Black Women : STRONG BLACK WOMAN, HAVE YOU GONE TOO FAR???

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by Isaiah, Nov 23, 2004.

  1. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Observing African women in relationships with their children, families, and with their men, it is clear that they take this particular imagery and perception of themselves as strong quite seriously... Looking at history, and what that history required of African women, I quite understand it in that context, and I, also, understand it in the context of passing the teaching on to the next generations...

    However, I am beginning to feel that, like anything, Strong Black Woman has become an extreme, where African women are playing out a role they are pretty tired of playing... It's sort of like being a hard-*** brother, or a New York Italian whose not comfortable with the imagery that says he's a mafia family member... Some people are comfortable in these roles, and the imagery that it affords them... Some are not, true dat?

    Wanting to hear from some sisters who feel that being STRONG BLACK WOMAN has become passe, is now anachronisic, needs some refining, is still necessary, or NOT... Sisters, what are your opinions on this issue???

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  2. kbanks

    kbanks Member MEMBER

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    I don't believe the term is passe or gone to far. It is black women who have practically raised this generation of children whether they are in rags or riches. We receive the same discrimanatory attitudes and practices that our brothers do, and the media subliminally devalues the importance of black women. The media also has a field day, programming our men and women to believe that a successful union with each other is impossible and much more likely to work out if the black man were to date outside of his race, due to the "black woman's attitude"

    The theme in today's media is to replace the black woman by having other women copy her style and appearance. First it must be mocked and unattractive on a black woman, copied by other woman, than accepted.

    Perfect example of typical brainwash is to make the black woman ashamed of being creative in hairstyles whether wearing weave, hair peices, braids etc. It is deemed as "ghetto" or less than beautiful. However it has been perfectly acceptable for woman to have plastic boobs, lips, butts, noses, and too have spray on skin color. The surgeries can cost 1,000's of dollars and be dangerous to ones health, not to mention unnatural, but it is accepted. But a sistah can't wear a hair peice.

    Black woman are even stronger today than ever. With brothers running every which way but loose, and not only disrespecting sisters, but allowing sisters to be disrespected--WE STILL RISE!!! Even if our skin is practically hanging off our bones, we're still up for the good fight.

    Tell me, for all those other women who seem to understand the brother so well as they say instead of sisters, were these women around or did they even care when it was usually the brother's mother who gave them life and made sure they could grow up and enjoy it!

    I'd like to see a response from you regarding the strong black man. No bashing on my part, (because I know there are still some good ones out there, however I'm just curious as to why so many brothers believe they are the still the strongest and in this day, most feared on the planet> I can see them fearing each other because of what our younger generation is doing to each other, but what makes them strong and the most feared now.

    Much love
     
  3. IntuitioninMD

    IntuitioninMD Banned MEMBER

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    BOTTOMLINE.... REAL MEN NEED TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE.

    Unfortunately -- Black women have had to be both... Man and Woman... to keep the families going... and together as much as possible.

    It is not that... Black Women - woke up one morning and decided that they would like to walk in the same shoes as MEN.... but... we are not going to just fall to the side and use slavery as the constant excuse not to do what we need to do and what we are suppose to do.. as women and .. for our people....

    As a Strong Black WOman myself--- it would be nice... if I could.. be the house wife.. that shops all day... -- but that is not our reality....

    IS IT.....
     
  4. ASHANTA

    ASHANTA Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    To Be A Black Woman

    This strikes me as an interesting topic;
    coming from a brother, my brother the
    image of strong black women has been banded,
    lets take the term strong black women.
    The concept of strong black women;
    began during the struggles of the 18th century.
    And maybe before then, today many black
    women uses this term as sex , ego, power.
    When using the term unity; it has complicated
    the true source of completion.
    Being a black women my self,
    I find that many sisters have completely reverse the terms
    Of unity to anything goes. They have closed
    out anything that will keep the flow
    Of the strength of black women;
    I find that their views are so far fetch, any attempt
    To formulate has been dis- regarded.

    The mastery of self has been eliminated,
    there are many strong sister’s out their,
    But fame is their most common objective;
    rather than family, spirituality, as well as
    self pride. The drawing powers of the mind;
    has been deleted in this world order;

    I guess it starts back with the concept
    of Willie Lynch "To Breed A Slave".
    I find in the 21st century it has become a fact;
    that the obstacles of unity ;
    is no longer persistent to the cause of traditions.

    One might as what is strong black women,
    my concept of strong black women from
    the ancestor who carried the torch to
    bring their roots of assistance to a promenade cause.
    Women of Integrity, the temple of sisterhood,
    finding of principal, the school of life,
    the drawing power of the mind,
    education absorptions, the servant are the master.

    Every women a Queen; Women become
    what they think, I find that the elders;
    who have formulated a toxin that
    has been retrieved to serve the master without a whip.
    Mental law of habit. Success and power,
    acquirement of spiritual power.
    Simplicity and freedom, to restore
    their family roots at any cost.
    It is impossible to be free when
    women are insecure of self.

    Many have conquer the degrees of education,
    nevertheless it sometimes appears,
    that many who refuse to educate self;
    common sense of law, one cannot retrieve
    memories if both are not bonded as one,
    it participate in the hating of those who
    Have a solution, but not retrieved; by those,
    who are intimated by those who may not;
    to bring unity to those who seek; the knowledge of wisdom.
    Wisdom of women is more than education,
    the understanding to descent human life.

    Implementing sources of humanity;
    through the human kindness, deleted
    who’s imitations of power’s for man’s sake,
    Sub commingling to bitterness;
    will be slapped by self with one’s own hands.
    Violence characterized to seek, and humiliate,
    to embrace friendship and understandings
    implementing the demands of justice moral responsibility.
    Justice that stands against love.

    Ego the death to men and women,
    jealousy that drips from the fountain of un fogginess.
    Jealousy the seventh deadly sin.
    Man was born in the image of God, Women who
    Was bless with wisdom; nevertheless
    many who don’t know their rightful place.
    To lead as a warrior one must remember
    that it is not for self, but the completion as one.
    There is no chiefs in the knowledge of wisdom,
    God is wisdom and man is nothing;
    Without the Father who breathes breath upon their thrust.

    The comp active philosophies of women,
    who feel that they must compete with man,
    Nevertheless man who may crawl in the
    ghetto and when he decides to reach up.
    He shall be still man, women who seeks
    the compositeness of a whore, nevertheless
    Man continues to bleed the strength
    of some women, who are starved for love.
    Dis regarding her obligations to God,
    the closes to God the womb that incubates
    The cloning of nations; the nurturers of God.


    The collectives responsibility of women have been frown upon;
    By man as well as God, betrayal of family, and the toxins
    Of forgiving living love, if women commits treason to self,
    The nurturers of self, how can they cry ;
    a revolution when the roots
    Are killed by self, there is no unity for
    those who choose self death,
    Nevertheless it is man are women,
    the children shall feel the pain.
    Accountability mother the responsibility to God.

    The Goodness of the heart; fears changes,
    status Quoa of visbilities,
    different according to higher loyality, social,
    respectability, mis guidance of woman;
    viality that keeps life breathing.
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Excellent post Ashanta!
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very well said sista ASHANTA
     
  7. IntuitioninMD

    IntuitioninMD Banned MEMBER

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    I think it is more simple than that...

    To be a strong Black WOman is to simply
    NOT GIVE UP --- EVEN WHEN THE
    BLACK MAN HAS CONSTANTLY LET YOU DOWN.

    The strongest ones... like Wild ANimals
    understand the need to leave the ones
    behind that will keep you back
    and ultimately kill the entire family.

    The strong Black woman has transformed.
    The reason the term... STRONG BLACK WOMAN
    STILL EXIST... IS BECAUSE OF THE PRESENCE
    AND PROOF OF THE WEAK BLACK MAN

    WE NEED TO FOCUS ON... WHAT IS A WEAK BLACK MAN?
    LIGHT CAN BE DEFINED BY DARKNESS
    AND DARKNESS CAN BE DEFINED BY LIGHT
    YOU CANNOT HAVE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER.

    COMMON SENSE SAYS... TO BE STRONG..... EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE.
     
  8. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Personally, I believe the concept of "strong Black woman" is over-rated and has been romanticized over the years to describe Black women and many of us have bought into the BS. "Strong Black Woman" has become a mantra and a sick form of some sort of badge of honor and frankly, I think because most Black women BELIEVE that they have to be strong ALL the time, it's killing us slowly.

    Who in their right mind wants to walk around proudly and with heads held high because you can survive some of the worst struggles known to man that are constantly in your face without an end in sight? Who wants to constantly pray for strength and be denied other real human qualities such as wanting to lean on someone else to help you when times get unbearably hard? Don't Black women yearn for and deserve some pampering and nurturing too?

    Black women aren't SUPER WOMEN who can take anything society chooses to dish at them and they shouldn't have to be viewed this way or perpetually labeled because she has the guts and constitution that holds up in the face of conflict and life threatening situations.

    Why do Black women take pride in being called "strong"? Why do we accept this man-made notion and job assignment given to us by a bunch of racists? Just because Black women are resilient, have fortitude and are long suffering--that makes us something to marvel at like we're aliens?

    Do modern-day Black women have a clue as to what Sojourner Truth really meant when she asked the question, "ain't I a woman?" From where do Black women get their support and feelings soothed when she feels broken and hurt? Who, beside herself is there to wipe her tears when she's afraid and don't know all the answers or what to do? Why do Black women have to be subjected to societal ignorance and become invisible among other women and treated as though she's undeserving of any type of empathy or help? Why do Black women themselves believe she can't or shouldn't ask for help because if she does, she's not a true Black woman? Why does she think that if she shows that she feels pain that she's weak?

    No, don't call me a 'lady' and don't call me a 'strong Black woman'. I am who I am and all that I pray for is the courage to be honest with myself and embrace my strengths but also to respect my vulnerabilities. Black women should spring FREE of the 'superwoman' trap. Honor our own needs and overcome any addiction to approval. We should give ourselves permission to nurture others because we want to and not because society tries to dictate that we should. Black women should give themselves permission to savor the mystery of spirit and wave goodbye to guilt. We're human and we deserve the right to to just "be".

    Thank you Brother Isaiah for this topic!

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  9. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Wow, I certainly respect your right to an opinion but your sense of why Black women are deemed to be strong is unfair to Black men in general and very shallow at best. The "simple" that you see is hopefully not the common belief among our people. To raise UP the Black woman while tearing down the Black man is counter-productive in my opinion. Why do this? What purpose does it serve and how is this something to be proud of? *smh* Please don't be offended but you need to get a grip on reality and broaden your perspective a bit. I think you owe an apology to Black men in general because ALL Black men are not as you describe them to be and if you can't see that now, just live long enough because the time will come when you will...hopefully.

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  10. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Queenie, I am afraid that if I praise you to the high heavens, I come off sounding like one of those white conservatives who praise the Shelby Steele/Thomas Sowell/Clarence Thomas/Ward Connerly Negro NeoCons for agreeing with them(smile!) But I will say that you captured the spirit of my tersely worded post to the tee...

    You see, I see sisters as having proven to the very universe their strength, but to prove only how strong you are is, in itself, an imbalance of the soul which the body, ultimately, cannot withstand... We may not see the impact of the effects of this kind of stressful imbalance on the surface, but perhaps it manifests itself in Uterine Fibroids or High Pertension, and Diabetes... What we are on the inside will always manifest itself in some form or fashion... This I learned from a powerful sister, Dr. Jewell Pookrum, who developed lung cancer though she did not smoke nor drink, and was the head of both the gynecology and pediatrics departments at a major medical facility in Detroit. She said that she had been so strong for so long, and had taken on the added role of being to White people their concept of what a Black Woman should be, that she began to manifest these stresses with disease and ill health.

    Dr. Pookrum recovered from her disease and ill-health by BEING herself, as you said, Queenie... She stopped being so strong, and so polished and refined, and let herself be the African woman she was born to be... Your words about African women allowing themselves to be vulnerable, and feel those unique things a woman feels, appears to me, at times, to be closed off to them - by Black women, themselves! That is why I asked the question, because my experience with sisters is that oft I wish they'd simply relax, let their guard down, ease on up, and enjoy themselves... Be who YOU want to be, and not what Black man or White man perceives you to be...

    If you decide that being Strong Black Woman is your thing, I cannot criticize that, and I wont... But allow yourself to feel, and BE, vulnerable... Allowing yourself the freedom to submit to your weaknesses without recriminations and regrets... The bottom line is that one will never be a COMPLETE human being trying to be strong and hard their entire lives... Experience your softness, sister, and stop blaming the Black man for you having to be so strong...(smile!) Fact is, brothers have a vested interest in you continuing to fulfill that role... Think about that... Thanks for the Monster post, Queenie!

    Peace!
    isaiah
     
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