Black Relationships : Sisters Want Someone To Blame For Their Bad Relationships

Yeah, and you know why? Because they dug deep enough into themselves to know why they are attracted to men like this.






No, that was a case of pure denial
















:em0200:

 
I think that a lot of black people spend a lot of time building up the ego, instead of building up self. The ego is an image, a resurrected perception of self. It is either the self that you want to be, or the self that you think that you are. Either way it is not necessarily you.

I have come to know that the ego IS the "Self". The "Ego" is collection of all experiences since we exited the womb we have had. ALL the things taught us on the five levels of lived experiences I teach.

I have to make a run and shall return to complete my thoughts here.


M.E
:hearts2:
 
A word about thugs.
Mind you - the following is a DRAMATIZATION based on current and past perception. OK? Good.

Hell yeah, I'm attracted to thugs. Who isn't?

Thugs are fine.
They are bronzy, built, got that swagga, like to show off their lean and sinewy bodies.

They are strong and aggressive. They will straight gid'wit a ****** and beat his ***!

They will step to a mutha and instigate trouble because they ain't afraid of nobody. They don't run like cowards. They face danger everyday. They know the chances of getting shot or jailed because of what they do, and they still do it. In that sense, thugs look almost like martyrs. They stay in the hood, and they don't get rich and leave like those weak black sissies who run to the burbs to escape the hoodrats and the crime. You have to be 'hard' to stay in the hood, so the staying in the hood personifies being hard, aggressive, being a protector.

The weak nice guys ran. Or are waiting to run. In the meantime, they hide out in the house. Or in school beside the teachers desk. They wear glasses and carry books. They get beat up and messed with. They can't lovingly embrace and protect you with strong arms.... and a tech 9.

And the thugs... they keep their pockets fat.
They got money, lavish themselves and their woman with material things.
'I love you baby, sorry for hittin you, look what I got you' - and you got new clothes, jewelry, a car, whatever. Women like that stuff.... especially women with little material things.

Nice guys have little money, or are always broke. They work.
They do legal things that don't get them much money.
Nice guys don't hit you - but that's a sign of weakness too.
A real man know how to keep a woman in her place. You don't let her run all over you. You know women - they get loud. Bossy. Talk down to a man. Call him names. Try to run him and tell him what to do. You want to put a woman in her place, keep a woman in her place, you might have to knock her every now and then. So women accept that. They understand that. That's why they don't mind gettin knocked every now and then. They expect it. That's why they stay.

THAT'S why women are attracted to thugs. Thugs are the embodiment of manhood. They are the embodiment of protection. They follow the rules of patriarchal hierarchy espoused by mothers, fathers, community, society.
Weak nice men don't.

I said it once and I'll say it again - a woman and her abuser make their own decisions.
But their reasons for making them come from their history - and we are ALL responsible for their history.

Come on now, we all been young(er). Chances are..... if you wasn't a thug, you wanted to be one.
If you weren't with a thug, you wanted to be with one.
Thugs have women, money, and looked like some hard MF'ers.
But the truth is.... most people know little about thugs. Or the women who love them and why.
They are just scapegoats in the communication war between black males and black females - without understanding the underlying problems.


The thing about thugs that many women fail to consciously realize is....
a thug will not not only beat a mans ***... but a woman's too.
Women seem to realize and accept that.... until her *** gets beats so bad that she just can't handle it anymore.

You know why thugs tend to beat women... besides the idea of keeping a woman in her place?
Because thugs are cowards. And they are scared. And it ain't easy being a thug.

People are always trying to test thugs; people that are either jealous, revengeful, or trying to get 'hood' points and street cred by trying to take out a thug.
Police are always on a thugs tail, watching them, waiting to pounce and jail them. They know they can face a lotta time - and any prison time is hard time.
Thugs face danger every day... and contrary to how it seems, it scares the hell out of them. Nobody likes to face the day with thoughts of getting hurt or dying.
Thugs usually come from a dysfunctional home, and ain't got nobody to talk too, confide in, confess too.
You don't confide in a b****, because she will take that as a weakness. You don't confide in yo potna. N***** don't do that kinda stuff.
So he's angry. And he's scared. And he's stressed.
You don't beat a n***** because a n***** beats back.
But women.... they cry. They fall. They bawl into a knot. They leave but they always come back... because they love you... they need you... especially if you tell them you're sorry...that you didn't mean it....that you love her (and thugs do love their women... they honestly do).... and buy her a nice pretty little thing.
She'll forgive you... and she'll come back.... and she'll stay.


The end
(but it ain't really... because we know where this leads don't we? We know these folks may teach their boys and girls the same thang, perpetuating the cycle of violence, dependency, and ill & destructive behavior. Tell me mommas and daddies aren't responsible for that... and those before them, those beside them, those above them, those below them).
 
Hmmmm...I like bad boys...The ones I dated never beat on me...They were always beating on someone else...

I like a "bad" boy or "thug" once in awhile, with a nice glass of champagne LOL...but I could never love one.

The reason I like (or at least liked) them is cause there is some sort of excitement you get out of being with them.

LOL I liked when my ex used to run around being "bad"...too bad at 32 he still does...

Then I was like okay...I can't bring you home to meet the folks...And when I grew up all that became too immature for me to even handle.

I still want a man with some sort of back bone though...

He still has to be able to hold his own. And I still want to feel protected.
 

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on Etophil's profile.
Welcome to Destee
@Etophil
Destee wrote on SleezyBigSlim's profile.
Hi @SleezyBigSlim ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :flowers: ... please make yourself at home ... :swings:
Back
Top