Black Jokes Humor : The Male Point System

Discussion in 'Black Jokes Humor' started by dstny, Jan 9, 2007.

  1. dstny

    dstny Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
    Make the woman happy.
    Do something she likes, and you get points.
    Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
    You don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

    Here's a guide to the point system.

    Simple Duties:

    You make the bed (+1)
    You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets(-1)
    You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
    You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty (0)
    When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
    When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)
    You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
    But return with beer (-5)
    You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
    You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing (0)
    You check out a suspicious noise and it's something (+5)
    You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
    It's her father (-20)

    Social Engagements

    You stay by her side the entire party (0)
    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
    Named Tiffany (-4)
    Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
    Tiffany has implants (-8)

    Her Birthday

    You take her out to dinner (0)
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
    Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
    And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
    It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

    A Night Out with The Boys

    Go out with a pal (-5)
    And the pal is happily married (-4)
    Or frighteningly single (-7)
    And he drives a Lotus (-10)
    With a personalized license plate "GR8 N BED" (-15)

    A Night Out

    You take her to a movie (+2)
    You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
    You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
    You take her to a movie you like (-2)
    It's called DeathCop3 (-3)
    Which features cyborgs having sex (-9)
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

    Your Physique

    You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
    You say "I don't give a **** because you have one too" (-800)

    The Big Question

    She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
    You hesitate in responding (-10)
    You reply, "Where?" (-35)

    Communication

    When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
    When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
    You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+10)
    She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep (-20)
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    well that sums it up i would say !
     
  3. mrron

    mrron Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Great post! You left out the one about the football widow
     
  4. c-note

    c-note Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Too funny (and true)! :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  5. Edward Williams

    Edward Williams Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Is that supposed to be funny?
     
  6. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    2 funny!
     
  7. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    very interesting
     
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