Black Women : Strong Black Women vs Black Women

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by ru2religious, Apr 2, 2011.

  1. ru2religious

    ru2religious Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was thinking about this based on a discussion I heard at work yesterday. What I saw was two sistas having a discussion about being strong black women and as I analyzed their discussion and how they approached the topic I saw a clear difference between the two.

    One of the sistas is extremely loud and very argumentative while the other sista was much more soft spoken and not so argumentative.

    I learned so much in watching these two have their discussion and saw a clear difference between which was a black woman and which was a strong black woman.

    See a strong black woman is under the illusion that she needs a strong black man but what she really wants is an extremely passive man, one who she can control. She at times want the same things as a black woman such as financial security from a man and so forth but his extremely passive behavior allows her to be what she is; controlling. A lot of these strong black women are totally independent - own companies, very powerful business women. Then there are those who are simply independent without being business owners or powerful business women. These women are so independent that they are oblivious to the fact that they don't know how to be in a relationship because relationships requires interacting; a skill that a lot of these strong black women do not posses. This is what drives off many black men.

    A black woman on the other hand wants the strong black man, one who will take charge and handle his business as a man. A black woman finds no pleasure in wanting to fight for supremacy within the relationship yet she knows how to stand up for what she believes in and picks a man who will respect that. Black women understand the importance of relating in a relationship and do not pick men who do not!!! They understand the give and get rule and are willing to work with their partner in terms of getting the desired results from the relationship. Black women are by no means weak, they just simply knows what it takes to make a relationship work.

    A strong black woman on the other hand is ready to fight before there is cause to fight when she feels that her control is in jeopardy. She goes into a relationship with the constant thought "I wish he would" while a black woman doesn't have that issue. She has to show the man that she is the boss yet she has a self sustaining illusion of proclaiming that she doesn't want no weak black man.

    Strong black women are under the illusion that black men can't handle their strength so they preach a message that explains why the black man run to the white woman which is "he can't handle a strong black women so he has to run to the weak white woman". The illusion is that they think that their strength pushed him away because of his weakness - when its quite the opposite, it is her weak ability to interact with the strong black man that pushes him away. Black men is looking for the love in a woman that his mother gave him which is something extremely hard for independent strong black women to do.

    Strong black women are constantly in fight mode - having to fight to be treated equal in the labor world, fighting to be heard, fight for this and fighting for that so when a black man appears she's ready to fight him too.

    Please note: we are not talking about angry black women - who have been hurt by men and so forth - so please don't get the two confused.

    The black woman do not concern herself with such illusions as 'black men are weak', 'black men can't hand a strong black women', 'black men ain't sh#@' because she self made, secure and knows how to draw and keep a strong black man. A black woman don't want to control her man, she wants to love her man and she expect the same in return which is why she pays more attention to who she is because she knows by knowing herself she knows what she's looking for in a man. Black women draw black men to them without even trying - which is why its so important to understand herself because it will prevent her from becoming and angry black woman - picking men who do not share her interest but picking men who she think is physically attractive and so forth.

    I've come to the conclusion that black men do not like strong black women because they are hard to interact with based on the idea that they are to independent which is a weakness because it stops them from being able to co-relate in a relationship. The term strong black women is good for us brothas because we know who to stay away from. We don't want weak woman and that's why we love our black women because they are not weak - they just do go around calling themselves strong. No other women on this planet do that, I've never heard a white woman identify herself as 'a strong white women' ...

    This is all an opinion based on my observations between the interactions of brothas and sistas, chats, forums, and the events that happen around me. Watching those two sistas talk show me the difference. Here's the kicker - both of these women are very attractive but the soft spoken sista is the one that all the brothas are fighting to get - even though the self proclaimed strong black woman is even more attractive physically then the soft spoken woman - the thugs and players are after her while the good brothas are after the soft spoken sister.

    I think the thugs and players go for the strong black women because they want to break them down turning them into angry black women.



    Peace and Blessings




    Ru2religious
     
  2. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good topic...I'll be back to discuss this after my errands
     
  3. TXDiamond

    TXDiamond Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel that the Black woman who is able to support her man-- without trying to overpower him-- is the strong one. She does not have to prove she is a strong woman. She shows her strength through her meekness and by the way she stands by her family. Yes, she has a mind of her own and can be successful at what she does; however, she does not have to degrade her man in order to prove she is strong. A strong woman stick in there and supports her man through the good and the bad (not to say she should stay if he is abusive).

    The Black woman who wants to overpower her man seems to be the one with the insecurities and weaknesses.
     
  4. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Does this have something to do with Shaherazad Ali?
     
  5. Proverbs31Woman

    Proverbs31Woman Be kinder than necessary! MEMBER

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    I agree, especially, as it relates to meekness. Respect and honor should rise above being right and methodical. In many situations, I see women who feel they are right or have a better way to execute and will fight with their men till the end, all in the name of being right. It takes strength to be right or have a great idea, but choose to give her man the advantage and honor his decision or idea. As well as having knowledge about different things, but rather than laying it all on the table, you allow your man to shine..there is a time and a place to lay your cards out on the table OR hold back and let you man lead the deck..being reserved will attract him to want to know more.

    I don't think it's relevant to be labed a strong black woman, as I know what is strength if often times viewed as weakness in the eyes of a surface dweller. Iit's not really important for everyone to know how strong I am, there's nothing to prove. I imagine that many women lay it all out to show themselves apart from the bunch, not realizing they are creating a barrier to finding the good man that would appreciate her.

    Great post!
     
  6. ru2religious

    ru2religious Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The thing is to decipher what is a strong woman from the disillusion strong woman. Our women are naturally strong - I love that about our women but what I don't like is those who feel that they have to act a certain way toward us aka black men in order to prove their strength which is actually their weakness.

    I agree with all post up to this point - and one poster pointed out what I was actually implying - a strong woman is one who loves her man and most importantly KNOWS HOW TO RECEIVE LOVE from a black man because she took the time out to learn what she likes and dislikes which will be a reflected in her choice of men.

    I'm a good brotha but she may not choose me and I'm okay with that because I know she knows what's best for her and all I could do is have nothing but respect for her and her decision. Two good people making one bad decision can be a bad wreck and create misguided opinions about each others true nature.

    This topic is about taking away the 'I'm strong black woman' and finding the real strong black women who act it verse talk it. Its about learning who is insecure and weak and learning how to find a woman that will show and give a man the love and attention he desire but more importantly needs.

    No other woman on this planet say it but ours - such a statement shows the weakness within our people. Its like a guy telling another man I can kick your butt - but cant bust a grape in a major food fight. The man not talking is usually the man doing the walking. The women not talking is usually the ones doing the walking.

    I just found it interesting that the one doing all of the I'm a strong black woman out of the two women was the one that showed the weakness.


    Peace and Blessings



    Ru2religious
     
  7. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    She doesn't have to be a "strong black woman" to have that thought process of other black men.
     
  8. ru2religious

    ru2religious Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What goes on in the mind of our sistas is what goes on - I would be more then foolish to sit here and try to speak on that. The point that really stood out to me in my observations is that the so-called strong black woman doesn't want a strong black man - these two would clash consistently - there is no balance in such a relationship.

    The strong black woman needs a very passive brotha who she can exert her power over. She needs a brotha that doesn't have a problem with nothing she does which is to say - he knows how to handle her or be in a relationship with her. That's why you hear those women say "I need a man who knows how to handle me". This brotha knows how to handle her which means he's not supposed to be able to handle her - he has no back-bone, thoughts or opinions. Her thoughts become his thoughts, her food choices becomes her food choices, her religious belief becomes his religious beliefs and so forth. She needs this type of brotha who can handle her which is to say - live with her controlling insecure and argumentative ways.

    Remember the real strong black woman doesn't go around shouting it out - being argumentative, controlling and so forth - the real strong black woman is the 'black woman'. I'm addressing those women who yell loud but ain't saying nothing - she thinks they are too strong for black men and thus black men run to white women because he needs a docile woman or a woman with no back bone.

    Such theories these women hold are foolish in and of its self. Black men in general are strong - so for a black man who's in the face of a woman whom he has to fight with just to be a man, he will walk away from and personally I think he should run away from. The issue is - when a so-called strong black woman is faced with a strong black man she runs him away not because of her strength - but because of her weaknesses. It takes strong black men to walk away from such women in reality because a weak black man will become enslaved to her controlling ways. So when a strong black man walks away from a supposed strong black women - he's not weak which these so-called strong black women preach in the streets - he's actually strong and he will look for a real strong black woman.

    Some brothas may have tried a few times to fine that real strong black woman but became so discouraged that they just said forget it and went to the other side. These brothas wasn't looking hard enough or didn't know what they were truly looking for.

    NOW FOR SOMETHING AMAZING -

    A friend of mine came over yesterday as I was writing my second comment on this thread. This brotha is about to marry a white woman in June of this year. He asked me if he could read what I was writing because I've spoken to him before on this subject - but he wanted to read the comments that came from what I posted. He loved what I had wrote - but he was dumbfounded by what some of the sistas in this thread wrote - and the first thing he said:

    "Where were these women at when I was looking for a good sista"


    He had such a smile on his face that it was overbearing - it leaked over to me and had me smiling just from his reaction. Nevertheless, he went back to the "well where is your good black sistas" and I told him she's waiting for me as I'm waiting for her - its just a matter of time before we cross paths. So I want to say thank you to my sistas who posted on this thread - you showed this brotha something that he had never seen before:thanks:


    Peace and Blessings




    Ru2religious
     
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