Black Women : Sisters - Can You Discuss Your Collective Failures? - (Only Sisters Post Please)

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by Destee, Mar 9, 2010.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Peace and Blessings Sisters,

    Can you discuss your collective failures without mentioning Brothers?

    That is the challenge of this thread ... so please ... stay very focused ... this is about Sisters and their collective failures.

    For the sake of this discussion, collective failure could mean any thing, choice, or decision that Sisters do or make specifically, that impacts our people negatively.

    I think it's important for each group of us to be able to do this, independent of the other, and have started a like thread for Brothers.

    Please don't post in theirs, and i'm asking them not to post in yours.

    Remember, this is about Sisters, not Brothers, so please stay focused.

    I'm really looking forward to your perspective on the failures.

    Of course you're welcome to say Sisters have no collective failures, if that's what you think.

    It will be interesting to see how many things match in each thread (i.e. Sisters see it in themselves, and Brothers see it in themselves).

    Correcting our collective failures requires identifying them, and i hope this effort leads us in that direction.

    Love You and Thanks in Advance!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    I would say enabling.


    ....enabling our men and our children.


    ...equating being "loving" and "supporting" with making excuses for them and/or aiding them in not being who they can be to their potential.
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I think it's a collective failure on Sister's part to perm their hair.

    It sends a message to our Daughters, that they are not pretty, the way God made them.

    It encourages our Sons to think pretty is the long stringy stuff, in effect, making them want the pretty women (with long stringy hair).

    We spend collectively billions to maintain these permed hair dos, when we're the most economically depressed people in the world.

    I'll probably think of more consequences for this choice Sisters make, and add them later, maybe.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I think it's a collective failure for Sisters to give themselves (their sex) away so easily.

    We get into relationships with people who have not proven themselves worthy, and we are often left holding the bag.

    We don't require any thing of substance, prior to engaging in sexual acts, oftentimes.

    Even animals in the wild, require the male to at least be able to provide, protect, or something before giving up her stuff.

    We don't do that. We give our stuff to men that can't do any of those things, and cry after the fact.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'd add disrespecting each other as women. Talking about other SiStren...gossiping and the like. Not Honoring our Mother's, Aunts, Grandmother's by not Honoring and respecting self[ves].

    Part of Honoring those elder Sistren who came before us like the Tubmans, Truths, Nzinga's etc.... by following their lead.

    Giving our money over to the asians for nails.

    Going for the "one night stand"

    M.E.
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  6. blackeyes

    blackeyes Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    failed to teach their sons to love and respect black women
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Ohhh Sister True ... yours reminded me of a great collective failure on the part of Sisters.

    Disrespecting each other to the degree that we'd sleep with another Sister's Man.

    We are so wrong for that ... especially when we know he's involved with another Sister ... but wanna cry when we are done the same way.

    We really need to check ourselves on this one.

    Love You and Thanks!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I think collective failure when i hear Sisters say ...

    "I aint got hardly no women friends, most of my friends are men."

    This will often be said, even by women who have daughters.

    There is something really wrong with that, when Sisters share so many of the same challenges, heartbreaks, etc., we should be each other's closest friends.

    But for some reason ... we've been conditioned to not trust each other, respect each other, depend on each other.

    This is kinda like Sister True's collective failure as well ... just elaborating a little.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    It's a collective failure for Sisters to use their children against their Father, like a pawn in a game.

    To tell a child his Father is nothing, or to talk ugly about the Father, you are talking ugly about the child ... that is how they internalize it.

    To make it difficult for the Father to see the child, just because he no longer wants to be with you. That's wrong.

    If you are blessed with a man that still wants to be in his child's life, after the two of you are no longer together ... don't deny that blessing to the child.

    The child needs it. In fact, you're aiding in the crippling of your child, if you play this game.

    Only the child gets hurt in the end.

    Let the Father spend as much time with the child as he can and wants.

    Even if he isn't paying child support ... don't use the child's well being as a pawn in your emotional game.

    Spending time with the baby may be equally or more important to the child's well being, than the money, in the long run.

    Don't deny the child its God Given Right to a Father.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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  10. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank You for the elaborating cause you know when the FEELINGS are high for me, the ability to express my thoughts the [w]rite way is severely compromised. Your elaborations are Right on point and aligned with my thinking:toast:

    How about we also trusted that white woman and participated in the "women's" liberation movement. We told ourselves that we "don't need a man" and that we "could do for self, by ourselves" AND THEN...

    We proceeded to BEhave AS IF.....

    that ish was TRUE!
    oh the shame...

    We sent our children to those schools allowing them to be taught by white folks, and those practicing acts of immorality (i.e teachers who were also homosexuals, pedophiles).

    We practice the thinking and behaving taught and upheld by the very shystem we know has raped, maimed, hung, starved, murdered, brutalized, terrorized, robbed and much more and in every area of lived experience for over 500 years....This practice shows up in how we do business with each other..capitalizing, markups, cause business demands that we "make a profit".

    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
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