Quiet Poetry Lounge : Suspicious Stains (an epic)


Well-Known Member
Jan 30, 2001
The rush hour rushes
Cars and pedestrians
Taxicabs and buses

From today's troubles
I will soon be relieved
As I sit at the light
Eating a fish sandwich with cheese

A hard thing to do
Manuvering the paper from the sandwich
Need one hand on the wheel
For its the traffic I must watch
Oh ****!!!
Some tartur sauce
Dropped in my crotch

Reaching for a napkin
Of course none can be found
There's some in the glove box
From when I last went out of town

With no thought to the composition of tartur sauce
I used a Long John Silver's napkin
To wipe it all off
That irony was overshadowed
By me making a cardinal sin
In wiping it off
I just smeared it all in

What the hell did I do?
I made it worse
Now I've got to go home
Got to think fast
I'll be there soon
Let me pull into this gas station
And find the men's room

Cold water with a paper towel
That should get it out
It will look all wet for a minute or two
What other choice did I have
What else could I do?

Back in the car
Windows open
A/C blowin to the max
This will be dry soon
Then I can relax

But no...not me
I don't have that kind of Karma
When I got out of the car
There was more of this drama

Looking down to check
Knowing none of the sauce remained
I yelled "****" when I discovered
Not only was the spot still showing
Around it was a tell-tale water stain

Right at the location
Where a woman's imagination and curiosity
Forces her eye
It looked like I'm a man of great blessings
Who had a sexual expression
Seen at the middle of my thigh

How the hell will I explain this ****
What story would work
What story would fit
Even though what really happened
Is the truth
Is legit

Wish I had some shorts in the car
Not that lucky
But oh how I wish
Any story about the stains
Is made more complicated
By the smell of fish...Hummm

No one is home
I can sneak in
Change my pants
This I can do
If I'm all alone

Yes, Yes, Yes!
It worked out that way
Just one of God's blessings
He graced me with that day



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