Black Women : Sistas, would You Stop Weating This Dress?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by river, Nov 5, 2009.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    It's just a sleeveless sun dress I bought at a flea market in New York. It comes down way past my knees and doesn't showany cleavage at all. But the upper part is form fitting and takes the shape of my breast.

    Now I just had an experience that made it necessary for me to sit down and get re-centered. When the transportation I use came to pick me up the driverexpressd his appreciation for my dress. He has in the past expressed an interest in seeing me after hours but this time instead of ignoring him I said your wife might have something to say about that. I did not know if he had a wife but this was a way of finding out. Well he did not deny having a wife but instead said he would not tell her. He kept telling me how much fun he could have with me and even told me he would come by my house at six o'****. What he did was give me an open proposition to commit adultery with him.

    This is a small town. Jobs aren't a dime a dozen for Black men in this town so I'm not going to report him. Plus smaddy might decide he's breathing too much sir around here.

    I don't want to stop wearing this dress. It's cool. It's comfortable and it doesn't really show a lot of skin. Plus I bought five of them. But if wearing it makes men fell free to make illicit propositions wouldn't not wearing it anymore be the right thing to do?

    But, sistas , more importantly, why is it when men do things like this why do we look for something we did to invite it? Why do I feel shaken up and have to re-center to regain my self esteem as if there's something in me the man recognized as fair game, f^k marerial? Most men in this town are extremely respectful of me and wouldn't dream of being so bodacious. If there is something in my personality that makes men feel free thee isn't anything I can do about it because I am that I am and I will do what I will do. I know this. So why did it bother me so much? Why am I even thinking about ditching my clothes?
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister River ... i don't know why you're feeling the way you are, it might speak to something else inside of you, perhaps an unpleasant previous experience.

    On the surface, i'd not think badly of what this Brother did or said. In fact, knowing me, i'd considerate it a compliment all day long. If I continued to get this kind of response from men, i'd have one of those 5 dresses on every single day! Shooo ... people would be saying ... does she have any other clothes?!

    I think it's quite natural for men to be attracted to women, and vice-versa, and for them to speak on this when moved in their Spirit to do so. That's all he did, just spoke on your beauty, your alluring self, flirting a little ... yes ... but none of that rises to the level of adultery. We really can't accuse or convict the Brother of that, for he might have known you'd say no to begin with, allowing him to have some light flirtateous banter with a pretty Sister. Remember, the man is only married, not dead.

    The situation could not possibly go any further than you'd allow, which he immediately saw was not far at all. End of story.

    No Sister, i'd wear the dress every single day! If you just gotta throw it away, what size is it? Send it to me! :bellydance:

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    report his dumb arse.....

    he is not supposed to be hitting on anybody he is supposed to be working.
    the problem with black women is they are so easy on the losers.
    this promotes bad behavior. next time he may rape somebody.

    there is a time and a place to be sexual and there is a time when it is not right.
    a man knows when is the correct time. he is out of line.

    do not put yourself in danger. stop the losers.
    snitch!
     
  4. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Hey sista Destee,

    Thanks for the perspective. . You got me laughing now. See what I wanted him to do was say no I ain't got no wife and be telling the truth. I came out in my little dress and I'm sporting a shameless afro and all his Black self sees is feminine beauty and he don't care that I'm carrying a white cane blind in one eye and cain't see out the other and he have to say almost every word twice cuz I cain't hear weell but he don't care Recently in Chicago a man flirted with me, even told me he was falling in love with me then came back later and apologized because he forgot I am blind. I told him but you did not forget that I am a woman.

    Love you back, dear sista:kiss:
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Yeah brotha james. All Black men are potential rapists. I oughta turn all yawl in. Let the pinktoes gitcha. :D

    I know a lady who was being bothered by one a yawl and a pinktoes told him if I catcha bothering Miss Virginia again I'ma shoot you. Wouldn't that be grand? White man shotts a Black man to protect the honor of a Black woman.
     
  6. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wear your dress and forget/report him. He knew when he opened his mouth he was gonna offend you. I agree with JFP, you let him off easy and now he will surely sting someone else.
     
  7. SwtT

    SwtT Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    James and Bootzey ya'll trippin

    River,


    That was a HUGE compliment....yeah he shouldn't have stepped out of his boundaries but hey...a compliment is a compliment


    Im with Destee, I would be wearing a different dress everyday!! :laugh:
     
  8. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Hey I'm leaning toward Destee too. Although I would not go so far as to call his words a compliment. Telling me I'm attractive is one thing. Suggesting a time for us to get together is quite another. My emotions were calmed down before I started this thread else I wouldn't have been able to write with any coherence. But my question remained why do we women sometimes feel shame when men proposition us so boldly as this man did. .

    I know one thing I cannot control the amount of trouble this brotha might get in if I report him. It would be out of my hands. Right now it is in my hands.
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    If he didn't bodly harm you and loved your dress no reason why you should feel
    any less but sport another dress I agree with the other sistahs it was a good
    compliment with a bit of flirtation wear yo Dresses sis.....
     
  10. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    do not enable.....

    i suppose rape is the ultimate compliment then?
     
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