Black Parenting : Spanking Your Children

Sister Legit-Writer, this topic can also be found here:

"Whipping and Spanking Our Children"
http://destee.com/index.php?threads/whipping-and-spanking-our-children.60254/#post-620418


But, to answer your question, here is my stance:

Some parents, Black and White, confuse the difference between "abuse" and "discipline."

When parents hit their children in anger, that's not "discipline."
When parents hit their children to release stress from their own lives, that's not "discipline."

Beating a child for every infraction, small or large, is not "discipline."

Many Black adults today, can look back on their own childhoods and honestly say that, yes, sometimes, they were "abused" even though they may harbor no ill feelings towards their mothers or fathers for those instances.

No parent is perfect.

Many parents who use corporal punishment do so in "discipline."

And many parents beat the h3ll outta their children for everything they do wrong because that's the only deterrent they know and it's what was done to them.

However, many of us who were raised with corporal punishment may look back on some of our own "whuppins" (and of friends & family) with humor now; but if we're honest with ourselves, we would also admit that some of those "whuppins" were not just "discipline." ----It was "abuse."

Again, no parent is perfect.

But, people also sometimes do the "wrong things for the right reasons."
 
It depends on the degree of wrong that my kids do initially, but I will definitely do it if they openly defy me after being told what is right. The thing is to let your kids know the bounds and to not contradict the bounds yourself so they do not have an out on your expense and all "should" be good. I know there will come an age where only their experience will enhance your early teachings. And to clarify the word should is in quotes as I know not all situations, or other people's children are the same.
 
Do you spank your children? For those who do, do you agree with the concept to not spank your children if you are angry? If a child does something that pisses you off, how else are you supposed to feel prior to spanking them?

The best thing to do is to calm down before you spank.

Get your emotions under control so you're not just whaling away at the child, taking out all your anger, hurt or even fear out on the child.

IMO, that's when a parent crosses the line between "discipline" and "abuse."

One time in my own childhood, after I had done something very stupid and potentially dangerous, my mother was very upset with me and was also extremely emotional because I had scared her for my safety and life. (NOTE: "ONE TIME.) lol

So, after she had ascertained that I was not dead or hurt, she informed me of her mental and emotional state, "I PROMISE you this @ss-whoopin! But, I've got to calm down first cuz if I hit you NOW, I'll KILL ya!"

It took her several DAYS to keep her "promise," but when she DID, I NEVA, EVA, EVA thought about doing that again! (lol)...Couldn't nobody PAY me to do it again! (lol) --That was the worst whoopin of my LIFE! (lol)

And, of course, she prolly ALSO was beating me for some OTHER stuff that she had previously let me "slide" on.

So, it was "catch-up time" on my behind! (lol)

You know how the old ones say, "Imma gitcha for the OLD and the NEW!" :lol:
 
....
So, after she had ascertained that I was not dead or hurt, she informed me of her mental and emotional state, "I PROMISE you this @ss-whoopin! But, I've got to calm down first cuz if I hit you NOW, I'll KILL ya!" ...

Oh, and this "decree" was even more chilling because she delivered it in her "quiet mode." ---- She wasn't screaming at me. Noooo.. Lookin' me dead in my eyes, she so very softly uttered these words to me that even more let me know just how ANGRY she was at me!

She was like Marlon Brando in the "Godfather" talkin' to me! (lol)
 

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