Black Jokes Humor : thanks destee

Discussion in 'Black Jokes Humor' started by Alkebulan, Sep 13, 2002.

  1. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2002
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    8
    Occupation:
    slacker
    Location:
    boringham, alabama
    Ratings:
    +8
    the cucumber incident....

    alice was becoming frustrated by her husband's insistence that they make love n the dark. hoping to free him of his
    inhibitions, she flipped on her reading lamp one passionate night -- only to find a cucumber n his hand.
    "is this", she asked, pointing to the vegetable, "what u've been using on me for the last 5 years?"
    "honey, let me explain..."
    "y, u sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "u impotent son of a -"
    "speaking of sneaky," her husband interjected, "maybe u'd
    like to explain our 3 kids."
     
  2. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2002
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    8
    Occupation:
    slacker
    Location:
    boringham, alabama
    Ratings:
    +8
    beach scene

    a recently widowed jewish lady, called golda, was sitting on a
    florida beach. she looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman
    had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby, and began
    reading a book.

    smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.
    "hello sir, "how are you?"
    "fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
    "i love the beach. do you come here often?" she asked.
    "first time since my wife passed away last year," he replied.
    "do you live around here?" she asked.
    "yes," he answered, continuing to read.
    golda persisted. "do you like ***** cats?"

    with that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto
    hers, whipped off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most
    passionate ride of her life. as the cloud of sand began to settle,
    Golda gasped and asked the man, "how did you know that is what I
    wanted?"

    the man replied, "how did you know my name was katz?
     
  3. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2002
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    8
    Occupation:
    slacker
    Location:
    boringham, alabama
    Ratings:
    +8
    golf joke

    as a young man, norton was an exceptional golfer. at the age of 26, however, he decided to become a priest, & joined a rather peculiar order. he took the usual vows of poverty, chastity, but his order also required that he quit golf & never play again. this was particularly difficult 4 norton, but he agreed & was finally ordained a priest.
    1 sunday morning, the reverend father norton woke up & realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful & sunny early spring day, decided he just had 2 play golf.
    so... he told the associate pastor that he was feeling sick & convinced him 2 say mass 4 him that day. as soon as the associate pastor left the room, father norton headed out of town to a golf course about 40 miles away. this way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet any1 he knew from his parish.
    setting up on the 1st tee, he was alone. after all, it was Sunday morning & every1 else was n church! @ about this time, saint peter leaned over 2 the lord while looking down from the heavens & exclaimed, "u're not going to let him get away w this, r u?"
    the lord sighed, & said, "no, i guess not." just then father norton hit the ball & it shot str8 towards the pole, dropping just short of it, rolled up & fell n2 the hole. it was a 420-yard hole n 1!
    st. peter was astonished. he looked at the lord & asked, "y did u let him do that?"

    the lord smiled & replied, "who is he going to tell?"
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,792
    Likes Received:
    8,985
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,686
    LOL Doc ... these are cute ... :)

    ... and you're very welcome

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2002
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    8
    Occupation:
    slacker
    Location:
    boringham, alabama
    Ratings:
    +8
    bestsellers list

    childrens book titles that didn t catch on (4 som reason)

    1. Yu r different & that's bad
    2. the boy who died from eating all his vegetables
    3. dad's new wife robert
    4. fun 4-letter words 2 know & share
    5. hammers, screwdrivers & scissors: an i-can-do-it book
    6. the kids' guide 2 hitchhiking
    7. kathy was so bad her mom stopped loving her
    8. curious george & the hi-voltage fence
    9. all cats go 2 hell
    10. the little sissy who snitched
    11. some kittens can fly.
    12. that's it, i'm Putting u up 4 adoption
    13. grandpa gets a casket
    14. the magic world inside the abandoned refrigerator
    15. garfield gets feline leukemia
    16. the pop-up book of human anatomy
    17. strangers hv the best candy
    18. whining, kicking & crying 2 get ur way
    19. Yu were an accident
    20. things rich kids hv, but u never will
    21. "pop! goes the hamster" ... & other great microwave games
    22. the man n the moon Is actually satan
    23. ur nightmares r real
    24. where would u like 2 be buried?
    25. eggs, toilet paper, & ur school
    26. y can't Mr. fork & ms. electrical outlet b friends?
    27. daddy drinks b/c u cry
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,792
    Likes Received:
    8,985
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,686
    Doc ... dontcha think each joke should have its own thread, instead of many in one thread?

    :)
     
  7. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2002
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    8
    Occupation:
    slacker
    Location:
    boringham, alabama
    Ratings:
    +8
    sorry

    i m sure ur right. i trust ur experience & judgement n these matters implicitly (& the fact that u also liv n alabama)

    sorry bout that. will do
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,792
    Likes Received:
    8,985
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,686
    ohhhhh no need to apologize ... no harm done at all ... I was just thinking that allowing each joke to stand on its own, allows the responses to it ... to be separated from the responses to other jokes ... all is well ... do it however you'd like Doc ... 'specially since you liv n alabama :)

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    just what i needed a fat laugh !!
    hahahahaha!!!
     
  10. MissPoetik

    MissPoetik Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2002
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    ha ha!!!

    [email protected].. triflin'!
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - thanks destee
  1. Chinelo
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    439
  2. deepy
    Replies:
    2
    Views:
    979
  3. boycott rap

    Thank You Premium Members : THANKS DESTEE

    Replies:
    2
    Views:
    1,494
  4. MrAdams

    Destee Network : thanks! -destee-

    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    934
  5. Remby
    Replies:
    2
    Views:
    1,130