That year we started collabin' with The Southward Gangsters. We had our own sector though. We were called the Southward Killaz. We were the junior gangsters. Since, I was the bravest of them all Skeet let me be ova all of them. I was eight and representin' with the deadliest. That's what I'm talkin' bout.
"So, whas up lil' shorty? If you gon' be down with us you got to do this. I know you ain't scared cause you almost stabbed three people to death with a switch blade. You down?"
I looked down at the 9mm that Skeet held before me. I won't even lie, I was scared to death. I didn't know what to do. If I didn't do it then they were goin' to think I was soft but if I did do it then I was going to have to rob po' Ms. Jackson. Yes, that's right. It's the same Ms. Jackson that taught me in kindergarten. I know I couldn't back down though. That wasn't even an option.
I took one more look at the gun and I took it in my hands. "You got my back right?"
He laughed. "Now, when have I never had your back?"
I smirked and went back to concentrating on the situation at hand. "You got some blow on you?"
"Oh you know I always got that on me shorty." He went in his back pocket and brought out a fat blunt.
"Thanks for lookin' out homie." I took a puff of the blaze. Skeet looked at me crazy when I took it to the head. He tried to take a puff but I continued to get blazed. How he gon' give it to me and take it back. Naw homie it wasn't even going down like that.
"There she go lil' one. Step to her. I'll look out for ya. Blast her if she gives you any trouble. You know how we do." He pushed me from the porch across the way from her apartment.
"Aiight, aiight. Don't be rushin' me man. If I said I was gonna do it then I'm gonna to do it, d@mn"
I started my way ova to Ms. Jackson. I can't believe that I'm actually gonna do this ****. I looked all ways makin' sure Davon wasn't around. Davon was the neighborhood Christian type of brotha. He was tryin' to keep drugs off the block. I thought that was cool what he was doing and to be honest I really respected the brotha. Or shall I say he demanded respect from me. Either way, I neva portraited myself as a bad @ss around him. I mean, that was a given. Davon was always talkin' about the lord is comin' back and ****. Ain't no body tryin' to hear that. The Lord ain't blessed me with nothin' but the pissed ghetto projects. I ain't got nothin' to live for. If I die today, then I die. It ain't nothin' to live for but death.
I silently crept behind Ms. Jackson. She was putting her key on her door. "I'm sorry Ms. Jackson." I said softly.
"What? What did you say Ashley?" She looked at me.
I pulled the gun from my side. I was not feelin' what I was going to do with her one bit. "I'm sorry Ms. Jackson." I looked at her in the eyes." Now, open the ****ing door!" I said loudly so Skeet could hear me.
She looked at me nervously. I couldn't do this ****. She opened the door. I followed her in with the gun in her back. I closed the door behind me so no one would see me. Ms. Jackson lived alone. That's why she was the target for this robbery. I had been on many runs with the Southward Gangsters but I had never held a gun nor have I had I ever been on one by myself. D@mn, what have I gotten myself into?
I dropped the gun by my side once we were behind closed doors. "Ashley, you don't have to do this. You are a good girl. Why are you doing this?"
"Ms. Jackson, I'm not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. Just give me your money and your jewelry so I can roll out. It's that simple bee." I beginned to sweat like a dog.
She began looking through her purse. "Why are you doing this?"
"Don't act stupid Ms. Jackson, you know how I used to live. I just couldn't keep living like that. I'm a Southward killa now. I don't have to worry about when my head is goin' to be fed. I neva go hungry now." I stared at her.
"But Ashley, you don't have to do this. I can help you."
"Help me how? By puttin' me in one of those homes yo? I peeped your MO. I'm not crazy. I have common sense and I use it too. You just like the other teachers I've had in my days. You are nothin' different." I started to get mad and I aimed the gun back at her. This time at her head.
"Don't do it." She started to cry.
"Look Ms. Jackson, I'm not goin' to hurt you. I told you that. Just give me the loot."
She gave me her money. "Okay, now the rings and necklaces."
She gave me her jewelry. All except a gold locket. "And that too. What are you doin' yo?" I aimed the gun at her just in case she tried something stupid. I wasn't goin' to hurt her but scared people do some crazy **** yo.
"I can't give you this. This is mine's. If you want it you have to kill me." She looked at me with tears in her eyes.
I wasn't tryin' to kill nobody ova no locket yo. I was a bad @ss but I wasn't about to kill nobody ova no locket. Maybe her mama or somebody gave it to her. I don't know. All I know is she had given me enough to brag about to my homies and she was cool with me.
I walked out the house with my gun drawn. Once I had made it outside. I ran ova to the porch across the way. I was pretty sure that Ms. Jackson had seen where I had went but she wasn't a snitch. Well, she wouldn't snitch on me at least.
"Yeah shorty, you did it! What did you cop yo?" Skeet said all hype.
"Just jewelry and money yo." I held it out for him to see.
"Sweet."
I just looked at him with no expression. I couldn't believe what I had just done. "What's wrong shorty?"
"Nothin', let's be out this piece."
I started running hoping that the wind would dry the tears that I was sure to come. He ran too but I kept a lead on him so I would be sure that he wouldn't see me. We ran to the crack house on Viginia Terrace.
"Yo, yo ,yo. It's your boy Skeet and his lady Too fast. It about to be on and poppin' up in here yo. Our girl made her first drop on that fine @ss Ms. Jackson. You heard?"
The gang started gettin' rowdy. "That's my girl." Dante came over.
Dante was a fourteen year old. I was just nine but I had the biggest crush on him. He felt and I felt it too. We had this vibe. But like Marcus he had a girl too. Her name was Qwanda But she wasn't even no competition to me. I had him in the palm of my hands and everybody knew that. She was just a cut buddy to him. I wasn't ready to get down like that and I told him that so he had to get it somewhere cause it sho' wasn't comin' from me. I wasn't mad at him because whenever he saw me he left her hangin'. Pretty much like he just did. Her face was burnin' red. She had been like a bunny and hopped a little bit back in time and me and Dante set her back in her place. I beat her down and he gave her a tongue lashing. It was just that simple.
"Hey baby." I smiled.
He kissed my lips. "You are officially one of us now. Ya'll heard that!!!" He turned to the gang.
The shouted "Southward!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That's what I'm talkin' bout." He yelled back
I blushed. " So, what are you doin' today?"
"Nothin', I'm just hangin' around this piece for a while and headin' back home. Why?" He smiled.
"I was just askin'."
"Oh, okay. C'mere."
"Why?"
"Just c'mere." He gave me the hand motion to come closer.
I went over in his arms. "What do you......"
I was cut off by his tongue going down my throat. I melted in his arms. Qwanda came ova. She was older and much taller than me. She pushed me out the mix and interrupted us.
"Um, We got to go Dante. My mama gonna be home in a little while and I wanted some privacy." She made it quite clear what she wanted.
He looked at her. "Qwanda I don' told yo @ss about doin' that ****. You aiight Ashley?"
I brushed my shoulder off. "Yeah, I'm okay." I mean mugged her up and down.
"Whateva, are you comin' or not?" She sighed angrily.
"Naw, I got what I want right here." He looked at me assuringly.
She got so mad that she just stumped right out the door without another word. I looked at her and laughed.
He coughed to get my attention. " Um, now where were we?" He got close again.
"I think we were right here." I kissed him softly.
"Yes, right here."
We were interrupted again because they had to officially induct me into the gang. I had passed the test so I had to get a Southward tattoo and mark. Everybody was there. My girl Fatima, Big Mike, and Marcus. Yes, that's right. Marcus was there. He was jealous of Dante too. But I let him know that I wasn't feelin' him anymore especially after that Monique incident and he never stepped to him directly to cause drama. I was only tryin' to protect him. I think Dante would have probably killed him. Dante was a madd killa. He really didn't care. And I liked that about him. He was a bad boy. I luved bad boys. But he had settled down since I had got with him. It was me and him against the world because all the other fools were scared to even step to me. Not that I was interested anyway.
When the ceremony was over we dance, smoked blunts, and drunk 40's. This was my type of party. There I was havin' the party of my life when the party was busted by five-o. They came into the meat house with their guns drawn. They got Skeet. They got me too. I was scared. They grabbed me roughly. They had no mercy on me because I was only nine. They handled me with force. Though the handcuffs hurted I still didnt cry because I had to much pride. I looked at Dante and he almost hit one of the officers for handling me like that.
"Hey yo, back off her like that yo." He said loudly to the white officer.
I was scare and I just wanted to see what they were lockin' me up for. Though I already knew. And you probably do too.
To be continue..............
"So, whas up lil' shorty? If you gon' be down with us you got to do this. I know you ain't scared cause you almost stabbed three people to death with a switch blade. You down?"
I looked down at the 9mm that Skeet held before me. I won't even lie, I was scared to death. I didn't know what to do. If I didn't do it then they were goin' to think I was soft but if I did do it then I was going to have to rob po' Ms. Jackson. Yes, that's right. It's the same Ms. Jackson that taught me in kindergarten. I know I couldn't back down though. That wasn't even an option.
I took one more look at the gun and I took it in my hands. "You got my back right?"
He laughed. "Now, when have I never had your back?"
I smirked and went back to concentrating on the situation at hand. "You got some blow on you?"
"Oh you know I always got that on me shorty." He went in his back pocket and brought out a fat blunt.
"Thanks for lookin' out homie." I took a puff of the blaze. Skeet looked at me crazy when I took it to the head. He tried to take a puff but I continued to get blazed. How he gon' give it to me and take it back. Naw homie it wasn't even going down like that.
"There she go lil' one. Step to her. I'll look out for ya. Blast her if she gives you any trouble. You know how we do." He pushed me from the porch across the way from her apartment.
"Aiight, aiight. Don't be rushin' me man. If I said I was gonna do it then I'm gonna to do it, d@mn"
I started my way ova to Ms. Jackson. I can't believe that I'm actually gonna do this ****. I looked all ways makin' sure Davon wasn't around. Davon was the neighborhood Christian type of brotha. He was tryin' to keep drugs off the block. I thought that was cool what he was doing and to be honest I really respected the brotha. Or shall I say he demanded respect from me. Either way, I neva portraited myself as a bad @ss around him. I mean, that was a given. Davon was always talkin' about the lord is comin' back and ****. Ain't no body tryin' to hear that. The Lord ain't blessed me with nothin' but the pissed ghetto projects. I ain't got nothin' to live for. If I die today, then I die. It ain't nothin' to live for but death.
I silently crept behind Ms. Jackson. She was putting her key on her door. "I'm sorry Ms. Jackson." I said softly.
"What? What did you say Ashley?" She looked at me.
I pulled the gun from my side. I was not feelin' what I was going to do with her one bit. "I'm sorry Ms. Jackson." I looked at her in the eyes." Now, open the ****ing door!" I said loudly so Skeet could hear me.
She looked at me nervously. I couldn't do this ****. She opened the door. I followed her in with the gun in her back. I closed the door behind me so no one would see me. Ms. Jackson lived alone. That's why she was the target for this robbery. I had been on many runs with the Southward Gangsters but I had never held a gun nor have I had I ever been on one by myself. D@mn, what have I gotten myself into?
I dropped the gun by my side once we were behind closed doors. "Ashley, you don't have to do this. You are a good girl. Why are you doing this?"
"Ms. Jackson, I'm not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. Just give me your money and your jewelry so I can roll out. It's that simple bee." I beginned to sweat like a dog.
She began looking through her purse. "Why are you doing this?"
"Don't act stupid Ms. Jackson, you know how I used to live. I just couldn't keep living like that. I'm a Southward killa now. I don't have to worry about when my head is goin' to be fed. I neva go hungry now." I stared at her.
"But Ashley, you don't have to do this. I can help you."
"Help me how? By puttin' me in one of those homes yo? I peeped your MO. I'm not crazy. I have common sense and I use it too. You just like the other teachers I've had in my days. You are nothin' different." I started to get mad and I aimed the gun back at her. This time at her head.
"Don't do it." She started to cry.
"Look Ms. Jackson, I'm not goin' to hurt you. I told you that. Just give me the loot."
She gave me her money. "Okay, now the rings and necklaces."
She gave me her jewelry. All except a gold locket. "And that too. What are you doin' yo?" I aimed the gun at her just in case she tried something stupid. I wasn't goin' to hurt her but scared people do some crazy **** yo.
"I can't give you this. This is mine's. If you want it you have to kill me." She looked at me with tears in her eyes.
I wasn't tryin' to kill nobody ova no locket yo. I was a bad @ss but I wasn't about to kill nobody ova no locket. Maybe her mama or somebody gave it to her. I don't know. All I know is she had given me enough to brag about to my homies and she was cool with me.
I walked out the house with my gun drawn. Once I had made it outside. I ran ova to the porch across the way. I was pretty sure that Ms. Jackson had seen where I had went but she wasn't a snitch. Well, she wouldn't snitch on me at least.
"Yeah shorty, you did it! What did you cop yo?" Skeet said all hype.
"Just jewelry and money yo." I held it out for him to see.
"Sweet."
I just looked at him with no expression. I couldn't believe what I had just done. "What's wrong shorty?"
"Nothin', let's be out this piece."
I started running hoping that the wind would dry the tears that I was sure to come. He ran too but I kept a lead on him so I would be sure that he wouldn't see me. We ran to the crack house on Viginia Terrace.
"Yo, yo ,yo. It's your boy Skeet and his lady Too fast. It about to be on and poppin' up in here yo. Our girl made her first drop on that fine @ss Ms. Jackson. You heard?"
The gang started gettin' rowdy. "That's my girl." Dante came over.
Dante was a fourteen year old. I was just nine but I had the biggest crush on him. He felt and I felt it too. We had this vibe. But like Marcus he had a girl too. Her name was Qwanda But she wasn't even no competition to me. I had him in the palm of my hands and everybody knew that. She was just a cut buddy to him. I wasn't ready to get down like that and I told him that so he had to get it somewhere cause it sho' wasn't comin' from me. I wasn't mad at him because whenever he saw me he left her hangin'. Pretty much like he just did. Her face was burnin' red. She had been like a bunny and hopped a little bit back in time and me and Dante set her back in her place. I beat her down and he gave her a tongue lashing. It was just that simple.
"Hey baby." I smiled.
He kissed my lips. "You are officially one of us now. Ya'll heard that!!!" He turned to the gang.
The shouted "Southward!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That's what I'm talkin' bout." He yelled back
I blushed. " So, what are you doin' today?"
"Nothin', I'm just hangin' around this piece for a while and headin' back home. Why?" He smiled.
"I was just askin'."
"Oh, okay. C'mere."
"Why?"
"Just c'mere." He gave me the hand motion to come closer.
I went over in his arms. "What do you......"
I was cut off by his tongue going down my throat. I melted in his arms. Qwanda came ova. She was older and much taller than me. She pushed me out the mix and interrupted us.
"Um, We got to go Dante. My mama gonna be home in a little while and I wanted some privacy." She made it quite clear what she wanted.
He looked at her. "Qwanda I don' told yo @ss about doin' that ****. You aiight Ashley?"
I brushed my shoulder off. "Yeah, I'm okay." I mean mugged her up and down.
"Whateva, are you comin' or not?" She sighed angrily.
"Naw, I got what I want right here." He looked at me assuringly.
She got so mad that she just stumped right out the door without another word. I looked at her and laughed.
He coughed to get my attention. " Um, now where were we?" He got close again.
"I think we were right here." I kissed him softly.
"Yes, right here."
We were interrupted again because they had to officially induct me into the gang. I had passed the test so I had to get a Southward tattoo and mark. Everybody was there. My girl Fatima, Big Mike, and Marcus. Yes, that's right. Marcus was there. He was jealous of Dante too. But I let him know that I wasn't feelin' him anymore especially after that Monique incident and he never stepped to him directly to cause drama. I was only tryin' to protect him. I think Dante would have probably killed him. Dante was a madd killa. He really didn't care. And I liked that about him. He was a bad boy. I luved bad boys. But he had settled down since I had got with him. It was me and him against the world because all the other fools were scared to even step to me. Not that I was interested anyway.
When the ceremony was over we dance, smoked blunts, and drunk 40's. This was my type of party. There I was havin' the party of my life when the party was busted by five-o. They came into the meat house with their guns drawn. They got Skeet. They got me too. I was scared. They grabbed me roughly. They had no mercy on me because I was only nine. They handled me with force. Though the handcuffs hurted I still didnt cry because I had to much pride. I looked at Dante and he almost hit one of the officers for handling me like that.
"Hey yo, back off her like that yo." He said loudly to the white officer.
I was scare and I just wanted to see what they were lockin' me up for. Though I already knew. And you probably do too.
To be continue..............
