Black Poetry : The Gallery

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by shaneak, Jun 12, 2001.

  1. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If I had a picture for every seen of my life.
    If we could have a picture of every seen of our life.
    From the time we're born.
    To the time we say our vows to our husband or wife.

    The many shades of gray....
    The colors blue...
    The pain...The hurt...
    The brutality too.

    Let me show you a picture...
    Where the sun never shines....
    Where a picked fence hold up vines...
    And behind it lies a garden of black roses....
    With thorns as sharp as needles...
    And everywhere theres beetles...

    Ahhh but then i could take you to Sunny Mountain...
    This beautiful Mantle is called....
    Where the sun is warm and soothing...
    Where the air is clean to breath in....
    And it has rivers for miles....
    Longer than the nile...
    With fish as big as cats...
    And their lives no serpents or rats...
    Where the streets are clean and free...
    And everyone is sane.......
    MENTALLY...

    And yet on this other wall...
    this one stands out from them all...
    Quiet and sudden...
    Peace yet anger...
    as the clouds in this picture turn from gray to red...
    Where there is no flower bed...
    Where the rain is constantly pouring
    where people are constantly whoring...
    And off in the distance....through all the terror...
    you see this small little hut...
    With this small little mut...
    And the cutest baby boy....
    And his mommie and his daddie...
    and yet they are happy....
    Though sky is never blue....
    And sun hardly shines too...
    And they can only find peace in the night...
    as the look into the moonlight...

    All the pictures in the Gallery....
    And I saw one out of the unordinary...
    A body that look old and wary...
    She was dressed to the tee...
    Her outfit looked like it was back in the 16 century...
    the ruffles of her dress....sleeves that covered her hand...
    and neckline that could choke her...
    but then i looked in this ladies eyes...
    And she looked like she wanted to cry...
    she was just sitting...Not sure where...
    there was no stairs...no windows..no doors...
    no sun...no rain...no clouds...or floors.
    But sitting...thinking..with a look of torment upon her face...
    Like she was unhappy with her place....
    IN the GALLERY...

    And without dismay...
    i decided to step away...
    and walk to the oposite wall.
    Where i found an ocean...
    Tides as high as the sky scrapers...
    Sky as blue as midnight....
    it look like the wind was going over 100 mph...
    And their was someone in the sea...
    Swimming...
    dipping and diving...
    Like he or she was trying to survive the tidal waves.
    As they landed on him or her...
    One by one...
    Pulling him or her...further out into the ocean...
    Deeper under the sea...
    It looked like he or she couldn't breathe...
    Lungs probably filled with water...
    I wonder how they got there...I thought to myself...
    I wonder if a storm is going on...I wonder what went wrong...

    In the Gallery....
     
  2. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Feed Back!!

    Okay guys...I need your opinion on this one. Critique my work.. Please!!!!
     
  3. DymePlaya2g

    DymePlaya2g Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ya know i'ma come thru for ya NEAK NEAK...

    honestly...for me, i was a lil' confused by the first two stanza's because it seemed like you were taking the poem somewhere else...that sounds like it could be another poem in itself...i enjoyed it from "Let me show you a picture..." because it was extremely vivid in description and emotion. hope my realness is appreciated and/or helpful.
     
  4. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    interesting...to say the least.

    to try to describe every picture in the gallery

    if i had one picture
    of one scene in my life
    would it be of my children
    my mother
    my wife
    would it be on the beach
    the playground
    or streets
    lost in blue skies
    as the sun makes me weak

    if i had one picture
    of one scene in my life
    it wouldn't tell a full story
    but it would say i'm aiight
    full of smiles and happy things
    ...tender moments here and there
    and when i'd take a peek at it
    my mind would wonder everywhere

    if i had one picture
    of one scene in my life
    i would be a little child
    with childish dreams throughout the night
    the world would seem a wondrous thing
    filled with love and hope and dreams
    and when i'd travel near and far
    i'd discover truth in all i gleam

    if i had one picture
    of one scene
    in my life.
     
  5. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank Ya!!! Thank Ya!!!

    DP2g: Thanks for the analogy. You are exactly right. What i did was i started allowing you to think about you, your life and what type of pictures you would create. Kind of like what baller did. ;) Then I flipped it and placed a setting in a gallery with different types of pictures. Which in turn would allow you to think of a gallery with not only those pictures. But if your own was placed in there and someone was looking at it. Different scenes...different lives. Thanks for input!!! Preciate it!!!!:D

    Baller: That was beautiful. I like that a lot. Did i inspire?!!!:p
     
  6. Bishop

    Bishop Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    NOW DIS IS DEEP!!!! I LIKES THIS VERY MUCH!!!!! I WANNA SEE SOME MO OF THIS FLOW!!!
     
  7. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    and you will very soon... ;)
     
  8. MapleXtract

    MapleXtract Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree...

    ...with DP2g, its very abstract in the beginning, which made it a lot more interesting, to me, because I, then, conjured up my own interpretation, which fell right into place with the rest of the piece... Very deep...
     
  9. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why thank you miss lady!!! That's exactly what i was going for!!!!
     
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