Spoken Word : The Fear

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by CreativeExpress, Nov 19, 2004.

  1. CreativeExpress

    CreativeExpress Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    Boston, Massachusetts
    Ratings:
    +0
    There is a tiny part of me
    that holds a hint of jealousy
    I treat it as a fallacy
    but it has become a part of me
    I'm nervous it will dominate
    and this hint will slowly procreate
    to a full grown fear of lies and deception
    my confidence won't be my protection

    I'll isolate myself and think my own thoughts
    and they will burn in me and I'll fall apart
    and he won't see that I am broken
    and the fear will be a word between us unspoken

    So I'll have my twisted assumptions
    and it will cause "forever" disruptions
    I'll want to put in trust
    I'll want to believe
    but the fear of rejection
    will stay sewn on my sleeve
    it won't leave
    it will be a constant
    the fear will make me despondent
    make me long to end the painful ride
    make me contemplate suicide
    and all the while from him I'll hide....
    the fear.
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    hi ....we basely use this forum for wave voice files
    i will move your other threads to the poetry get your flow on forum
    spoken word is for this forum .
     
  3. Victoria87

    Victoria87 Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    That was pretty good.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    yes it is nice and flowed smooth
     
  5. PatriceCQueen

    PatriceCQueen Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2001
    Messages:
    385
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    I teach Teen Health
    Location:
    Brooklyn
    Ratings:
    +11
    The Fear
    There is a tiny part of me
    that holds a hint of jealousy


    This piece was very good. Good is an understatement. I liked how it divided itself from the beginning it continued the division showing how a little fear can snowball into other dimension, that though a personal thought, was able to bring the reader into their own process and claim the piece somewhat. I like how each line never abandoned the other and that somehow the piece appears entirely edited in that there is nothing to change, since it flowed well. Of course you as a writer can always let your work evolve into anything you want. It was a pleasure to read. it also speaks to the maximum tragedy of what fear can make us do and yet it begs to hope for better things. It is definately a thought grabber.
     
  6. Versatile

    Versatile Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2005
    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +4
    interesting piece..i like it
     
Loading...