Destee Network : sorryassbabydaddies.com

Discussion in 'Destee Network :' started by Destee, Aug 5, 2006.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,773
    Likes Received:
    8,979
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,677
    Peace and Blessings Family,

    I was browsing around the net this morning and stumbled on this site:

    http://www.sorryassbabydaddies.com/

    It seems you can put a picture of a Brother, his child(ren), and the story behind the fact that he is not supportive of the child. They have pictures of the children posted there! Those poor babies ... smh.

    If you have a "baby's daddy" that does not support his child, for $20.00, you can "out" him to the entire world, on the Internet. If you happen to be a Brother that has been outed on the site, you too can send $20.00, along with your evidence proving that you are supportive (court documents), and have your side of the story posted on the site as well.

    They accept both Black and white "dead beat dad" profiles, but goes on to say that it is mostly Black men that are doing this.

    According to the site, it was started by a 27 year old single Black Mother of 4 children.

    Their discussion forum is called GUN CLUB, which stands for, Girls united nationally for committing love and uplifting brothers.

    Girls ?? ... that are Mothers ... ?? ... Uplifting Brothers ?? ... Hmmmm.

    It claims to be a support site for the many Sisters raising children alone.

    What do you all think of it?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2005
    Messages:
    4,201
    Likes Received:
    118
    Ratings:
    +118
    I don't agree so much with her method...

    I skimmed the site about a month ago. I was shocked that the Sister came out the woodwork with some "sorry baby-daddy" talk, and yet, she wasn't married once, and all 4 of her children have separate fathers:rolleyes: The fact that she wasn't so innocent is the reason why she shouldn't come across so angry. I believe she has good intentions, but where's/was her common sense? I am approximately the same age as she, and I have 1 child. I'm not insinuating that I am/was better, but at such a young age, what would cause a young woman to relinquish her "freedom" repeatedly, especially since her first 2 child-rearing experiences were unfavorable? I know by founding her site, she is trying to support her 4 lovely children, but the "outing" of baby-daddies, is absurd, especially since it can get ugly and turn into a cyber war; putting personal business "in the streets". Wouldn't that be a form of slander? Like you Destee, I was hurt to see her children plastered all on the net, in a negative light:(. I wish her the best in her business "venture". But it would help if a segment of her site had a 'Preventative Measures' forum where young Brothers and men Sisters avoid getting trapped in situations like that.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,977
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,177
    Interesting .........who's the victim really !
    Blasting brothers won't change a thing nor make her children daddy be supportive.
    But i can feel each pain and the fact they are alone trying to raise these babies
    I wonder how she feel about these women who do the same thing !
    interesting .
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    Messages:
    10,227
    Likes Received:
    191
    Location:
    The Diaspora
    Ratings:
    +194
    I'm glad you mentioned this Spicy, because it is an essential part of the pattern of absentee fatherhood in the African American community. Indeed the correlation between the increase in unwed parenthood and the increase in absentee fathers in the African American community is often overlooked or dismissed as if it is somehow "unimportant". This dismissal quite frankly defies all logic because the correlation between the two social-behavioral patterns in undeniable.

    This topic (and this website) is very similar to a thread I started 3 years ago: Can absent fathers be shamed into taking care of their kids?

    http://www.destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25423&page=2&highlight=shame

    The answer is NO; at least not with the superficial explorations which shame campaigns (like sorryassbabydaddies.com) undertake. What needs to occur is an in depth exploration of the culture of child abandonment that the African American community has adopted. A culture which has made unacceptable behaviors and beliefs "normal" in our community. We also have to modify our behavior if we truly want change, because new results don't come from the same behavior. This change in behavior must happen from both black men and women.
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,773
    Likes Received:
    8,979
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,677
    Sister Spicy ... i agree, and if she ever reads this i'm sure she will appreciate the very constructive criticism you've provided. That is the key. It's one thing to point out our wrongs, but that list of wrongs should also be accompanied by a way to improve the situation.

    Great suggestion Sister!

    I would have viewed the site in a much different light, had there been some "preventative measures" included.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,527
    Likes Received:
    36
    Ratings:
    +38
    I agree with spicy but she also has lupus and having kids with lupus is deadly.
    Yes the site and her having different baby fathers is tacky but it was just as tacky for them to conceive and leave!
     
  7. TreasureEyes

    TreasureEyes Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2005
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1
    Kudos Spicy! Some mothers have their own interest before the kids not realizing they are hurting the child(ren) more than themselves. Shame the kids always get caught in their parents drama.
     
  8. ladyday

    ladyday New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1
    sorryass...

    the sister's site is like cutting off your nose to spite your face.
     
  9. robboy2003

    robboy2003 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    330
    Likes Received:
    5
    Occupation:
    To bring strength and a calming influence,and to s
    Location:
    The Ville
    Ratings:
    +5
    If i was of that tortured soul, I would continue to do the opposite. Gladly, I am into the light about loving, teaching and nurturing,so much so,that I've been responsible for others that are not my seed.

    What would a publication be that recognizes true Black Royality like Black Tigers and Tigress. I like that. Perhaps someone will start a website like that of Black Heroes being surrogate dads and moms. Maybe we can emphasize the scout leaders and men and women who care for our unwanted and acknowledged old and young people.


    People who volunteer their time at the shelters, and make sure,that our black senior citizens have somebody. Perhaps we can honor the brotha,that brings in to his home abandoned and abused children. Maybe, it will not be so uncommon and will catch on and knock mindless senseless fluff where it belongs behind the living!

    Peace!
     
  10. Edward Williams

    Edward Williams Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2006
    Messages:
    870
    Likes Received:
    58
    Occupation:
    Produce Justice
    Location:
    Right here!
    Ratings:
    +58
    Why don't someone just start a website where they reward people for finding the fathers who are not paying child support. They could receive grant money from the ACF to fund it. They could even apply for their 501c3 to receive additional funding. They could also form additional alliances with other so-called organizations to form a world-wide coalitition of forces that are monitored at the government level. This would not be difficult to do.

    ...but at some point we gotta realize (real eyes) that not having enough money ain't the reason our children are in the situation they're in. The same people that institute these band-aid approches to pacify us to keep us from raising our voices about the mistreatment are the same people who are mistreating us. Isn't that ironic? That we depend on the same people to help us that are harming us. Talk about insanity.

    More money may help some people do some things but it is not a guarantee that our children will get the help they need when they need it. Having enough money, even millions of dollars ain't gonna keep people from being mistreated on the basis of color. If you don't believe that ask Oprah...or O.J. Simpson. Wasn't he acquitted?