Black People : Taking A Break Family

I am so happy that you had the spirit, the manhood, to make this kind of declaration about what has happened to you, betrayal, is hard to face. But you've faced it, you've manned up! Wow! Man! Props to you, and I hope this same inner power that you have will continue in you to be able to reach out to others that have salt and can help you deal with this betrayal and overcome the pain of such disrespect. I don't what I would do, if this happened to me but I would know that I would need help. Breaking a contract of trust is a dangerous thing though and no matter how much you hurt, I hope you keep going because I believe you will be vindicated.

Nobodies perfect, but breaking contracts of trust, has an end. I feel more sorry for the othr man that moved in on your peace than for you right now, though. Unfortunately, people who don't regard other people with respect will pay a dear price, and no matter what you think you could have done, you cannot have gone back in time and prevented that, so I hope you don't blame yourself for someone else faults. Try to look at the bigger picture, human nature. Continue to hold onto values that make you an humanitarian, and you will get through this, that is my prayer and my hope. Peace.

I guess I'm just hurt so badly because of the betrayal. I had an affair with a married woman when I was 17, but even then it felt so wrong. I ended it and have never been that route again. I just kept wondering how I would feel as her husband if it was me. Sure, it felt good and all, but in the end, it still was wrong no matter how nice it felt. And in my marriage, I had the sense to stop anything before it had a chance to develop, even with a couple members of her family. I would not let anyone get close enough to me if I felt they were trying to have a relationship with me, online and in the real world. It just wasn't worth the outcome of destroying my family over.
And yet, here I am. That's why I have begun to wonder about doing the right thing, even though I know in the end I know I have to continue to do it.
I also know that now, I'm thinking and speaking from a dark place, that things now are clouded by my emotions. It's just that knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less.
 
But the thing is, she loves to drink with her family, having parties 3 & 4 times a week, staying out all hours of night/morning, where I don't drink and would rather stay home or go out to someplace that is decent. It is a very large family, but dysfunctional. Infidelity is a common trait with them, as getting pregnant before 18. I chose to maintain a home with values and morals, and that put me at odds with a majority of them.
So in the end, she found someone more like her and her family, because he fits right in.

my initial reaction Brotha would probably be to side with you just by the fact that you are a member of the Garden. but prudence dictates that my opinions be kept at a minimum because we don't know all the facts. we're only hearing your side.

since you created this thread it seems that you allow your relationship to be an open discussion. for that reason, before we can get to the healing aspect of any such scenario, it would not be unreasonable to point out what may not be wise on your part to do regarding your Queen. the above which I have quoted from you is not appropriate for a Brotha who wants to move forward in peace. if you and your Queen had some difficulties, the first rule we should all remember is to be able to step away without throwing dirt on our ex's. especially the Queen.

I don't know you but when you're throwing spitballs at the Motha of your children, this really makes me wanna hear your Queen's side of the story. what will she say about you all's situation? how will the narrative be modified from what you're telling the council? will she paint YOU as the one who violated the sacredness of the relationship?

the bottom line is this my dear Brotha: there's nothing wrong with soliciting for people to comfort you in these challenging moments. but again, prudence, would dictate that all the facts from all interested parties be presented before any type of advice and or emotional commitments be offered. how can one offer you the appropriate emotions when one hasn't obtained first-hand accounts from all involved?

it's never a right place to receive sympathy at the expense of dogging your children's Motha out. that's unbecoming of great men like you and me.
 
my God...
my brother can't even get some ish off his chest without frickin herbs coming out the
dumpster on him...smh

totally not cool...but this is in line with ur wack @ss mentality...smh

disregard the above post brother kamau...and i wish u healing from this major bump in life...im pretty sure ur shorties know the real deal...and if not, they will when they get older and see life for themselves...

one love
khasm
 
my God...
my brother can't even get some ish off his chest without frickin herbs coming out the
dumpster on him...smh

totally not cool...but this is in line with ur wack @ss mentality...smh

disregard the above post brother kamau...and i wish u healing from this major bump in life...im pretty sure ur shorties know the real deal...and if not, they will when they get older and see life for themselves...

one love
khasm


I had to dump my ignore list to see who you were talking about....then quickly went back after seeing the name.

I know where Bro Kamau is coming from and brother if you read this is hope the best for you. I feel you...I really do because I dealt with similar betrayal but you have invested more time in your relationship.

I also once was in a relationship with a woman who was older, separated not divorced from her husband, and had to let it go because it did not seem right as long as that ink was not dry on her divorce.

Stay strong and perhaps you do need to take a break from here. I do so periodically to get my head right because some here can be much more insensitive than the ones who betray us.
 
I am trying, believe me.
But for right now, it just hurts so badly. I literally feel like my tomorrow is gone. I know I will survive and get through this, but for right now, it just hurts.

Believe me I feel you. This feeling is just like death. Just know things will get better, I know. Its hard for those who've never experienced the depth of the hurt you're feeling right now. So many here are expressing wishes that you hold on and know that the higher power you serve can bring you peace and solace during this trying time
Love and Hugs!

PS. Talking to someone you trust can really be healing. Don't close out friends and family who will just listen....this will help alot.
 

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