Black People : Someplace to Begin?

[anAfrican]

while it is true that this post reflects a lot of personal anguish, i believe that they are things that too many (if not all) of us know of/experience to some degree:

1) The "dysfunctionalizing deconstruction" of the Family; and
2) The "deconstruction" of the Community.

i think that the efforts at "Brotherhooding" are one part of the first issue .. and, may, in fact, also be a part of the second. as well, the issues suggested by existence of the various "Black Men "vs" Black Women" threads could also be significant.

on the one hand, there is "a bit" of "crying out in the wilderness" in the following. on the other hand, "cleaning it up" would lose a lot of the "poignancy" behind my experiences of the issues. it always seems that things that one chooses to address are the results of one's experiences with those subjects. while i would be, of course, appreciative of personal "condolences"/support, i'd truly love to see:

Let's move on to discuss what's happening in the Black community and what can be done and who is willing to do whatever they can to address it in positive and constructive ways.

Fix'n OUR Black Family/Community

you just keep on doin that, sister queen; bringing these topics/considerations that are always on point ... but, sadly, sometimes get lost in the shuffle. (doing something with one's anger; stupid vs ignorant; victims of mind control; the hard headed sisters thread; the family centric threads ... oooh! just bunches!!) and then there is this one! (ok, so it is a thread that you started "by proxy". <grin> )

there are at least two big issues that i am needing to come to grips with:

1) dysfunctional family as the result of a father "growing up" in a badly broken home, and passing those "lessons learned" on down. (yes, i do have three .. (well five; one each from previous relationships) ... sisters. none married; one with a bachelor's of arts; one with children - all passing on the "fatherless household" mess and what that does to the children.) not real sure where to turn with this one (nope! "professional support" is just another facet of the "support" that has us where we are today.), but i'm really wanting to lean toward finding a group of intelligent Black Folk ....

2) this danged crack mess!! don't go pointing a finger at the crack-heads; they are as trapped in the mess as you are - their mess is just a little bit uglier (maybe ... hmmm ... "abusive relationships" might be a tad bit worse), and more visible than "your's"; it's the 9to5, and all that goes with it, that creates not only the conditions that would lead folks to be open to such a "career/lifestyle alternative", but that requires that there be this "class of people" to keep others in line. once that despair leaves them open to this danged drug, the drug just keeps them stuck! we have an awful lot of Black energy/resources lost out there!! how about "adopt a crack house" or "adopt a crack-head" programs to see if we can figure out how to get them back? WE MUST STOP TURNING OUR NOSES UP AT OUR OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


these are two issues that i MUST figure out how to address: dad, at 85, still has that same "chip on his shoulder" that his father "gifted" him with. ("why/where did he go?" "why did he abandon me?" "wasn't i good enough?!" "i'll show you!!") and that is where he raised our family! it hurts, man. he is still constantly on all of our backs because "we aren't good enough" ... but that is nothing new; he's always been on our backs about that ... in fact, that is all that he ever taught us!! and just look at us now! but i need some help to "Redeem His Name", and Our Family (he never says "our" or "we"; it's ALWAYS "my" ... as he sits in "his room" (the living room) watching "his" tv). and all of us have been bitten by that danged mess! (it's always hard to start reaching out for help in these sorts of areas, because the pain/anger always comes through too loud and clear ...)

i'd rather put this in the "(Fixing the) Black Family Forum", but there are only "Black Parenting", "Sisters", "Brothers", "Teens" and "Relationships" forums ... kinda like this society; bust the family down in to individual pieces and twist them apart ...

 

[monet1027]

I Agree

with pretty much everything you've said and I think most in the community do as well.
I notice small ripples of change that keep me optimistic enough to believe "a change is gon' come" in my lifetime. We as a people have become so disenfranshised and disjointed that we have hit rock bottom and there's nowhere to go but up. I think our failure as a people to mobilize after Hurricane Katrina to do for our own opened alot of eyes. We saw firsthand that despite voting and paying taxes FOR GENERATIONS we can be reduced to refugees in this country.
The helplessness we all experienced showed us that we have noone to depend on but US. We need to stop trying to assilimate into a larger dysfunctional society so obsessed with wealth that the've lost their humanity. We are beginning to awaken to that fact and there is a subtle shift happening. I think we have drawn closer and are reassessing our position and strategdy.

 

[cherryblossom]

while it is true that this post reflects a lot of personal anguish, i believe that they are things that too many (if not all) of us know of/experience to some degree:

1) The "dysfunctionalizing deconstruction" of the Family; and
2) The "deconstruction" of the Community.

i think that the efforts at "Brotherhooding" are one part of the first issue .. and, may, in fact, also be a part of the second. as well, the issues suggested by existence of the various "Black Men "vs" Black Women" threads could also be significant.

on the one hand, there is "a bit" of "crying out in the wilderness" in the following. on the other hand, "cleaning it up" would lose a lot of the "poignancy" behind my experiences of the issues. it always seems that things that one chooses to address are the results of one's experiences with those subjects. while i would be, of course, appreciative of personal "condolences"/support, i'd truly love to see:

Fix'n OUR Black Family/Community

you just keep on doin that, sister queen; bringing these topics/considerations that are always on point ... but, sadly, sometimes get lost in the shuffle. (doing something with one's anger; stupid vs ignorant; victims of mind control; the hard headed sisters thread; the family centric threads ... oooh! just bunches!!) and then there is this one! (ok, so it is a thread that you started "by proxy". <grin> )

there are at least two big issues that i am needing to come to grips with:

1) dysfunctional family as the result of a father "growing up" in a badly broken home, and passing those "lessons learned" on down. (yes, i do have three .. (well five; one each from previous relationships) ... sisters. none married; one with a bachelor's of arts; one with children - all passing on the "fatherless household" mess and what that does to the children.) not real sure where to turn with this one (nope! "professional support" is just another facet of the "support" that has us where we are today.), but i'm really wanting to lean toward finding a group of intelligent Black Folk ....

2) this danged crack mess!! don't go pointing a finger at the crack-heads; they are as trapped in the mess as you are - their mess is just a little bit uglier (maybe ... hmmm ... "abusive relationships" might be a tad bit worse), and more visible than "your's"; it's the 9to5, and all that goes with it, that creates not only the conditions that would lead folks to be open to such a "career/lifestyle alternative", but that requires that there be this "class of people" to keep others in line. once that despair leaves them open to this danged drug, the drug just keeps them stuck! we have an awful lot of Black energy/resources lost out there!! how about "adopt a crack house" or "adopt a crack-head" programs to see if we can figure out how to get them back? WE MUST STOP TURNING OUR NOSES UP AT OUR OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


these are two issues that i MUST figure out how to address: dad, at 85, still has that same "chip on his shoulder" that his father "gifted" him with. ("why/where did he go?" "why did he abandon me?" "wasn't i good enough?!" "i'll show you!!") and that is where he raised our family! it hurts, man. he is still constantly on all of our backs because "we aren't good enough" ... but that is nothing new; he's always been on our backs about that ... in fact, that is all that he ever taught us!! and just look at us now! but i need some help to "Redeem His Name", and Our Family (he never says "our" or "we"; it's ALWAYS "my" ... as he sits in "his room" (the living room) watching "his" tv). and all of us have been bitten by that danged mess! (it's always hard to start reaching out for help in these sorts of areas, because the pain/anger always comes through too loud and clear ...)

i'd rather put this in the "(Fixing the) Black Family Forum", but there are only "Black Parenting", "Sisters", "Brothers", "Teens" and "Relationships" forums ... kinda like this society; bust the family down in to individual pieces and twist them apart ...

Great post!

Well, the "blind" can't lead and the "sick" can't heal. So, even those of us who would like to step up, we need to face our own inner challenges as well.

And while we're helping another up, we need to be honest about our own shortcomings and dysfunctions which shaped our lives too. We need to share that introspection with others so they know that they are not alone in their fears and issues.

We'll have to work on not allowing our own buried resentments cloud our helping another and not be afraid or ashamed to say, "I'm not without scars, and I'm still working on myself too."

Hopefully, there can be healing within ourselves as we strive to help someone else along the way.

 

[cherryblossom]

Black America has to build self-sufficient communities to thrive
By Samantha Chamblee • June 7, 2009

http://www.thecommentfactory.com/bl...ld-self-sufficient-communities-to-thrive-2213

"..Black communities are NOT battlegrounds. And this is the crux of the matter. While many in the white community see our neighborhoods as cesspools of crime, drug use and economic depression, useful only as pick up spots for illicitly used illegal drugs or as morally decadent wastelands on which to play out their gentrifying fantasies, we live here.

Our neighborhoods are not nightmarish fantasies nor are they chock full of wholesale tragedy. There are tragedies to be had here but mostly there is life. Our communities are places where we raise and educate our children, feed our families, go to work everyday and try to carve out some semblance of the American dream. In this world, the real world of the inner city and not some hip ghetto spin on reality, black men can do everything right and return to their communities as protectors only to be gunned down by peace officers who are not official and bring no peace. That is the reality we see today. The question is what can we, the inhabitants of the community, do about it? Some say nothing and shrug it away as racial reality in a “post racial” America. I reject that....."