Black Relationships : Sisters - Stop Letting Men Mistreat You - You Are No Where Near as Weak and Fragile as You Claim!

[legit-writer]

wow lots of interesting viewpoints here.

 

[Destee]

If I may...you encourage black women to stop letting men mistreat them and I commend you for that. But in former posts you seem to advertise rappers like Ludacris and T.I. who's music tell men to do the exact opposite. I love black women in the deepest sense of the word love; but how can so many of you be so comfortable with what musicians say about you in music and expect anything different to resonate in your sense of self worth or how men see you? My 2 cents... -Morris

Morris Cogwell ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ...

Thanks for joining us and sharing!

The initial purpose of this thread was encouraging Sisters to stop letting men mistreat them, for i thought it was primarily Sisters acting so weak and fragile ... but i've since adjusted the targeted audience to include Brothers too ... since i hear some of yall are being mistreated too, acting as weak and fragile as Sisters. I didn't know. Fortunately though, my suggestions are applicable across the board ... none have to be left out ... no one should let anyone mistreat them ... and if they are being mistreated ... they shouldn't whine and cry about how they are not getting what they want ... but should leave the relationship. This applies to both men and women, in the absolute same manner ... neither should be acting all weak and fragile, as if they have no options or choices ... whining, crying, and begging folk to give them what they've been told or shown, they are not going to receive.

As far as musicians go, i personally never experienced any negative consequence from letting my children listen to rap music, or me listening to it. In fact, when i was raising my children, rap music warnings and condemnations were all the rage. I considered the horror stories i was hearing, and watched closely for any signs of my children (especially my Son, since he listened to it more than any other) acting out what they were hearing, but that never happened. With my Son being the oldest, he introduced us (the Family) to rap / hip hop music, and we all listened to it together on occasion. The only reason i know anything about it ... so up close and personal (actually enjoying it and playing it) ... is because of my children, growing up with them ... living their experiences with them. If my Son was ever missing a cd, he knew right where to find it, Momma! Even right now, when a rap song is playing and it has curse words in it, we'll all be singing along with the song and my children will never say the curse words (in my presence) ... that's how it is even today ... and they are adults, certainly free to do as they please now ... but they give me the highest regard and respect ... and they grew up listening to this music.

I've read that there are some children and even adults, that experience negative impacts from rap / hip hop music ... internalize the lyrics, etc. ... and if that is your experience ... or anyone's ... then keeping this, and all things that impact you negatively, out of your life ... to the degree that you can ... should probably be a goal.

If there are women and/or men staying with folk that mistreat them, because they heard a rap song ... then ... well ... they probably shouldn't listen to rap songs ... though i think ... if not for the rap song, they'd be blaming their choices and behavior on the rain ... anything other than their own self.

If you do a search on the forum, you can find discussions talking about the negative impact of music.

If you have more questions of me, feel free to ask, and welcome again!

Much Love and Peace.



Destee

 

[Sekhemu]

... Brother Sekhemu ... whatchoo doin?! ...

how you gonna have me stumble'n all over my words ... in the middle of a serious topic ...

oh gosh ... wait ... what was the topic again ... ??? ...

you gonna just put my crush all out on front street and stuff ...

what i'm spoze to do ... get nekked rite here ... ?? ... ...

oh gosh ... okay ... wait ... let me breathe ... *hyper-ventilate'n* ...

i love you ... thanks so much for your love ...



Destee

Lol (actually salivating) @ get nekked rite here

 

[Destee]

Lol (actually salivating) @ get nekked rite here

Destee

 

[Chevron Dove]

...Men's approach are from personal experiences as well. Men just don't ke up stories out of thin air ya know. Men can be trapped by women as well. For instance, men can knock up a woman and bounce without giving child support, but a woman can poke a hole in a condom or lie about being on birth control and TRAP a man with an unwanted pregnancy and 18 years of payments. It goes both ways. The causes are not equal, but the effects are the same.

... All you are talking about is the DIFFERENT way in which women are done wrong vs men being done wrong. There are a million ways that men and women can be trapped in relationships.

Sorry, I just don't equate the situation you described as being equal. I just don't see being stuck with child support as the same as being stuck with being pregnant and being a teenager. But yes, I do believe you in that women do trick men and become pregnant and I see this as a trap, but I just don't see it as being the same as a young woman being trapped and faced with the horrible decision of whether to drop her baby off at a day care center to have to go and work or etc. A man does not have to deal with this kind of issue. It is just not the same. I can imagine that it is hard for a man to find out he's been trapped though and have to pay child support and I wouldn't wish that on no man.

But in regards to Sister Destee, she has already stated that she has expanded to include men too, that feel they are trapped into relationships. But again, I have a hard time understanding this moreso, from a man being trapped. I do undertand how men can be unfairly manipulated and trapped but not from the level of which this thread is addressing though. I am not discounting what you say though, just have a hard time seeing it right now.