Black Women : Sisterhood among black women

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by karmashines, May 2, 2006.

  1. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    What can be done to improve sisterhood among black women? I posted on another thread in real life I've noticed some of us PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY harm one another; getting into unnecessary fights and calling one another out of our names. Only one person in that thread thus far expanded on this particular issue, which is why I wanted to make a separate thread dedicated to it.

    As a black woman, have you also had problems in this area? What do you think are the causes of a lack of sisterhood, and is there anything that can be done to prevent it? There was the Million Man March for black men... should something similar be done for black women that would be on the same scale?

    Also, for anyone that might be wondering the thread I'm referencing to, it is right here: (Human Issues and Black Progress)

    http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=41782

    The men of Destee are welcome to respond too, though it is preferred that discussions are geared in the context of what you may have observed how BW treat one another from your experiences.
     
  2. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    This is something I have touched on as well in these myriad of discussions.

    One sister here said "We seem fine to me", as it pertains to Black women.

    Something is obviously wrong with this, when so many Sisters claim to not stand each other.

    If you can't stand each other, how do you expect us Brothers--or anyone else in the world, for that matter--to be able to stand you?

    It's a phenomena that's blatant and overt, and not the slightest bit inconspicous, as very few Black women seek to hide their contempt for everything and everyone.

    I think one of the main things that hinders Black women from attaining fruitful friendships with other Sisters, relationships with Black men, and other things that they strive to attain, is their apparent inability to look within themselves to see their own faults.

    Black women don't seem to take constructive criticism very well; instead of using it as a tool to grow, it either gets casually dismissed, or used as a reason to lash out and fire back at their perceived "accusor".

    I have seen this be made manifested both on here, as well as in real life arenas (work, in the street, within my family, within my past relationships, etc.)

    The Black woman is going to have to come to terms with her Self, if she expects to have fulfilling interactions with others.

    PEACE
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Karmashines ... I have always had very positive, encouraging, warm, and wonderful relationships with Sisters (and Brothers too). I base it simply on what i bring to the table, as i usually get the same in return.

    I'm sure other Sisters will share their thoughts.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    This Sister bash'n aint gonna be happening over and over and over again.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. Mayn

    Mayn Banned MEMBER

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    I have had several long term, warm, loving, and supportive relationships with other sistas. I've also had some experiences with my sistas that were less positive. The wonderful thing about these less than positive experiences is that we could at least talk about our misunderstandings and decide how we wanted to go from there.

    That's one of the many things I love about Black women. We're not shy about talkin. LOL No matter what happens, we're not afraid to talk about it and cry about it together, if need be--at least this has been my experience. Sometimes, we can't talk about it when the rip is happening, but sooner or later, it's comes out. Of course, this depends on the relationship.

    One of the ways to get past some of the rough spots we have with each other is to just tell that sista that you're not going to fight with her--no matter what. When things cool off, tell her that you love her or that you want to talk about whatever happened and remind her that we can't afford to fight. If she's not the type of person you can say these things to because of her own pain, then it's just best to leave her alone, but still be willing to help her out if she needs it. Sometimes, this must be done from a distance, but never abandon her.

    If more Black women knew that we ALWAYS have each other, no matter what else we don't have, we would be rich beyond measure.

    Whatever we do, we should not fight our sistas or try to cause them more pain because the only reason why a sista lashes out is because she's in pain.
     
  6. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That sister who thought 'we seem fine' was I. Maybe it's because I have sought professional help in dealing with issues in my life that I don't have a lot of these hangups... granted i'm human... i know i have issues/hang-ups and the like... that's part of living. however...


    I’m of the opinion that a lot of these issues have nothing to do with being a black woman and everything with being insecure and unsure of yourself... personal deficiencies that manifest themselves into these levels of disrespect... and that is what those things are... disrespectful...

    i have said here before i see a lot of stereotyping and finger pointing in this venue... as brotha zay pointed out in a another thread... instead of us focusing on the fact that each BM and BW we come into contact with is an individual and his/her problems--problems that came about b/c something happened in THAT particular person's life-- can only be solved on an individual basis and not through collective grouping.

    Black men do this... Black women do that... it sounds no different that white folk going Black folk do this...


    however... i respect sister karma's some...

    a million woman march???? sounds nice however as with the million man march... i believe people would leave their respective jobs/families/lives for one day, or for the duration of the trip to and fro, and at the end of the venture then would return back to their respective...

    i don't know what needs to be done... however i think the solution will not come through a group gathering but a personal, spiritual awakening...

    people, in general, need to be centered to/within themselves or at least maintain a level that allows them to function in positively, productively, and respectfully... until that happens to the individual they will consistently lash out at others to find their center...

    if that makes any sense...

    btw.. i have had one long term loving reciprocal relationship with a BW... i do not feel as if that reinforces anything about black women not being able to get along... i have had only one b/c i like to keep my circle small... i have a few friends other than that.. they have not been long term b/c i haven't known them long... however they have promise... if they don’t' work out then i think that me and said person weren't compatible... NOT me and BW are incompatible...
     
  7. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    there is very little that pertains to black women that does not also apply to black men.
    yes, we are different but we are far more alike than not alike.

    we all need to deal with self.
     
  8. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    sisterhood...

    a million black women on the mall,everybody say-C-A-T-F-I-G-H-T,black women can barely get along at the bus stop,i ain't tryin to be funny but sisters hate each other more then they hate white women.
     
  9. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i don't know about that...


    :thinking: :thinking: :thinking: but i hate that comment.... :uzi: :bam: ... lol...
     
  10. uplift19

    uplift19 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think in general black women need to look for the best within ourselves and each other.

    I think women can generally be "catty" and it has nothing to do with us being Black. We just have different cultural expressions of this. I've seen white women in corporate America go at each other, but not in an all out street brawl.

    It is self-hatred that allows us to only see the worse in ourselves and each other, especially our own sisters (and brothers). There was a Million Woman March in Philly in 1997 which I attended. I wouldn't call it life-changing, although I do remember the powerful speakers and all the sisters assembled there.

    My family mainly consists of women...I did not grow up with my father present and most of my aunts are divorced. I generally have male friends, although I am trying to get better with sisterhood. To me it just depends on people I have similar interets with, not gender. I tend not to hang around women who are ALWAYS talking about men and other "female issues" I would consider personal. I don't like being around someone who will always tell me when they have cramps or hot flashes..it's just TMI to me. I mean I understand sharing to a certain degree but when EVERY conversation is about PMS it gets a bit annoying.
     
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