Black Jokes Humor : southern zodiac signs

DivaWithTude

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Feb 18, 2004
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OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
>Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside.
>Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his
>life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon
>Pies.
>
>CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
>Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make
>something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In
>dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius.
>Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
>
>BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20)
>You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface
>of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of
>everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you
>had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you,
>so don't worry about it.
>
>MOON PIE (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
>You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a
>cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round
>are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get
>remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might
>be the year to think about aerobics. Or - maybe not.
>
>POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21)
>When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency
>to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes
>you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This
>strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for
>you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems
>actually running you over.
>
>CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
>Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always
>hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the
>mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room.
>You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have
>very, very good heads.
>
>COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
>Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the
>"melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those
>round them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and
>baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are
>Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a
>lot of heartache.
>
>CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23)
>Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one
>whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy
>people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface
>of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
>
>GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
>Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle
>together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so
>maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go?
>Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you
>can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.
>
>BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
>You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately,
>those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that
>your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably
>affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear.
>You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a
>certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be
>sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.
>
>BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
>Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with
>everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the
>vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can
>sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do
>with Moon Pies.
>
>ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
>You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually
>quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots,
>fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with
>today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about
>today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior
>patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is
>another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.
 

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