Black People : Signs of sexual abuse a must read........part one

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by nevar, Aug 21, 2008.

  1. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel it is very important to talk to our children and be open with them. I have taught my kids at four years of age. That noone including me can touch your private it is off limits. We as parents tend to let T.V and other means teaching our children. I had a conversation with a female and she informed me that others girls were sexually molested. I was shocked because I felt I was alone in this. For along time I kept my abuse a secret until I came here, and is ready to share my story. I will tell you what too look for so your children wont confuse that sex is love.

    Imagine you leaving your girls to a caretaker never thinking that harm will come to them. Your young she puts you in the room with her son. We are suppose to be in our bed, but he puts you in his. Im scared I dont know what is about to happen. What is he doing moving my hands down below what can I do. I wanted to scream but couldnt I was frozen with fear. The thing I didnt know what to make of it. I knew it was wrong. Everytime I moved my hand he would put it back. Where's my mommy I want my mommy.
    No mommy to comfort me from him. He told me to never tell nobody and I did just that. I cant remember how long he molested me but I was glad we no longer had to go there. Growing up I was confused my body was going thru things I couldnt explain. The sexual abuse wasnt a one time experience it continued until I was thirteen........

    I kept a very painful secret of molestation. I finally told her of the incident when I was eight years old. Her reaction was very disappointing to me. It just wasnt the kind of response a thirteen would expect. She wanted me to give it too God. She was a very religious woman but at my age I couldnt nor understood what she meant. I felt like she was no help to me at all. I begin to harbor some resentment towards her. I became unruly, disobedient and had sex at a young age. Sex was my escape or was it.

    I looked for love in all the wrong places. They all said the same story and I bought it. My mom or noone couldnt tell me nothing. Smoking, drinking and sexing was me. My body needed that fix that high. Never experienced an orgasm didnt know what that was. Im sorry if you think this is gross for what I done. Im trying to save a life from being confused. Im giving honesty. People like to think this isnt the time or place yes it is. When your child is promiscious and has lots of babies. There is a reason why Im not saying all cases are like that. Ones that been sexually abused say that they aim to please others, and satisfy their needs. As I got older I realized I was sick needed help. I was abused by male and female. That was a very tramatic experience for me as well. Because my abuser was too close to home. And my mom kept saying give it too Jehovah.

    He couldnt save me I was meant to never be saved. I wanted to die and leave this [email protected] world. All because he wanted pleasure from a little child.
    I have to go now but more is too follow. I want to say when I first came here I felt opposition because I wrote about sex here in the beginning. You have to look up my older writings to see what I am talking about. My style of writing has changed as well. I probably wont be able to finish what I started here, but will tell my story thru my blogs. Parents I hope my story will encourage you to talk with your kids about sex. Happiness for me just have started.........to be continued.......
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Nevar ... this is so very powerful, so very revealing, so very painful to even read, and i know it must have been, to live it.

    I am honored, humbled, and amazed at the courage it took, to say the above. To make it plain and clear for our babies out here. To let every Sister know, that she is not alone. To help us all recognize, that the behavior we're seeing in our children, is oftentimes rooted in something totally unrelated, that would break our hearts as parents, if we knew.

    Your Courage Sister. Thank You.

    This is what this community is about. Lives are transformed here. You are evidence of that. You came here one way, and look at you now! :D ... you came in talking of sex, promoting it, encouraging it ... and look at you now !!! ... speaking the truth about it, sharing how it all began for you ... providing clear warnings for us all.

    I'm honored beyond compare.

    I can't quit talking.

    Simply in awe.

    Far too many of us ... Sisters ... have this same story to tell.

    We are so wounded, walking around trying to look whole, not even able to acknowledge our own pain ... manifesting the pain in so many different ways.

    Taught to be quiet about it.

    Thank you Sister, for not being quiet anymore.

    Much Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Thank You Sister Nevar!

    We are many and many memories are hiding somewhere in the back of our minds or manifesting itself in our actions. When my children was young i found it very difficult to leave my children with anyone but my Momma. But sometimes you have that emergency moment when momma aint available and you need someone right away to look after your children. Ohhhh the haunting thoughts that run rampage in the mind. When i would return i would check every inch of their precious little body....asking all kinds of questions, looking deep into their eyes for any sign of confusion or awkwardness. Til this day i'm still checking, looking and asking questions. I never want to imagine my children experiencing the same as i did. Yet whenever I leave them with someone other than my Mom, the scene plays back in my mind. I'm even suspicious of other children. Some children like to explore their curiosity and/or role play back what has happen to them with other children.

    There's so many ways children are being abused, and i've considered them all. I've manage to build an open relationship with my children. Letting them know that nothing is ever to horrible to tell me. I've let them know that sometimes i may be disappointed and angry at their actions, but we will work through it. It could never stop me from loving them.

    Your openness to discuss this is so needed and valuable. It promotes awareness, precautions, understanding, and strength. It teaches us how to protect our children and let others know, we are not alone!

    Thank you Sister Nevar!:love:

    :heart:
     
  4. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I look back on my past writings and you can see i was still pleasuring others and not myself. I couldnt give it too God when I was a child but now as an adult I have........and my life is much better. i have a wonderful man who is teaching the meaning of love and not just giving sex. im not ashame to say he has taught me for the first time the art of making love and saying goodbye to my sex. i feel like i owe him alot because he was the first man to care about myself and stop abusing myself.........Destee there are other sisters here I've connected with that has been sexual abused........and we are strong women of today.....so thanks for letting me grow here....
     
  5. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    sista Moon thank you for your love......
     
  6. YungMiss

    YungMiss Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Many children, both girls and boys are molested at a young age. Alot of them listen to their abusers pleas to keep it a secret and as a child they dont understand that they are being hurt and that not all secrets should be left untold. The best way to prevent this is to screen your childrens enviroments and interaction with others. Many predators are the very people who are generous to you and smile in your face or even offer to watch your children.

    Another thing thats important in this situation is to watch age groups, you shouldn't leave your 5 year old child with a 13 year old because you dont know what that child has been exposed to.

    It's also good to talk to your children about what they did that day at the baby sitters/ friends/family's house because especially at a young age children tend to be very detailed and descriptive and if anything sounds abit iffy check into it. The parents should also make their children familiar with their body and what places are private and, if those places are touched instruct your children to tell you immedately.

    Unfortunately, the biggest problem is that after a child has found enough strength to tell their parents, the parents dont beleive them or they dont console them and give them any assistance. This makes the child feel worse about the situation as if it were their fault and, they feel bad because they told the "secret" that the abuser made them promise to keep. If in any event your child tells you and/or shows signs of being abused then you should investigate the issue.

    If you suspect it has happened then get the child some professional help. If you are not sure about the situation then you should still take the child to a professional to be screened or do research on the symptoms and observe your child's behavior and still seek professional help for that individual.

    Being molested is a serious matter that can scar your child for life. It can lead to them; staying to themselves, having low trust for everyone they know and meet, self blame, low self-esteem, self hate, hating others who remind them of their abuser, acting out/obtaining bad habits such as obsessive drinking, smoking, drugging, partying etc. , performing unhealthy sex acts ( sex with strangers, pornography, prostitution etc), becoming a sexual abuser to others (their children/ others children) and many other things.

    The fact is anyone can be molested despite age, race, location, or even finincial status etc. On the same note anyone can be a predator so keep in tune with your children and always take precaution of others interation with them. No one deserves to go through sexual abuse (child or adult) and its definately not fair to children because they dont know whats being done to them and how it will effect them later in life. Children depend on adults to keep them safe because they dont always know others intentions nor can they protect themselves against those who are taking advantage of them. So know the signs and strive to keep everyone safe you'd really be saving a life and that alone should be more then enough encouragement.


    Blessings to Sister Nevar for her strength to speak on this subject.. You are loved and admired :blowkiss:

    Lol when I entered this thread i would have been the 2nd reply by the time I finished writing and editing im number 5 sigh..lol
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    not much i can add to this but thank you for sharing this and giving the awareness
    of these things against our children
     
  8. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Signs without words

    I'd like to add to Nevar's post with added indicators of molestation.

    • Bed wetting, nightmares
    • Inappropriate sexual knowledge or play with dolls/friends for the age
    • Regressive age behavior, such as baby talk, sucking thumbs, tantrums
    • Preoccupation with genitals and or sexual play including masturbation
    • Hints through comments or actions
    • Difficulty concentrating, withdrawn,
    • Accident prone,
    • Running away, dark art images
    • Depression, anxiety, hypervigilence, increased startled response, fear
    • Reluctance to undress and shying away from touch
    • Aggressive behavior and change in school performance
    • Suggestive behavior with adults or other children
    • Dissassociation, low self-esteem or self-hate
    Child sexual abuse is prevalent in our society, with 1 /3 females and 1/5 males being sexually abused before the age of 18. Unfortunately, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is the lasting scar of the events and will affect many choices and behaviors in years to come.

    As Nevar mentioned, finding sex at an early age is part of the coping mechanisms for many young children having survived this. I use the word survived because suicides amongst sexually abused children & adult women are high.

    As adults survivors, many find it difficult to create and define personal boundaries with others. In intimate relationships, we may attract "predators" that continue to reinforce low self-worth, emotional, physical or sexual abuse. PTSD can create a set of subconscious triggers to self-harming behavior and choices.

    Nevar, I share your pain and understand the weight that is carried. As a child I experienced emotional trauma from a parent, sexual trauma from older cousins, and was self-destructive by the age of 13. To this day, I have visited numerous counsellors in vain, seeking a way out of what I deem to be cycles of misery. Although I have a life of material plentitude what I do not have is peace. Althought I have many beautiful gifts, insights and a good brain, what I do not have are close friends, people I trust and PEACE.
    I am sometimes terrified of having to leave my son with others, and I desire more than anything to stay with him and protect him so that no harm can come to him.

    As a teenager I gave up my virginity to the wrong somebody, way too early not believing I ought to say no, and then later when I dated my first Black male he slapped me and assaulted me. My parents blamed me for the assault, grounding me and keeping me from pressing charges. This was a pattern that continues to this day. In future relationships, as a young adult I often picked me that were controlling, jealous and abusive in some way. My parents sided with them, and to this day supported a domestic situation that I claimed was not healthy. Unfortunately, I don't like to talk about this too much because I have found that predators find your weaknesses and exploit them even further. Others will look into your life and find reasons to blame you for the hurt.

    I sleep alot to shut the world out. Sometimes I can go for months without participating in life. I get agrophobic about leaving my house and the difference between the authentic empowered me, and the girl who does not heal is mountains apart. Trauma to the sacred region has so many unpleasant effects that unless you have been there it's impossible to really understand.

    My hair along my temples began to turn white when I was 17, and sometimes when I look in the mirror I see a sadness that haunts my soul. I cry so hard for what I could have been or have become if I wasn't such a mess inside. I became an over achiever early in life as a secondary coping mechanism seeking approval and safety. And truly I was very talented, some of the gifts remain, but they haunt me too because I was unable to use them to be self-sufficient. That would take a heaping portion of self-worth and self-belief that I only hope will come with diligence.
    And I cope with manifested physical dis-ease that makes the past my today even when I want it to just go away.

    Parents need to keep their eyes open, and society needs to allow parents to be the actual guardians /caretakers of their children. In Sweden / Denmark, both parents get one years maternity and there are an abundance of daycares right at the work places. It is a crime that parents are forced to leave their children with others in order to work, or provide. In my circumstances my folks were socializing, and leaving myself and my sister to play with older cousins. The first time they assaulted me was on my seventh birthday, and the times after that they were invited to babysit.
    I try to understand how my parents, mostly my father never knew. I try to understand why they keep ignoring the truth and blaming me for inciting violence against me. There are some things I will never know. It is my deepest desire to keep my own son safe from harm and to do what my parents never could - believe in him and always support his truth.

    I almost forgot, that I have a theory of how this ties into the NWO, the Luciferians and world control. If I may I'd like to present it here briefly. The 13 families have long used Tavistock and other organizations to understand the psychological programming of human beings. Trauma is used either on a one to one basis or towards a mass populace in order to reprogram a mind. Now, consider this: the catholic church is the seat of child molestation with it's sanctified and open practices of child abuse and perversion. A good movie to check out is "Deliver Us From Evil". According to this website the stats are:


    Top 10 Largest Highly International Religious Bodies


    These are religious bodies in which at least 30% of their world membership live outside the "core country" (country with the largest number of members).
    Religious BodyNumber of Adherents
    • Catholic Church 1,100,000,000
    • Sunni Islam 875,000,000
    • Eastern Orthodox Church 225,000,000
    • Anglican Communion 77,000,000
    • Assemblies of God 50,000,000
    • Seventh-day Adventists 16,811,519
    • Jehovah's Witnesses 16,500,000
    • Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 12,275,822
    • New Apostolic Church 10,260,000
    • Ahmadiyya 10,000,000
    • Bahai World Faith 6,000,000

    http://www.adherents.com/adh_rb.html#International

    Now as you can see, most of these religions are Catholic derivative, a Christian organization. With this many people giving over their psychic energies, monetary support and mental belief, the organized power is incredible. And whether adherents support child abuse individually, they are placing their matrix energy behind Sigils that do. I believe that the rape of children and womben is the spiritual warfare, the harvesting of innocent and golden spiritual energy that would HEAL the earth. By harvesting and destroying it, the NWO crushes it's opponents before it can do battle. As we've talked about here on the forum, the hatred of womben originates from Setian tribes, and the oppression of the family is realized through fascist monetary control, religious ideology and political legislation.

    The church though is what I believe ties much of this together, because it goes directly to the source of physical and mental manifestation - it seeks the soul. Emancipation must come through a collective separation of our souls from these destroyers.
    There is a term in magick that refers to a collective mind / body actually taking on a life of it's own because of the energy that supports it. It is these life forms mankind has co-created that defeat and destroy us today; attacking the most vulnerable.

    Last rant on this for a hot minute.
     
  9. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I give to you ...a standing ovation ...^5 to ya sis, as we support each other.
    Much love sis!
     
  10. Son of RA

    Son of RA STAFF STAFF

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    Thanks everyone!!! This is vital information. It takes a lot of courage to talk about such abuse.
     
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