Black People : Spoken Or Unspoken Love???

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by cocobutterskyn, Dec 12, 2001.

  1. cocobutterskyn

    cocobutterskyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    4,182
    Likes Received:
    171
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Spreading Joy.... need some?
    Location:
    Sixburgh, Pa.
    Ratings:
    +221
    We as parent (most of us) provide our children with the essentials they need to survive and develope into a normal healthy adults...food, shelter, clothing and the benefit of our wisdom.

    I come from a very loving family(immediate). We were taught not only to love one another, but to be loving toward each other. Doesn't mean we didn't have our disagreements, cuz Lord knows we did and still do. However, it is second nature to hug, kiss and verbally show my love towards my parents, brothers and sister.

    My reason for starting this thread. I and a very close girlfriend were having breakfast I looked around the restaurant and noticed a lot of what appears be granddaughters having breakfast with their grandmothers. Sadly, I am one of many granddaughters who has never had the wonderful experience of such a pleasant moment where the memory would put a smile on my face. I decided to share it with my girlfriend. I explained to her that I wish I could have had a close relationship with my grandmother...take her to lunch, dinner, comb her hair, bake cookies etc. all the things granddaughters do with their grandmothers. The kind of relationship my daughter has with my mother. I told her my grandmother never kissed, hugged or even told me she loved me/us.

    She began to inform me of her relationship with her mother and sisters, they never hugged, kissed or said they love each other. It wasn't until this past year when she accepted Jesus in her life, she was able to show affection. I asked if growing up in a situation such as that affected her, she replied yes. I said, my not having a relationship with my father's mother affected me. I feel as if I'm missing a part of me. Enough rambling about me.

    The phrase Actions Speak Louder Than Words....is an interesting phrase. Is that true in all cases? I don't believe it is. I feel children need to be told they are loved just as they need to be shown. Clothing and shelter to them is simply a parents duty.

    Is the unspoken love of providing for our children enough? Does anyone else have any thoughts on this?


    Madd Holiday Greetings :heart:
    CCBSKYN
     
  2. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2001
    Messages:
    1,312
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    under the sun
    Ratings:
    +7
    Coco

    Many people think that if they provide for their child, giving it the necessities as well as material possessions, then it is enough...

    I don't think so....

    I come from a family of 9 children, the youngest, and my parents were both in their forties when I was born. I always knew I was loved, but was never told I was loved, and there is a whole lot of difference between the two.

    I decided I wanted to have my children at a young age so I could grow with them and try to give them what I never had. I am firm believer in showing the love in a physical way, a touch, a hug, a hand to hold. And my time and effort has it's own rewards, giving me three children with whom I can relate to on any level, and who are all emotional and responsive people today.

    Apart from knowing they are loved, I believe touching and holding a child and telling them you love them, also gives them comfort and makes them feel safe, like knowing they have a safe haven when things go wrong, and it also creates a special bond between the parent and the child or between the two children.

    For me, no material possession or action, will mean as much as someones arms around me or someones words to soothe me, as we are living, breathing creatures we need interaction to sustain us.

    K
     
  3. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2013
    Messages:
    6,583
    Likes Received:
    2,894
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +3,317
    I do believe the action speaks louder, but that doesn't mean it should be spoken alone. The action backs up the words, but if the words aren't there, one can wonder what is being backed up. Is it out of love you do this for me? Or out of only a feeling of necessity for the one you brought into the world?

    The actions of love add the flesh to the skeleton of the words, I believe, to bring them to life, but if there is only action, I think it shows no structure, no foundation of what the actions are being built upon, so it's no surprise if someone would feel they are missing something.

    Unspoken love isn't really enough for a child, I believe, but they need to hear it so they understand where the parents are coming from. Also, it teaches them to speak the words to those they love without hesitation.
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Spoken Unspoken Love
  1. Andreattah
    Replies:
    10
    Views:
    901
  2. Randee
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    806
  3. Mikha'el
    Replies:
    8
    Views:
    860
  4. baller
    Replies:
    19
    Views:
    1,529
  5. 1poetsought
    Replies:
    5
    Views:
    730