Black People : The Five Rules of Inter-Racial Dating

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by panafrica, May 3, 2004.

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  1. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    1. The golden rule of inter-racial dating is that you must treat your white mate better than you would a member of your own race. 2. Show them more understanding and patience. 3. Lower your expectations for them, whether they be financial or physical. 4. Never complain about your white mate, for you risk your family & friends telling you "I told you so". 5. Keep a public facade of a happy stress free life at all cost, in order to maintain the image of the grass is greener on the other side.
     
  2. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Points Well Taken and also I think it is vice-versa too. However, I do belive that love has no color and that some interracial relationships work.

    But alot of times, I see these rules across alot of faces in alot of races.
     
  3. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think that people who "exclusively" date outside their race are fooling themselves. They have self-hate deep down and need some counseling. For black men, I think black women are the ideal choice for relationships, but there are exceptions. If you have not come across a black woman that you can connect with, but you meet, say, a hispanic woman who does just that, I don't think you should pass her up simply because she is not black. I do think along with MANASIAC that love has nothing to do with color. I think that it depends on the person. Though, I don't think I would ever date a white woman for the simple fact that most are not physically attractive to me. If a woman is a headache, whether black or white or hispanic or asian, she's gonna be a headache just the same. I do think that black women as a whole get a bad rap, but you should in my opinion date someone who you connect with no matter what the color and no matter what your friends or family think.
     
  4. SensualReality

    SensualReality Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There are rules........
    WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO:lol:
    I see no reason I should change how I act for someone else
    Reason being if I'm with them then they already know what's up with our relationship and we obviously except eachother for who we are:wink:
     
  5. AfroBoricuaRoni

    AfroBoricuaRoni Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wait a minute

    There are no rules to interracial dating. Not everyone is the same and no one specific type of people are deservant of some special treatment, regardless of the situation. It all depends on the person. Would you treat a nasty white woman with the same respect you would a upstanding white woman just because she was white? And would a black woman would be less qualified for the same treatment just because she was the same color as you?

    Rule number one throws me off because you should treat anyone who you are invoved with with the same respect you would have them treat you.

    Public facades are jokes. Why pretend? Everyone has problems whether the relationship is destined to go places or not.

    There is nothing wrong with interracial dating. I don't agree with women who sit around and say they need a good black man to take care of them, No! What you need is any good man who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Get with the times. Preferences are one thing that need not be confused with standards. There are no standards and guidelines for love...or even infatuation for that matter.

    What we need to realize is that while if you take care of home first before you go out and please the rest of the world you could save yourself half of the trouble and especially wipe out that 4th rule.
     
  6. yaphet al-wynn

    yaphet al-wynn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Don't know about the rest but number 4 seems to be VERY universal on both Black genders. You know ,some been in numerous interracial relationships that just DID not work and to a person-they never said anything BAD about the white significant other, even if they engaged in very egregious or very bad behavior that they never would ever tolerate form a Black person.
     
  7. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    First let me say...the grass is whiter on the other side, we're not talking about grass, ..we're talking about white people. and know this about me, ...I believe in calling a spade..."a SPADE"!

    Now we can all,...agree to DISAGREE, we all have that right, so they say (but in reality ..we don't) having said that let me say this: I cannot see myself looking in the eyes of my oppessor, no..not me. If his eyes don't look like my fathers, then I'm in the wrong crowd. How can you not see the raft of what we (black people) have went through, and as of today...still going through? for all of you who say, ...race don't matter? ask O.J Simpson, ask Michael Jackson and countless others who thought RACE didn't matter. How can you love someone who, everyday... kill our babies? send our men (black men) to both prisons and wars? (which are one of the same) Please people, ...watch: "The spook who sat by the door". Listen: they sold us, beat us, stripped us of our name, our language, raped us, spit on us, ...and today, nothing has changed. They are now doing it in "Grand Style"
    NOTHING about this story...turns me on. So how can I look in a white man's eyes with love? I can give you a whole rap sheet of the dirt that has/is being done to me/us.

    AfroBoricualRoni...
    In light of one of the questions you asked? I do believe I covered it in my above statement. If we treat the white race...the way they treated/treating us...THEY WOULD NO LONGER EXIT!! because first of all, we out number them. And if you go back into our history books (not theirs) you and a few others may have a change of heart...and stay with your own!
    Oh, by the way, I found it very interesting that you would make the statement: TAKE CARE OF HOME FIRST!!! ...I rest my case.
     
  8. vj57

    vj57 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I haven't had much exposure to interracial couples, but I will say this and hope it doesn't anger any black men here, because I'm speaking the TRUTH from my own personal experience: I did experience better dates with white guys over black guys.

    White guys would take me to very nice restaurants and/or movies, theaters, etc. When it came down to black men, they were more interested in just coming over to my home so I could cook for them. And when I moved to a certain area, I never had the opportunity to go out on a date with a black man. They just didn't want to spend any money on a sister.

    I have friends who experienced the same ordeal and they have decided to date non-black men. That's the way it is, brothers and I hope I didn't offend anyone. But I refuse to be bothered with someone who wants maid service. I'm worthy of a nice restaurant (not some **** McDonald's) and if non-black men provide it, I'm for it.

    My last experience with a black man just did it for me. I had broken my ankle and he had promised to drive me to the beach since I could not attend a company function. I waited and waited and he never showed up. I heard from him about two weeks later and he gave the excuse "I had to work". Where was the courtesy of a phone call?

    In a way I can understand Dennis and Wesley. Not that I will say negative things about all black men. For some of my friends have quality black men in their lives; it's just that my luck with them hasn't been good.

    By the way, I'm a firm believer in not chasing after a man, so if a white man wants to take me out, and I like him, I'm going! And I had a serious relationship with a white guy, but it ended because he had a problem with too much drinking and was ignorant when he got drunk. He had one time to disrespect me and I dropped him in a New York minute.

    I wasn't going to tolerate his badness; likewise the same standard goes for any man. Years later, he apologized, but we never got back together. Sadly, he died last year because of his severe drinking. I tried to help and encourage him to stop drinking and smoking, but he didn't listen to me.

    While it may be true that some people had a better relationship with someone from another race over their own, many of us black women would never tolerate disrespect from any man.

    I was severely beaten by a black man, something I never suffered at the hands of a white man. Even though my late friend was a drunkard, he never struck me. The sober black man brutalized me and I'm proud to say, he suffered a near death beating at the hands of male relatives.

    And I've heard some black men say that white women are less drama. Perhaps for some that may be true. To sum it all up, we don't need drama, we see enough of that with Jerry Springer and the soaps.
     
  9. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    First of all, I think that that is one of the reason's why men don't take women to expensive retaraunts on first dates. It's become such a priority to get someone to spend a buck. I know I won't take a woman to an expensive restaraunt on the first date. Let's see if you have some conversation and goals and anything going on before I spend lots of money at a nice restaraunt. If I have to impress, so do you. That's my view. We'll save that for when I know you can actually hold a decent conversation. It doesn't have to do with being a black man, it's about not being stupid. I'm all for going out and having a good time on a first date, but nice restaraunts for a stranger will get a man nowhere. I'm not saying you have to cook either. That's a little scanless too.

    There are bad in all races sista, and I'm sorry for your drama and abuse at the hands of this so-called man. I agree that we should not have to suffer such things from one's that are supposed to be dealing out the love. Hopefully you will find a good man, whether he is black or white or anyother race.
     
  10. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I don't know how to reply to this thread. In short, I will seek to keep emotion out of my answer. Does love have a color ? To keep it real, we have to ask ourselves just what love is ? Since I'm more than sure that we can all agree that love is a feeling that poets have tried for thousands of years to define with no real luck...we are on common ground. Let us now go to school, cause class is in session.

    1. We agree that love is a feeling.
    2. Since many of us don't know WHAT A FEELING IS or how it's produced in the body, please let me explain.
    (A.) Behind Every Feeling Is A Thought, whether conscious or subconscious.
    (B.) There Is No Such Thing As Someone Saying " I did it because I felt like it"
    (C.) If we feel any feeling at any time and actually take the time to be honest with ourselves, we can find the THOUGHT BEHIND THE FEELINGS.
    (D.) Once we have the conscious or subconscious thought in our minds, the thought process produces VIBRATIONS IN THE BODY. THE VIBRATIONS PRODUCED BY THE THOUGHT PROCESS ARE WHAT WE CALL FEELINGS.

    Since I had to get scientific on you for greater understanding...Love does have a color. Since no feeling is the result of its ownself but is produced by conscious or subconscious thought processes, we must now ask ourselves where the WHITE THOUGHT PROCESS CAME FROM THAT CAUSED THE ATTRACTION IN THE FIRST PLACE.

    The very idea of a blackman or woman having WHITE THOUGHTS SPEAKS A WHOLE ENCYCLOPEDIA IN ITSELF !! I REALLY NEED GO NO FURTHER, FOR ANYTIME A BLACKMAN OR WOMAN IS HAVING WHITE THOUGHTS, WE ARE SPEAKING OF ALIENATION FROM SELF...AND YES, THERE EXIST SUCH THINGS AS BLACK AND WHITE THOUGHT PROCESSES. THEY ARE HISTORICAL, CULTURAL, BIOLOGICAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL AND CHEMICAL...AND ANYTIME WE ARE HAVING THEM, WHETHER CONSCIOUS OR SUBCONSCIOUS, WE ARE SUBJECT TO SEVERE ALIENATION...AND AS SUCH OUR ATTRACTION TO THE ALIEN-NATION DOES NOT SURPRISE ME AT ALL !!! SO MUCH FOR BEING BLACK !!

    For the sister attracted to white men for whatever reason. You will never find a suitable blackman to treat you as they do. How can this happen when you are using WHITE STANDARDS TO JUDGE A BLACKMAN ?

    TO AFRO-BORIQUA...YOU ARE RIGHT...TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN HOME FIRST...FOR IN DOING SO, YOU TOO WOULD NEVER CONSIDER DATING A WHITE MAN.

    FOR EVERYBODY ELSE JUST PERPETRATING THE BLACK, MY ASNSWER TO THE ALIENATION AND ALIEN-NATION WAS RIGHT ON POINT.
     
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