Black Poetry : The need to crumble

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Kitana, May 9, 2002.

  1. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2001
    Messages:
    1,312
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    under the sun
    Ratings:
    +7
    I can only hold you up
    for so long
    only take care
    of your troubles
    for a certain
    amount of time~
    because while I'm
    taking care of yours
    who's taking care of mine

    you expect me to sit upon
    lifes shores and let
    waves of emotion
    wash over me
    day in day out
    expecting me to go
    with the ebb and flow
    of your ups and downs
    swimming against the tide
    so often that I
    feel like I'm drowning

    and on days like these
    when the wind is howling
    across our ocean
    with psyche waves
    crashing against my brain
    when I feel the relentless
    drops of rain from my eyes
    and the pain inside
    has the full impact of a tsunami~
    these are the days
    when I stop believing
    in you and me

    and it's days like these
    when I realise
    the damage that I
    am suffering from the battering
    and the constant weathering
    of your stormy seas
    and I know that if the weather patterns
    do not change soon
    then I fear that I
    will be washed away
    on a high tide~

    would you crack...if I crumbled

    (c) nfn 2002
     
  2. Euphoria

    Euphoria Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2002
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    journalism student
    Location:
    QLD, Australia
    Ratings:
    +0
    Wow.
    That was a really great poem.
    Love the imagery. The emotions are well conveyed.
    Really nice piece K. Thanks for sharing.
    *Emma*
     
  3. cocobutterskyn

    cocobutterskyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    4,182
    Likes Received:
    170
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Spreading Joy.... need some?
    Location:
    Sixburgh, Pa.
    Ratings:
    +220
    Kitana

    Yep, probably will.
    Abusers are co-dependent
    on the abused.
    Deep piece!

    Scribeaboutit!
    CCBSKYN :heart:
     
  4. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2001
    Messages:
    1,312
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    under the sun
    Ratings:
    +7
    Emma..thank you..I tried to convey not so much the negative emotions but the lonely emotions you feel when it all gets to be too much...

    Coco...I agree...they are strong when draining the life out of someone else...thanks for your support as always...

    K
     
  5. msluciousb

    msluciousb Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2001
    Messages:
    2,696
    Likes Received:
    5
    Occupation:
    Self Employed, Business Consultant
    Location:
    Kansas City, Missouri
    Ratings:
    +6
    Awesome depth!

    You are a strong woman...
    No storm will batter your
    being to the point of
    utter destruction you
    may be battered you
    shall be rescued and
    the tide will turn!!!!!
    BLESSINGS ON YA HOUSE:sand:
     
  6. Joyce

    Joyce Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 23, 2001
    Messages:
    2,715
    Likes Received:
    56
    Occupation:
    people
    Location:
    Florida
    Ratings:
    +56
    You had to be in a zone when you were writing this, because this is absolutely extraordinary. Nothing was left out and that hook was the bomb!!!

    would you crack...if I crumbled

    Thank you so much for sharing!

    Joyce

     
  7. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2001
    Messages:
    1,312
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    under the sun
    Ratings:
    +7
    mslb..thank you for your reply..I guess we all feel the pressure to crumble every now and then, but it is only a matter of time before you find the strength to go on...

    Joyce...thank you so much for your words...that last line is just the way I think we all feel sometimes...it doesn't mean we do not love the one we are with, it just means that sometimes we need to be lifted up and held close instead of just always doing the holding and lifting...sometimes it gets lonely when everyone expects you to be their strength...

    K
     
  8. j'hiah

    j'hiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2001
    Messages:
    3,429
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    lend me some sugar.. l am your neighbor
    Ratings:
    +70
    awesome from beginning to end.
    it kept me open.

    peaceful streams,
    jh.
     
Loading...