Black Relationships : The Contradiction

IMO, the "solution" lies in the hands of both sides, Black men and Black women.

Yes, (I repeat) I agree with you that it is the Black woman who suffers ALL of the LIABILITY when she mates with a "Mookie." Therefore, it behooves HER and is in HER best interest NOT to be involved with a "Mookie" no matter how smooove his rap or how good-lookin' or fine.

However, IMO, the "solution" lies NOT in just telling Black females, "SAY NO TO MOOKIE."

Tacitly, that sends a message that says, "Well, them "Mookies" are out there, and we (Black men) can't do nothing 'bout 'em. *Cuz, you know, a man's gonna be a man.* So, it up to YALL to stop fallin' for their hustles and games. If YALL would stop hookin' up with them Mookies, then our people would be better off sociologically and economically."

If a Black man will speak to another Brotha about avoiding a "Skanketta," then why can't he also talk to another Brotha about NOT being a "Mookie?"

Likewise, for Black women talking to their Sistas about NOT being a "Skanketta" AND NOT gettin' hooked up with a "Mookie."

On the "Mookie Syndrome," I have personally heard and seen fathers and uncles and older cousins and older brothers take younger Black males (sons/nephews/brothers/cousins) with them when they have been cheating on their wives or girlfriends....They have allowed these young Black boys to listen to them on phone calls while they "spit their game" and (after hanging up) have INSTRUCTED them on WHAT to say and HOW to talk to girls/women to get them to fall for their "game/hustle."

So, when our young boys GROW UP being "TRAINED" on HOW TO BE A "MOOKIE," then what else can we expect? ---These young boys grow up LOOKING UP to these (so-called) men in their lives and they want to EMULATE them.

Conversely, there are young black girls who have grown up seeing their mothers "do what she gotta do" to make it...and/or their mothers have such low self-esteem, she thinks a "Mookie" is the best she can do.

But, then, we have some who wanna tell all Black females, "Well, YALL just need tah stop gettin' with them Mookies!.....Stop havin' alla these out-of-wedlock babies with these MOOKIES!"

Our problems in the BLACK FAMILY UNIT is the EFFECT and the CAUSE is GENERATIONAL DYSFUNCTION on BOTH SIDES.

So, the SOLUTIONS must come from BOTH SIDES as well.

sigh

Please show me where I said this. In fact, no male or female that has agreed with me has said this. My direct statements have always been, Mookie doesnt care about anyones moralizing. He is regularly rewarded for being bad. There is absolutely no incentive for him to change because he is rewarded. Moreover, here is the main problem. You referring to him as a man.

Your observations of the training is all the more reason sisters to be in more control. You arent the only female that has seen this. But, as you have admitted, that warning hasnt armed many of you. For the last two generations, the hand that rocked the cradle has spawned and trained them. Because I have seen mothers and aunts telling their sons they doint have to man up. As was said by another, the simple act of denying this loser what he wants changes the paradigm. You will hear 'My Girl' again, instead of 'Drop it Like It's Hard'



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sigh

Please show me where I said this. In fact, no male or female that has agreed with me has said this.

*sigh*

I said that your spiel TACITLY sends such a message.

My direct statements have always been, Mookie doesnt care about anyones moralizing. He is regularly rewarded for being bad. There is absolutely no incentive for him to change because he is rewarded.

In your "SAY NO TO MOOKIE" CAMPAIGN do you have some kinda workshop or role-playing class that teaches Black females how to spot a "Mookie?"

In your "SAY NO TO MOOKIE" CAMPAIGN do you have a workshop or class for Black males on how NOT to be a "Mookie?"


Moreover, here is the main problem. You referring to him as a man.

I was using the term "man" VERY LOOSELY. :-/

Your observations of the training is all the more reason sisters to be in more control. You arent the only female that has seen this. But, as you have admitted, that warning hasnt armed many of you.

Wait a minnit....My observations have been mostly of BLACK MEN "training" young Black boys how to be cheaters and sperm-donors and male whores and users of women.

For the last two generations, the hand that rocked the cradle has spawned and trained them.

HA! --- A "GENERATION" is a span of time and eras that covers from 20 to 25 years.

So, YOU think MOTHERS have trained these "Mookies" in the last 45 to 50 years?!

If you think this has only become prevalent in the "LAST 2 GENERATIONS," where have YOU been?!

And, no, it wasn't JUST the "hand that rocked the cradle." --They have been trained and "schooled" by their MALE ELDERS.

Because I have seen mothers and aunts telling their sons they doint have to man up.

Because there should be a MAN in that house SHOWING HIM HOW TO BE ONE.

And I have seen fathers and uncles and older cousins and brothers TELL and SHOW their younger maleshow NOT to "man up" as well.

As was said by another, the simple act of denying this loser what he wants changes the paradigm. You will hear 'My Girl' again, instead of 'Drop it Like It's Hard'

And Black men teaching Black girls and women about the darts and snares of "Mookie" will also change the paradigm.

And Black men teaching Black boys not to be "Mookies" will also change the paradigm.
 
[*sigh*

I said that your spiel TACITLY sends such a message. Oh yes you did. You, you, woman you!


In your "SAY NO TO MOOKIE" CAMPAIGN do you have some kinda workshop or role-playing class that teaches Black females how to spot a "Mookie?"

In your "SAY NO TO MOOKIE" CAMPAIGN do you have a workshop or class for lack males on how NOT to be a "Mookie?"

sigh Any male who's been around the block a few times, knows what a gold digger, bimbo, chicken head, skank, etc is. He may get with it anyway. But he knows what it is. You guys are suppose to mature quicker and be more intuitive. Why is it that most of you claim not to have this key information?????


I was using the term "man" VERY LOOSELY. :-/ Uh huh



Wait a minnit....My observations have been mostly of BLACK MEN "training" young Black boys how to be cheaters and sperm-donors and male whores and users of women. You arent the only one. And many of the female observers date these losers anyway.


HA! --- A "GENERATION" is a span of time and eras that covers from 20 to 25 years.

So, YOU think MOTHERS have trained these "Mookies" in the last 45 to 50 years?! I did not stutter, hesitate or equivocate when I said this. The early 80s is when this crap 1st took hold.

If you think this has only become prevalent in the "LAST 2 GENERATIONS," where have YOU been?!

And, no, it wasn't JUST the "hand that rocked the cradle." --They have been trained and "schooled" by their MALE ELDERS. My statement stands. I know what I saw. I know what I heard. The data bares me out. That is the period of the explosion of the single parent mother. Facts is facts



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Because there should be a MAN in that house SHOWING HIM HOW TO BE ONE.

And I have seen fathers and uncles and older cousins and brothers TELL and SHOW their younger maleshow NOT to "man up" as well.



And Black men teaching Black girls and women about the darts and snares of "Mookie" will also change the paradigm.

And Black men teaching Black boys not to be "Mookies" will also change the paradigm.

[/quote]


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This statement by a female poster is why I started this thread. "... moreover, to me a paper by some religion doesnt warrant a valid union imo or the devil society (i.e civil marriage) because they are all frauds. if a man and woman have a mutual understanding that they are for each other then THEY ARE FOR EACH OTHER:) . If the woman allows her man to have more than one woman then that is different, she is alright with it, which i don't think this is one of those cases..."
This mentality and others such statements show why we are where we are. It is self defeating. And for the record, I am getting EXACTLY the reaction I expected.



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Okay now this is something different altogether - I actually agree with what she is saying ... what two decide is comfortable for them then it is comfortable for them. If SHE allows more then one woman then that is what SHE allow. It becomes sticky when assessing what two grown folks do in their home and time together. Marriage in America is a fraud, when you marry you are signing your personal relationship over to the government which is why they can dictate your marriage and what you can or cannot do (based on state laws). Its just like babies - when they are born that birth certificate states that your child is the property of the US. So yes I definitely agree with what she is saying from what I see posted.

The reason why we are in the position we are in has nothing to do with what two people choice to do in the privacy of their home of their unwillingness to rap rings around their figures. We are suffering because of the decisions we make and our backward thinking such as "I need a bad boy", "ruff neck", "thug" or from the males perspective, "I need a bad B***", "down h*", "ride or die chick", et al. If we stop thinking backward (wanting the negative) then maybe we will move forward. Its like the laws of attraction - if you put out what you want then that is what you are going to get and our people though the wording of the mouth put our some of the most negative energy amongst all people. The only people that got us whooped is the Dalits of India and even they are changing their tone.

Peace


Ru2religious
 
Okay now this is something different altogether - I actually agree with what she is saying ... what two decide is comfortable for them then it is comfortable for them. If SHE allows more then one woman then that is what SHE allow. It becomes sticky when assessing what two grown folks do in their home and time together. Marriage in America is a fraud, when you marry you are signing your personal relationship over to the government which is why they can dictate your marriage and what you can or cannot do (based on state laws). Its just like babies - when they are born that birth certificate states that your child is the property of the US. So yes I definitely agree with what she is saying from what I see posted.

The reason why we are in the position we are in has nothing to do with what two people choice to do in the privacy of their home of their unwillingness to rap rings around their figures. We are suffering because of the decisions we make and our backward thinking such as "I need a bad boy", "ruff neck", "thug" or from the males perspective, "I need a bad B***", "down h*", "ride or die chick", et al. If we stop thinking backward (wanting the negative) then maybe we will move forward. Its like the laws of attraction - if you put out what you want then that is what you are going to get and our people though the wording of the mouth put our some of the most negative energy amongst all people. The only people that got us whooped is the Dalits of India and even they are changing their tone.

Peace


Ru2religious

I am well aware that many agree with this new age BS. You can track the upswing in this philosophy in the down turn in our community. Marriage is a commitment to each other. Breaking it off is when the Judeao-Christian laws ( your marriage vows ) are enforced by the government. Not marrying is an attempt to get out of the deal from jump. So, if she goes for it, fine. But that doesnt change the facts. If he wanted it, he really woulda put a ring on it! So, you are right, in that, if she lets you run that, she gets what she deserves. We all want no strings attached mating. lol Your generation was the 1st to pull it off in modern times. lol




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