Black Relationships : The Love is GONE

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by CarrieMonet, Aug 19, 2004.

  1. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    "I just don't love you anymore."
    Have you ever heard someone say that?

    It's like they woke up one morning and that loving feeling was gone. I have always wondered how that is possible. I mean, some believe that love is a decision...while others believe that love is something you develope for someone over time. Doesn't it make more sense to assume that what they mean to say is "I love you, but I don't like you right now?"

    If you fell in love, married and signed up for the Happily Ever After Life, is it possible to fall OUT of love?
     
  2. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    as a quick answer I say yes it can happen, not like you posted though...later when I have time I'll get more into it because it's happened , is happenin to me...
    Mississippi Red :grin:
     
  3. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'd have to say that you can definately fall out of love. When people change for the worst after you fell in love with them, then it's like you are married to another person entirely. The things you loved about them are no longer there ....so there goes the love that you had. I think it takes a little more time. Like, I don't think you can be fine one day and fall out of love the next. People change slowly. Actually, many people don't change..they just start showing their true colors and stop putting up the front. That's why, IMO, alot of marriages and long-term relationships end...because people stop frontin' and start being themselves. Then the other person realizes that they love the "front" not the actual person.
     
  4. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I still love my ex.. and I'll always love my ex. What I don't love is the things he did, the words he said. I don't love him staying out late, or belittling me. DEep in my heart, the love is still there. Now, I'm not IN love with him anymore. Most of the time, people stop being IN love within the first few years of marriage/relationship. However, that doesn't mean the love is supposed to vanish into thin air. It's supposed to evolve. I don't think you stop loving someone, I think you stop being IN love with someone.
     
  5. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    not sure f 'fall' is quite the image conjured up n my mind of what happens 2 luv, but i do think it can com 2 an end. i agree w toylin, sometimes it's simply the passionate part has disapated, but the principled luv remains.

    2 me it's mor like the initial flames simmer down 2 a slo burn, & sometimes, when u get down 2 jus a few sparks left, the fire sort of peters out (n mor ways than 1). luv responds 2 nurturing & cultivation, but n order 2 survive, there must b som input of energy 2 sustain it from somewhere.

    on the other hand, jus b/c it can end, doesen't mean n every case, it does end. i believe we r speaking of romantic (eros) luv here, & it can certainly b the case tht som ppl r capable of sustaining that luv 4 a lifetime, possibly even longer.

    :love:
     
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