There's nothing like a sister in my opinion. But then, I'm extremely partial toward them and rightfully so, because I am one, and I'm glad that I am.
Sisters cover the spectrum when it comes to expressing ourselves. I make no excuses for the ones who are angry and exhibit misplaced rage. As sure as there are some who will stab another sister in the back--figuratively speaking--there are also those who will breathe the breath of life into you when you need them to.
Are there ignorant and ill-behaved sisters out there? Sure there are, but that shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone or even make you angry or upset at them because feeling that way won't change anything. Those of us who think we are better adjusted emotionally and spiritually as Black women should function as sages and healers for our "ill" sisters. The disease that many of us suffer from didn't take hold of us over night and we won't rid it over night. It's a process, one that takes patience, understanding, love and support from us and our healthy brothers.
In our struggle and quest as Black/African people for a rightful place in this world, it does absolutely no good to point the finger at each other as though we are separate and unequal. We must teach each other, show each other "the way" and we can do that by example. We need to learn how to be persuasive and coach each other from a loving spirit and less critical one. This doesn't mean that we must ignore when wrongs have been done, no, wrongs need to be addressed. But when they are, we need to be prepared to offer suggestions and provide examples of better ways to replace negative behavior.
When a sister does something to hurt another sister, how many of us will make an effort to tell that sister what she is doing is wrong and she should stop?
How many of us (sisters) will participate in gossip about another sister that would be hurtful and harmful if she was to know what was being said about her?
How many Black mothers are raising their Black daughters to learn why it's important not to deliberately hurt another sister for dumb reasons?
How many of us are teaching each other in the ways of how to build strong and lasting sister-relationships, even if it means that telling each other the truth may hurt some feelings?
How many brothers are willing to step forward to help build healthier relationships with sisters by doing less finger pointing and being more open and honest about their feelings when she does things that hurt him, disappoint him or disillusion him? How many brothers know how to communicate with sisters in that way or are willing to hang in there to learn how to?
And to anyone who thinks that sisters hate each other, you're wrong! Grant it you may have seen some things that lead you to believe this is true, but it is absolutely and without a doubt in my mind false. Personally, I have wonderful sister friends, some whom I've been fortunate to meet over the internet like Destee. I have sister friends that date back to when I was 8-9 years old. This is no cliche', but my BEST friends are sisters and one of them is my daughter! I love me and I see me in them and them in me. I don't have the same connection with women of other races even though some I have called "friend."
This is not intended to make excuses for Black women, but this has not been an easy journey for us. As other women, our estrogen levels spike and drop throughout the month and it can give people the impression that we're crazy at times. I know....I've been there!
There have been times when I haven't been as patient or understanding of a sister and have even been critical. But thank goodness that passes eventually and I'm able to correct myself. But even if I don't always agree with my sisters, my love for sisters is far longer than any trivial disagreement that we might have.
I'm extremely territorial when it comes to sisters! I'm not going to let anyone beat up on her and get away with it! I will never take sides with anyone white against her. I will give a brother a little lee-way but there's a limit to even that if he goes on too long about her to the point of judging all Black women by her ill behavior.
So, that's my .02 worth.
Queenie