Sisters ... please stop letting men mistreat you.
Stop acting like a victim of your own choices, remaining with these men, as if you can do no different.
Stop acting like you're so weak, fragile, and unable to hear the obvious regarding your choices.
This is a topic so close to my heart ... oh my gosh ... i feel another apology is finna be needed ... dang.
I've got to weigh my words so heavily, it becomes burdensome to even speak.
Please forgive me in advance, should such be warranted.
Ohhhhhhhh ... this topic is so close to my heart !!!
How can Sisters be this delicate glass vessel, with hearts so fragile, raising babies alone, oftentimes feeding, sheltering, and clothing the men that live with them but won't marry them, along with providing the same for the children, while he has as many women as he wants, and she is struggling to do everything, even putting up with getting hit and stuff, taking whoopn's from grown men, heart broke every day 'cause they aint gett'n nuth'n they want, being used and abused by men that say they love them, going through this kind of rigorous and volatile living ... and then at the same time ... claim to be so weak, fragile, and unable to bear hearing the truth of their own situation and circumstance?! How can this be?!!
For the record, the stuff i've said in this thread, the stuff i'm saying now, i'd say to my Daughter.
But my Daughter grew up with me, she's had a lifetime of this, she's seen how it's all connected together.
To talk the same way to someone else's Daughter, that has no foundation for which to place any of this on, is problematic.
I remember talking to a young Sister some time ago. She was going through with a young man, kinda crying to me about it ... which i personally have very little patience for, even from my Daughter, though i oblige her because she's mine ... but this little Sister, i love her too, and was willing to try to help ... but what i found ... was that she tried applying the stuff i said, with no real backbone in her, no foundation to stand on, regarding the things that were coming out of her mouth to the man in her life ... (mostly my words) ... and he's looking at her like, where you get this from?! ... 'cause she was all brand new ... and shaking in her boots as she spoke ... because it was not something that was truly in her ... though she was trying to make it be a part of herself ... it looked fake and foreign. I felt bad. I thot, gosh, i gotta be careful advising ... for without some kind of real understanding ... my thots and words could get a young woman in more trouble, if she aint really ready for that.
Now, my Daughter ... i hold no punches ... she gets it straight ... no chaser ... but everyone's Daughter aint ready for that.
So it's hard for me to contain myself sometimes, on this topic, for i'm accustomed to saying what i want.
Bottom line though ... is that there are a lot of Sisters putting up with no good men ... and they should stop.
These grown men are not your children and you should not be trying to raise them or look like their Mommas.
If a man mistreats you, and you remain with him, you are giving him permission to mistreat you for forever.
If you have young children, and are trying to date / hold on to a man, you really don't wanna hear nuth'n i gotta say.
I have some very strong opinion regarding such things, and if you put your stuff on the table, it's not my fault alone if you hear it.
In fact, the reason most won't put such on the table, is because they know they're being foolish to begin with.
They don't want anyone to know, or want to hear anyone say, leave him ... because as much as it hurts, you like it on some level.
I've found that most women will continue to be mistreated, even if those closest to them beg them to make it stop.
For folk that go into the fire, eyes wide open, knowing what they will receive ... is a strength and not a weakness.
They're just using their own strength, against their own self.
I don't wanna hear that weak and fragile talk ... from Sisters that are taking whoopn'z from grown *** men ... please.
Men hit hard ... and if you can take that ... live to talk about it, go back to it, and wait for more ... fragile shouldn't be in your vocabulary.
Don't cry fragile and weak and poor me ... and actually want sympathy ... when you're signing up for this kind of treatment.
Again ... my apologies if they are warranted ... but i promise ... i would and have said the same thing to my own Daughter and self.
You gotta love yourself ... even if no one else ever does.
Love You!
Destee