Black Poetry : something

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by deepy, Nov 26, 2004.

  1. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I saw something from the corner of my eye
    Made me stop….
    Moved slowly to the space..
    It was gone…erased
    I quietly yelled
    Somebody here?
    Only the silence was clear..

    Moved upstairs and opened the door
    Turned on the light
    And saw the darting as tho
    Running in fright..
    Moved slowly to the space
    …..it was gone….erased
    somebody here?
    Only the silence was clear

    What could it be
    What energies are hounding me
    Keeping me on alert
    Back up straight
    Tensed til it hurt
    What could it be…
    Something lingering watching
    Me

    There it is again…near the kitchen door
    Tangled near the phone..but on the floor?
    I looked again this isn’t human form
    Some darkly shaded lines…nothing more
    I

    Realized..
    My shadow
    Skirting every move I made
    Checking and chuckling
    Following my every gaze…
    Hiding yet wanting to be seen
    Attached to me by a silkened seam

    My shadow
    Playing in the light
    Whispering with the sun
    Having lots of fun
    As I quietly screamed
    Somebody here?
    Only the silences are clear




    (c)deepy/ncn\

    all poetry by deepy on the destee site: (c) under deepy/ncn
     
  2. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I love the way often venture out poetically trying something new. With this one, you keep the reader in suspense, wanting to know, what is it? And then when you do reveal what "it" is, the way you crafted this discovery...
    "I looked again this isn’t human form
    Some darkly shaded lines…nothing more
    I

    Realized..
    My shadow"

    ....just gripping. This piece was wonderfully written poet.
     
  3. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Love the way you bring it, deepy: simple, clear, poignant. Really vibin this, sister. :terrific:
     
  4. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Heavy drop,
    A shadow is much like life, no matter where you turn...it's there.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    awesome write i was all in this one deepy wow!
     
  6. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    props tothe poetic mods...checking me out..
    giving encouragement...showing love..and
    seeing...
    appreciate you queen
    loving your spirit and support always rich
    and gempis....gempis....gempis..recognizing the keen pain of it all...
    "only the silences are clear" - strange feelings running thru me.

    Watz...i capitalized the w!-....constantly helping me with my craft..encouraging the freedom to explore - quietly saying try more...
    wouldn't be here without your consistent support...
    yours too rich.....
     
  7. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Your response made me smile deepy, much luv to ya sis.
     
  8. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    something
    in the clear light
    flowing all around me
    something
    moving in the sun
    shining all through me
    something
    angels winging it
    singing it
    giving praise all above me
    shadowlike this something
    this group of spirits
    hovering under
    what a blessing
     
  9. Prizefighter16

    Prizefighter16 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can't believe I missed this one when it was posted. This poem is so so so well written. That's why i had to bring it back up deepy.

    keep the flow goin. :welldone:
     
  10. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Deepy...You are such an awesome and prolific writer...
    your work exceeds poetry...it encompasses the fullness
    of "creative writing"...

    I loved that line..."only the silence is clear..."
    *Applause* powerful line...powerful


    Love this poem...
    Sage
     
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