Poetry Critiques : The bird and the lonely man

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by moham, Nov 10, 2006.

  1. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Lonely man
    Found himself a bird one day.

    Thrilled about the sweet sound of her song
    he caught her and locked her in a cage.

    She wasn’t sad cause she could still her song she thought.
    Never dreaming she would be unfree this long.

    Lonely man turned scared
    cause she might fly away one day.
    So he didn’t let her out no more
    he closed every window and locked every door.

    Now little bird is lonely and blue because she misses the sky
    But even though she doesn’t sing anymore, lonely man just can’t say goodbye.
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    U expressed captivity so well here
    this piece rings a note to live by
    keep it as it is no changes needed.

    Very nice
     
  3. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Yes, this one was very well expressed...very light...not dark and gloomy...just matter of factly.

    Good scribe, poet. Good scribe.

    :toast:
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    awesome scribe backing this one up again
     
  5. Scry'be

    Scry'be Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i have to agree with Brotha Rich...i did enjoy this one sir!
     
  6. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks so much y'all!
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    most welcome do continue to bless us with such awesome creativity
     
  8. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks (again:)) for the beautiful compliment, Rich!
     
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