Poetry Critiques : The Death of Debate

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by One9_Arch, Aug 4, 2007.

  1. One9_Arch

    One9_Arch Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Greetings fr. One9_Arch:

    I am seeking constructive criticism of the following poem. Any and all opinions will be greatly appreciated. Salaam.

    The Death of Debate​


    Reality, as you know it, is a dream indeed;
    Blind, deaf, and dumb
    You refuse to believe...

    That truth speaks only to the conscious.
    Dead can't lead Us home;
    We on Our own, all Convicts.

    Convicted of the truth, from our youths, homicidal.
    Assemilated by means of deception...
    With the Bible ... they crept in.

    Uprooted the Tribe and displaced
    A Remnant most righteous;
    Wanna claim the place ... of Gods
    But they can't.

    Pay attention as I demonstrate knowledge in thanks--
    To the Black God, all praises due to thy Ranks.

    Time up! See the night turn cold;
    To the banks of Babylon for His people,
    Did a Black God go.

    With more flare than the obsolete, fickle and fake.
    Came to execute judgment;
    The Death of Debate.​
     
  2. hiphopolx

    hiphopolx Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't check for the poetry here to often but if there is more like this I will be there on a regular.

    I want to hang this one on my wall.

    sry I don't have/can't find any critique yet. Maybe some of the more disillusioned ppl can provide something :qqb011: :D :qqb011: :D
    :great::great::great::great::great:
    :great::great::great::great::great:
    :great::great::great::great::great:
    :great::great::great::great::great:
    :great::great::great::great::great:
     
  3. Afru Shukuwr

    Afru Shukuwr Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I cant find nothing at all to criticize about it. Thats a great poem.
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What I see here is that in this piece you set out to present an open and shut case, clear and concise regarding our plight. And that, you certainly did. I found it to be very well written.
     
  5. One9_Arch

    One9_Arch Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Salaam:

    Yes, that was my purpose, to an extent. It came out better than I thought it would, so I posted it. Thank you.

    In Peace
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very well done this could be a classic , don't change a thing
     
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