Black Relationships : Solving Problems in a "Relationship"

Edward Williams

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Jan 14, 2006
874
60
Right here!
Occupation
Produce Justice
One of the main problems with relationships ending between non-white (black) males and non-white (black) females is their ability to solve problems. We never know what to expect from each other because we have been trained to misuse and abuse each other. We've bee ntaught to just accept a person as they are...with all of their faults and all of their inconsistencies. But that doesn't work which is the reason non-white males and females keep breaking up. There is only so much we can "accept".

Below is a primitive effort at coming up with a problem solving strategy that allows for both people to voice their opinions about the problem, carefully listen to each other, voice their opinion about how to solve the problem, come to an agreement, and also leave room for improvement inthe future.

But it needs refinement.

If you so choose, please help to refine this process, without argument with each other, by voicing which part of it doesn't work and why. Also, please voice which part of this process does work and why.

Thank you.

Initiator = Person who initiates conversation about there being a problem.
Helper = Person who the Initiator is talking to.

1. Initiator states “We have a problem, Let’s TALK”.
2. Helper and the Initiator give each other their undivided attention.
3. Initiator states “let me tell you what I think the problem is” and proceeds to explain what they think the problem is or will be.
4. The Initiator then asks the Helper if they understand / agree that this is a problem, and if they have any questions regarding the problem as stated.
5. If the Helper has questions about the stated problem the Helper asks those questions. The Helper always begins by making the following comment: I agree that what has been stated by “the Initiator” as a problem is indeed a problem. All questions are asked and answered before proceeding further.
6. If the Helper has no questions about the stated problem the Initiator proceeds to give the Helper a possible solution to the stated problem that ensures no person is mistreated and also ensures the person who needs help the most get the most help.
7. The Initiator then asks the Helper if they have any questions about the proposed solution.
8. If the Helper has questions about the proposed solution the Helper asks those questions. The Helper always begins by making the following comment: I agree that what has been stated by “the Initiator” as a proposed solution could very well be the solution to the stated problem. All questions are asked and answered before proceeding further.
9. If the Helper has no questions about the proposed solution the Initiator asks the Helper for a possible solution to the stated problem that ensures no person is mistreated and also ensures the person who needs help the most get the most help.
10. The Helper proceeds to give the Initiator a proposed solution to the stated problem that ensures no person is mistreated and also ensures the person who needs help the most get the most help and then asks the Initiator if they have any questions about their proposed solution.
11. If the Initiator has questions about the proposed solution the Initiator asks those questions. The Initiator always begins by making the following comment: I agree that what has been stated by “the Helper” as a proposed solution to the stated problem could very well be a solution to the problem. All questions are asked and answered before proceeding further.
12. If the Initiator has no questions about the proposed solution given by the Helper, both the Initiator and the Helper come to an agreement of which proposed solution is the best solution to the stated problem, agrees to implement the best solution to the stated problem, and implements it immediately.
13. If a better solution is discovered in the future and surfaced as a better solution to the problem by the Initiator and/or the Helper both must agree on the better solution and agree to follow the better solution and implement it immediately.
14. Success of problem resolution shall only be measured by the behavior of the Initiator and the Helper.
 
Brother Edward Williams ... this seems to be a great problem solving strategy.

As i read it, i thought ... hmmmm ... we can even put it into practice right here and now ... because ...

We have a problem, Let’s TALK! :)

:heart:

Destee <~~ Initiator :)
 
Brother Edward Williams ... this seems to be a great problem solving strategy.

As i read it, i thought ... hmmmm ... we can even put it into practice right here and now ... because ...

We have a problem, Let’s TALK! :)

:heart:

Destee <~~ Initiator :)

You mean me and you...we have a problem?
 
You mean me and you...we have a problem?

Yes ... a small one, that could probably be solved implementing this strategy you've presented, while at the same time demonstrating its ability to do as you've suggested it might.

Perfect opportunity for a win win.

:heart:

Destee
 
Yes ... a small one, that could probably be solved implementing this strategy you've presented, while at the same time demonstrating its ability to do as you've suggested it might.

Perfect opportunity for a win win.

:heart:

Destee

Sounds good to me. What seems to be the problem? :)
 

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on Etophil's profile.
Welcome to Destee
@Etophil
Destee wrote on SleezyBigSlim's profile.
Hi @SleezyBigSlim ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :flowers: ... please make yourself at home ... :swings:
Back
Top