Poetry Critiques : The Crying Child's Prayer

[BaBiNaNa*]

The Crying Child’s Prayer

I’m tired of crying, but pretending it’s alright.
I’m lonely and scared when I go to sleep at night.
I hate when I smile to fake everything’s okay.
I don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t want to live this way.
Lord take my hand, and please don’t let go.
b/c I feel like I’m dying, there’s no window. There’s no door.
I’m trapped with these thoughts racing in my head.
I go days without eating, just lying in my bed.
I know there’s more to life than what I’ve seen.
Wash my hands, help me be clean.
Show me the way, and I won’t do this again.
Love me through my mistakes. Just be my friend.

BaBiNaNa*

 

[$$RICH$$]

This piece was phat ...I love the concept of it and how it kiss each line
it would bring even a more powerful splash if it was in a 3 or 4 stanza concept
very well versed too , ya pen and creativity is strong love what u do keep ding it

you brought it with face value and realism .....very great piece of work poet !

welcome to Honesty critiques BaBiNaNa

 

[watzinaname]

Speaking in the pleading words of a child, begging for help, for no this should not be. Poet, how this touched me, and let us pray that the heavy burden of such children be lifted. Welcome to Destee.com!! Looking forward to reading more from you.

 

[HODEE]

I like this flow
The poem stayed in the emotion
It flowed well and ended strong
Keep up the great work BaBiNaNa*

 

[Da Street So'ja]

i like it

i think it touches us all

and that to me makes it a great work

peace