Black Women : Straight From His Mouth: Why Do Women Settle For Bad Sex In Relationships?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by Liberty, Nov 11, 2015.

  1. Liberty

    Liberty going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    [​IMG]

    Last week I had a conversation with my best friend of the opposite sex, playing catch up and trading stories as we often do. She told me about a friend of hers (we’ll call this friend Vee) and Vee’s latest failed attempt at dating. Vee was dating a guy and things went sour, and while a host of situations led to their eventual demise, the reason my friend and I had been cackling at the highest volumes known to man is because of the question Vee posed during their talk. Vee asked my friend: “would you keep dating a guy if the sex was bad?” to which my friend replied, “you’re asking ME this? ME? The woman who’s stopped dating guys she’s LIKED because the sex was bad?”At this point, laughter turned to tears as I replied, “she must’ve forgotten who she was talking to.” My friend, for as long as I’ve known her, has absolutely refused to be in a relationship with men who couldn’t satisfy her sexually. I thought this was common practice but I later found out that it’s not. So the question posed here is why do women settle for bad sex?

    Read more

    http://madamenoire.com/452193/bad-sex/
     
  2. Liberty

    Liberty going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Female Orgasm May Be Tied to 'Rule of Thumb



    First came the G-spot, then multiple climax and spiritual tantric sex. The modern woman is not only expected to be a good mother and a professional success, but some believe she needs to behave like a porn star in the bedroom.

    So if a simple device could reveal whether a woman is capable of a
    vaginal orgasm, would it take the pressure off heterosexual women to perform?

    New research suggests that a simple measurement -- a "rule of thumb" -- might be the key to the pleasures of
    sexual intercourse.

    About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone -- that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances.


    The Internet is rife with non-orgasmic women who say they are missing out, and statistics suggest that they are a significant group.

    "Maybe my boyfriend and I aren't doing it right or something," one woman wrote on
    WebMD.com. "I don't understand. I feel like less of a woman because I can't have an orgasm and I want to so bad. I feel incomplete sometimes after sex."

    Read more
    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Reprod...orgasm-eludes-majority-women/story?id=8485289
     
  3. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    NOT TO SOUND LIKE I'M AN EXPERT ON THE TOPIC...coz i'm so far from that.

    BUT...

    I could go into the thing about girls having psychological issues around sex, because they were raised to believe that sex was dirty. Or, I could go deeper…saying that most women don’t know their bodies…because they’re ashamed to explore their body. the bottom line is, most women don’t orgasm because they don’t know how to explain to their mate what they need from them. i.e. when asked what they like, most women will say, “what you’re doing is fine,” because they don’t know what they like. Or, again, they don’t know how to explain it. Some women won’t explain because they don’t want the man to feel that he’s inadequate…or that she knows more than he does.

    Most men will claim to be a god at sex…the master of every sexual act known to man. But, actually, men are afraid…every time they have a “first time” with a woman. The thought of not being able to satisfy that woman scares the hell out of them. THAT’S WHY THEY ASK, “what do you like?” The man that’s capable of satisfying the most women…is the man that listens to the woman’s body, as well as her words…if she can verbalize her needs. But there are lazy men out there…men who are stuck on I GOT MINE…YOU BETTA GET YOURS. And, there are lazy women out there, who feel that men are supposed to do everything, while they lay on their backs…doing nothing. THE WET BLANKET as I call them.

    Mutual satisfaction, in bed, comes when both parties are concerned about the pleasure of the other…and work to make it happen. WORK. Sexual intercourse is strenuous exercise that should leave both drained, or exhilarated…both feeling that they’ve had a serious workout. If not, you’re just not doing it right.:)

    TO ANSWER THE QUESTION:

    women settle for bad sex for different reasons:
    - to hold on to a man they like, in hopes of teaching him how to please her.
    - they've never known good sex, so they accept what they can get.
    - they're afraid to question what he's doing...fearing he will walk out the door.
    - they don't know how to tell him he's not doing it right.
    - some women still believe that sex is about the man...and he doesn't have to satisfy her

    the list goes on.
    until she find it within herself to tell him what she likes, and wants done, nothing will change.
     
  4. Liberty

    Liberty going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Thanks for posting
    I think you understand women pretty well.
    But, I don't think every woman KNOWS what's missing, until she experiences it.
    People always say that women should speak up about their displeasure. But, most women know that men are very sensitive to criticism in the bedroom. Criticizing his sexual abilities will probably be the end of the relationship. Women are sensitive like that, too.

    If you know two women, one complains that she is dissatisfied, and one is whooping and hollering (faking) and has you convinced that "you the man", who will you be drawn to?

    What do you think about the 75% of women who never, ever, reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Listening to men, that could never be true, huh?

    I think the pornography industry has done a lot to damage to normal sexuality between men and women. Men and women have unrealistic expectations based on porn, IMO. Men aren't expected to do much, and women are expected to be easily satisfied. If she isn't, she'd think there is something wrong with her, so she'd just fake it.

    One of the most important things that can be missing is love, tenderness, expressions of appreciation. Women need to be made love to, not fu**ed. Many men don't need that

    I've heard men say the can tell when a woman is faking. I think they are grossly wrong.
     
  5. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    sexual intercourse is a wonderful thing...that one should give him/herself over to, fully...in order to be enjoyed, thoroughly. holding back, in any way, by either party, only hampers what you're trying to achieve.
     
  6. Liberty

    Liberty going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    As young girls, yes they are taught to repress their sexual urges.

    But, I don't think most women are holding back. I know women who have been married for decades, and have been faking the whole time. They would LOVE to have an orgasm. They love their husbands, but they hate having sex with them. The reason they fake is to get I over with. If it were just one thing they could say that would make a difference I am sure they'd say it. For instance, what could you say to the two-minute man?


    And there are probably just as any unsatisfied men, accounting for the number of men who cheat.
     
  7. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    the "two minute man" didn't become one over night; he's been that way, probably, all his life. in the formulative stage of their relationship, she should have addressed that then. at some point in the relationship, she decided to accept it...now, she's living with the repercussions of that decision. WITH THAT SAID, there is always more than one way to skin a cat.:) if she needs more than two minutes, have her introduce him to other methods of getting her there. if she knows her body, she knows what she needs to achieve her objective--whether it's that sensual massage you referred to, earlier; oral; or toys. TEACH HIM. sit him down and have that talk...in non-attack mode--as in don't start with, "IF YOU WERE A REAL MAN......" kinda thing...coz that's not going to get her the results she wants.

    as for girls with repressed urges, they can't undo the damage of their upbringing by saying it's no longer an issue. they may need to work with someone--psychologist, therapist--who can walk them through that.

    WHATEVER THEY DO, it has to be a joint effort.
     
  8. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I suppose some women stay in relationships with bad sex for the same reason some men stay in relationships with women who have bad attitudes. They're providing something more of greater importance; for women, it can be how he treats her, for men, it could be how she sexes him up.
     
  9. Liberty

    Liberty going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Yeah. And, then
    Yes, but that is all easier said than done. I have never felt comfortable telling a man he wasn't hitting on nothing. I would rather just leave the relationship. Now if things are going well, communication is easy.
     
  10. Liberty

    Liberty going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I guess that's the bottom line.
     
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