Poetry Critiques : The 3rd Man

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by 1poetsought, Jan 27, 2005.

  1. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The 3rd Man
    ___________

    No you didn't

    Go out like that

    Educated

    Mind intact

    Long division

    How we living

    With you dissin'

    All that's BLACK

    Third planet from the sun

    Third person African

    Bread leavened

    In season

    Deceived

    By your own attack ~



    Darryl Abdu Omari
    aka 1poetsought ~ copyright 2005
     
  2. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    right 1poetsought...thanks bruh for being the 1st man in this instance....
    your style is unique in the sense that you say a lot...with saying very little
    i took this poem as talking bout the man....the third man in this poem...
    your word choice was perfect and i liked the ebonics use of dissin...it help convey where this poem was coming from...from the view point of a black man...
    i wouldn't change a thing on this one poet...i love it the way it is...bravo!

    one love
    khasm
     
  3. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :read: hey brotha 1poet...I remember seeing this in the other forum...

    and I cant think of anything that I would want to change on it.

    All your writing has your signature style to it...

    for me personally I took it from it the same as brotha Khasm did...

    Is that what you were aiming for? I really enjoy it just as it is.
     
  4. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Poet Sought I thought this piece was a very straightforward and interesting way to expose Uncle Toms and Tomettes.

    I also think that structure of the poem also shows the shallowness of Uncle Tom and Dem. Uncle Tom lacks any depth, so why give him complex and deep stanzas?

    However you did not really give a clear indicator of who the third Man was, so if I am wrong about it being an Uncle Tom (Please Don't Shoot :)
     
  5. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey 1Poet,

    I have always enjoyed your work. I think this was written well and gets your point across how you posed it.To me it tells the veiw point of a black man and how he see the world in his eyes.


    Peace
    Angel
     
  6. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for your input, I am honored to have had the pleasure of such company.
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    man this was on point and real
    this poem stands up and i wouldn't change a thing
     
  8. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Still A Man

    For as long as a man draws breath he can atone.

    :SuN031:
     
  9. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Pluses to you poet
     
  10. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Know, you didn't ~ Thanks, everyone.

    PEACE and BLESSINGS