Black Poetry : SO CLOSE

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by BlatinaPoet4u, Aug 31, 2004.

  1. BlatinaPoet4u

    BlatinaPoet4u Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    you are sitting so close
    i can feel your breath
    sweet and warm
    so close
    your arm is resting by mine
    i can see your veins showing through your tan skin
    you look so strong right now
    i would feel so safe in your arms
    no harm would ever reach me
    so close
    your head leans towards mine the slightest bit
    as we watch the screen
    i don't really know whats on
    all i see is that strong arm
    and your chest moving with each breath
    then i get a crazy thought
    should i grab your hand?
    am i that bold?
    im scared
    so close
    what will you think? or say?
    i start to move my hand towards yours
    you move and i pull away, pretending to fix my
    hair
    but you look over at me as if you know what i was
    going to do
    so you take my hand
    and look into my eyes
    your hand is so smooth and soft and warm
    i have chills
    your eyes are intense and burning
    as you lean in and kiss me
    so close


    ehh not the best, just noting an experience but
    with a turn of events at the end :) :toast:
     
  2. DA BROTHER LOVE

    DA BROTHER LOVE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    that was aight tho.... you was starting to get somewhere....
     
  3. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ooh, talk about invading personal space. This was nice.... Like Da Brother Love said, it was a sweet beginning; now tell us how it ends.
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I liked the way you brought this, the awkwardness of getting to know someone, we can all relate to this. Very warm piece.
     
  5. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    posed it well..now give us a ending....this was tight
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    da twisted affects of knowing one i agree now the end must be a
    blast very nicely done how u mastered this
     
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