Black Poetry : Sounds of Silence

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by NittyGrit, Dec 7, 2004.

  1. NittyGrit

    NittyGrit Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Slow dancing alone
    w/ a gigolo moon
    while tattle-tale stars
    sneak and peak in my room

    whispering breezes
    tickle the mood
    as lyrics and melodies
    inspire a groove

    traces of lonliness
    creep through my window
    disturbing the ambiance
    of soft candle glow

    tears of the sky
    splash softly and hiss
    then slide down the silhouettes
    that hide in darkness

    the bosom of my bed
    caresses my head
    w/ sympathetic pillows
    and an affectionate spread

    the walls lend support
    with their tentative ears
    and sing accopella echos
    of each word that they hear

    silence never sounded so lonesome
    when she was around
    i saw laughter in her eyes
    despite the blues in her frown

    the darkness wasn't so heavy
    and never last so long
    the union of our bodies
    birthed many a dawn

    now there's nothing to comfort me
    but silky wayward winds
    fleeting incense smoke
    and this emotional pen


    NittyGritt (c) 2004
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    a dance of radiant warmth of beauty
    this was str8 off da hook ...wow !!!!!!
     
  3. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    nice.....
    you said it all yourself "this emotional pen"
    twas...that..
    a joy to read even with lines like "silence never sounded so lonesome..."
    a joy...
    really nice
     
  4. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    *Applause**Applause**Applause*

    Poet!!!!!!!

    This poem is sensational!
    The metaphor, rhythm and clever descriptiveness
    left me in awe...
    ((a sympathetic pillow))...that line just floored me
    and then you continued to drop more amazing stanzas
    One right after the other...whoa
    I am enamoured by this piece...​
     
  5. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lovin this

    especially the line about your emotional pen....when we write it's funny how that pen becomes a part of us, showinng the world who we truly are...gr8 point to bring out. :peace:
     
  6. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for bringing this one to my attention Nita. Wow...I'm sorry I missed this one. The images were so soft, silky, and dreamy. This was a mesmerizing flow.
     
  7. NittyGrit

    NittyGrit Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I appreciate all the love and support yall gave this poem.
    my objective was for the reader to get so lost in the description that
    they did not realize the writer's strong sense of pride.
    he never says sorry
    he doesn't break down and say that he's hurt, but you can tell from
    the tone of the poem

    As men, we tend to put up a smoke screen when it comes to our emotions.
    we rarely let those closest to us see just how much we hurt and regret our actions.

    Peace & Love,

    NittyGritt
     
  8. abstract219

    abstract219 ...standing on the shoulders of giants MEMBER

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    this is one amazing write.....(I dug up in the crates to find thiis one)
    WHAT A FREE WRITE...JUST AMAZING METAPHORS GALORE....GREAT RHYTHM IN THE STANZAS....
    THE TOPIC IS SAD BUT IM IMPRESSED BY THE DESCRIPTIVE STYLE, THE SMOOTHNESS OF THIS ONE...

    A PHENOMENAL WRITE.
     
  9. A007

    A007 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That was tyyyyyyte! Great Job.
     
  10. Ikoro

    Ikoro Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    POET, that poem was -filled- with regret.

    As a man I recognized the heavy sentimental tone, and the sense of pride in it. It flowed so sensually, what a beautiful expression. I'm treasuring this. WHOOO!

    Too nice.

    ~Ikoro
     
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