Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Goddess Auset333, May 12, 2007.

  1. Goddess Auset333

    Goddess Auset333 Banned MEMBER

    Feb 9, 2007
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    POSTER writes: Sometimes books are sent to me that are so unbelievable/ludicrous/ freakin' crazy that I have to see if I'm the only one who feels this way.

    This particular book made me ask the question, "Are you serious?"
    Apparently, the author Kurin is very serious. He went as far as to self-publish, THE BLACK MAN'S GUIDE ON HOW TO CHEAT ON YOUR WOMAN.

    I've flipped through the pages with my mouth-dropped. Again, is he serious?
    Here's what the back of "the guide" says:

    This book is not an open pass for infidelity and fornication. It is truly a real life guide. Men are leaving the wife/girlfriend at home and going out in public with the woman on the side. Men are forgetting that the women on the side are expendable pieces of recreation that should be used for temporary physical, mental, or financial gain. The key word in that sentence is temporary!!!!

    Women on the side hold the same value as a complicated video game. It's fun to play and it may involve some time but when it's all said and done, you can always turn the **** thing off and go back to real life. This book will teach you how to maintain your home life and how to play in the streets. Women know we cheat!!!! This is not some new profound thing. It's how you do it! There are rules to this game. After reading this book, you will be either a better cheater, well informed or a committed man!!!Am I crazy or is this crazy? Women on the side hold the same value as a video game? My question, which wasn't answered as I flipped through "the guide" is why maintain a home life at all? I mean, honestly, why have a wifey if you go to such great lengths to play in the streets?

    In his introduction, Kurin uses a few sentences to place a disclaimer that cheating is wrong. He also says that he could have written a book about staying faithful but he doesn't know anything about that subject.

    Among other things, he provides a comprehensive breakdown of the types of women out there. And apparently there are only sixteen different types including: The Good Girl, Thug Girl, Church Girl, The Abused Woman, The City Chick, Full-Figured Women...shall I go on?

    Kurin devotes discussion to safe sex (but do we wonder why HIV/AIDS in the African American community is spreading like wildfire with our attitudes towards monogamy?). His advice to avoid unprotected sex? Always bring 3 condoms with you when you see the woman on the side.

    He also sprinkles the book with notes like: Please keep a bar of the soap that you use at home in your car. You cannot go home smelling like a different fragrance. Women pay attention to things like that.

    In his acknowledgments, Kurin gives a shout-out to his ex-wife. He apologizes to her for all of the crap he put her through and thanks her for always having his back.

    All I want to know is: have male/female relationships gotten so bad that we have guides that teach us how to cheat, lie, and mistreat one another? Why do we treat those who we claim to care about like crap? And then celebrate it like it's cool?

    After spending nearly 180 pages on how to cheat and get away with it, Kurin ends the book with a section called "My Thoughts," where he writes, "I wrote this whole book to come to the end and tell you to stop cheating!" He also shares his personal experiences of messing up with wifey and how he regrets it. By this time, 180 pages later, it's a little too late. An expanded version of "My Thoughts" would have been a much better book.

    Reader Comments
    (Page 1)
    1. This is one of those prime examples of the saying "ignorance is bliss". I mean, really, how much blame can you place on a person who is intellectually stupid and so happy about it that they take pen to paper to actually write a book in detail about it?

    Robbie Rob at 2:19PM on May 7th 2007

    2. This is ridiculous. As a black woman, I am appalled that such a "reference guide" even exists. What happend to a book entitled "The blackman's guide on how to maintain a healthy relationship?" The book mentioned above can be summed up very simply, If you are not happy or satisfied in you relationship, you should work on it or leave it alone. Period end of the story. What is the point of wasting eachother's time and leading eachother on? There are too many diseases out there these days to play these stupid games. My Brothers check your Aids Stats before you check out this book.

    Sayimfoxy at 3:47PM on May 7th 2007

    3. I can't believe this. Why write a book about cheatin if you admitt that you messed up your own relationship and regretted it? It's passing on bad advice. What men need to realize is that they will get caught one way or another and will it be worth it? I also wonder why try to maintain a real relationship if you are interested in being with other people? Obviously they want their cake and it it too. It would bother a man to find out that his woman was messing around with another man behind his back but sometimes that's what it takes for men to realize how much it can hurt.

    Khia at 4:19PM on May 7th 2007

    4. Words directly from the gates of Hades. We have dysfunctional relationships because the society encourages cheating and lies! Girls night out leads to alcohol and dancing with other people. Aggressive girls can make passive girls lesbians or they can make them cheat. An angry man can get revenge inside the home by beating his woman up sexually or he can seek new partners. The problem is anger. That's why people cheat. It's a matter of self-survival. There is nothing wrong with looking for another partner, but if you are still angry a new one isn't going to work either. A woman is much better at hiding her feelings and her infidelity. The man is always the last to know and that's why he explodes. Words of wisdom from Hell, but I'm not angry or cheating.

    Cecil Jones at 4:45PM on May 7th 2007

    5. The publisher obviously was played by a woman and is still upset. So this is his way of payback. Remember whats goes around comes around!!!

    Tracy Wright at 10:34PM on May 7th 2007

    6. This is about as stupid, as OJ's book, 'if I did kill her, here is how I did it'... Sadly, this person, has set the male population back.

    I press at 2:05AM on May 8th 2007

    7. dumb,dumb,dumb

    Geri at 11:22AM on May 8th 2007

    8. You must really hate yourself. The bible tells us to love our wives as we love ourselves. Cheating on your wife is cheating on yourself. I know that cheating on your wife is not the only thoght that you have or the only subject that you know about. You won't get my hard earned dollars. You really just made me think even more about my wife becasue there are people out there like you who are on the prowl. i will love my wife even more now.

    Larry Goines at 6:54AM on May 12th 2007

    9. Wow!!! I many be castrated for this comment but I think that this book is fine. Most men get caught cheating for the stupidest reasons. Disrupting the lives of there families that they formed themselves. The wives or girlfriends have to uproot there children to most times move back home to mommy because he can't keep his eyes and hands to himself. Most women unless your that special brand don't want to know wants to keep it ignorance of believing her home is safe. That she doesn't have to take care of those children by herself. Knowing that she would if he leaves her. To many men can't or won't pay child support. I've seen Maury those women have proof but unless they see there husbands with another female they believe that he isn't cheating so for those women who wants to live in that fantasy world I'm glad that book is out there.

    Amber Chase at 7:10AM on May 12th 2007

    10. It is sad when all our black men can do is sit around and think about how to mistreat a wowoman (any woman for that matter). Reguardless to what this man say at the end of this book, are some men who brought this book just to get the cheating details. Since there are only sixteen types of women, witch one is his mother? Wonder what she had to say bout this piece of junk.My thought is if he truely had a good woman he wouldnt feel the need to look else where by any means. Why go through so much for the the woman on the side if she is like a video game? Kind stupid if you ask me. Seems to me this man a played his last woman couse after this book no woman in her right mind (or that has anything)will what him in her life to tare her down. This book makes it hard on OUR BLACK MEN. There are some out there that want JUST ONE WOMAN.

    Peaches at 7:28AM on May 12th 2007

    11. Black poeples lets just stop it cheating is a hurting
    thing for both men and women. I wish we as black peoples
    would stop thanking bad is ok. It is not.That is one of
    the reason we can't keep what we acheive in life always
    letting the Devil get the best of us.

    Melissa Robinson at 7:40AM on May 12th 2007

    12. That's just what the black community needs. A book to instruct men on how to disrespect women. I've always thought that if SOME of our men spent as much time and energy doing something really positive as they do trying to get over, our communities would really thrive. I wonder too what category the author's mother fits in. If some men would treat women like they would want another man to treat their mother or sister, imagine what it would do for relationships and the black family.

    Frances at 8:04AM on May 12th 2007

    13. This goes to show you that the black community will never be united like other ethinic groups. We to busy tearing down the family or trying to get over. This is one reason why we are not accepted in the white mans world because we have no respect for ourselves. Aids is spreading among the black community rapidly. The spanish community is taking over all the jobs--they are the #1 moniorty. This is a stupid book. If a man is stupid enough to read and follow this book then he is less than a man. Men don't need no book on how to behave naturally.

    STACY at 8:17AM on May 12th 2007

    14. The Bible actually says love your wife as Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church so much that he sacrificed himself so that we might have a chance at eternal life. Men should have this same devotion to their wives. Knowing there is a book promoting cheating, lying, and deception further lets me know that the end is near. Satan is trying any means necessary to turn people from God!

    Ms. Indiana at 8:24AM on May 12th 2007

    15. The state of Black love has declined dramatically over the past decade. I am tired of these men and there disloyality and for lack of a better way to express it "dumb ***" ideology. But, what really gets me is when the so called "brothas" encounters a successful and attractive sista out having a good time on the arm of someone of a different race; they are ready to THROW DOWN! I have one piece of advise (my brothas) come correct are get left. Because the White man is after YOUR goodies and YOU are making it very easy for them.

    Katrina at 8:26AM on May 12th 2007