Black Relationships : Show & Prove

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by panafrica, Jul 12, 2005.

  1. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've been viewing the forums over the last few days, and have seen some intriguing discussions on how females in the black community chose their men. Several of the brothers in these threads: (Sun Ship, JamesfrmPhilly, Samurai, etc) have stated in a variety of ways that African American women often petition for men who are educated, intelligient, wealthy, and ambitious. These sisters advertise that they want a man to be faithful and respectful. However in reality these same women often pursue thugs, who exhibit none of these qualities. When this contradiction (asking for a nice man, but overlooking nice men for thugs) is pointed out to sisters, the overwhelming majority deny that this occurs. Rather than start another back and forth discussion of the truthfulness of this observation, I have a proposal for the members of Destee: Poetry is suppose to be the voice of the people. It is a medium where the average man/woman can express their inner most secrets and desires. I think everyone who doesn't believe thugs are glorified and pursued by more black women than responsible man...check the poetry forums on this website! Click on any poetry forum, and run a search for the word "thug". Then run another search for "consious brother". For the latter you might have to play around with a few different names; however, I think my point should be clear. Let's see how many poems by black women on this website are dedicated to showing love to the "Thug" or the "Nice Guy"? The results should be interesting!
     
  2. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    well if you search my earlier posts.. youd find that all of em are dedicated to the nice guy.. teh one that makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time as he recited ideas of philosophy.. and business!


     
  3. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Brotha Pan...

    how are you gonna say allllll that and not make room for a discussion on the subject? :lol:

    Well, you know I have to break the rule, bruh. I'm sorry. :D

    What I've learned from reading the threads on this site is that SOME Brothas really don't talk to Sistas and listen to them. AND, Sistas don't talk to Brothas and listen to them.

    James and Sun Ship, in another thread, stated that some Sistas (or a large number of Sistas, they didn't quantify it) don't GREET them in public. A simple hello, hi, how are you. They don't get that. A Sista (Riada) responded and said that she doesn't do that to every Brotha she meets in public BECAUSE she gets rude comments or questions asked of her. After that, all hell broke loose and LISTENING AND UNDERSTANDING STOPPED.

    This happens a lot with our people.

    If we listened attentively to each other then we would see the hurt and pain that each of us experience. WE can stop the hurt and pain. But, we can't stop it when we're focused on ourselves.

    I may be wrong...and if the Sistas are bold enough to agree with me if, in fact, they do again with me :D...they will tell you that sometimes conscious Brothas are BORING. I know...I know...I know....NOT YOU. But, one thing I've noticed from my years of paying attention to Sistas....THEY LOVE TO HAVE FUN.

    Brothas, share your personalities with them. Tell some jokes. Woo the Sistas. Rap to them. Mack them down. Sweet talk...pillow talk. THEY LOVE IT. If a Sista tells you she doesn't love it, SHE'S LYIN'.

    Sistas love mental stimulation. Mental play is erotic to them. James, Sun Ship, Sam and others have gotten compliments from Sistas on this web site stating how they've STIMULATED them mentally in some way. Brothas, just do that to the Sistas you meet in your community. You'll get the same response from them as you do from the Sistas on this website. And the same goes for the Sistas.

    As conscious Sistas and Brothas, we should know that ALL of us have been affected by Racism/White Supremacy. If WE understand that, then act like it. We should give each other some slack. Don't be so hard on each other. As Otis Redding used to say....TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS. :D

    The Brothas on this web site have mad personality. When James or Sun Ship go on a roll, you'd swear you were at the Apollo online. Let's share ourselves...and not just our intellect...or just our knowledge. Share US with each other and I guarantee you that you'll get a better response on and off the net. Let's get back to that part of us that is HUMANE (I'm not saying you're not humane) regardless of how our Sistas and Brothas who have been affected by racism/white supremacy behave. They'll melt in your hands...because the behaviour you see displayed is not us. We're a loving, gentle, kind people (HUMANE). Let's be that way with each other.

    Peace.
     
  4. yaphet al-wynn

    yaphet al-wynn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Interesting, pan. I've seen it too many times. Either tumbleweeds or ducking brickbats. The sista can turn this around (in my opinion) but brothers ACTUALLY DO notice the good women and holla at 'em in a respectful manner. As I said, it seems-nice guys finish last.
     
  5. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A lot of bruthaz have a problem expressing their sexuality and attraction and women get confused as to their intentions.
    I make it a point to let a woman know that I'm sexually interested FIRST, before I commence to dropping knowledge.



    Women want men they know can protect them and take care of them like a father; thugs make money and aren't afraid to get violent when necessary.

    Match that against some geek looking like Kanye West trying to explain why he's got a college degree but still has no money and is scared to walk down the street in his own neighborhood.

    A woman ain't going nowhere with you just to see you get beat down or get herself potentially raped.
    Imagine her in the salon telling the other women:
    "My man is smart as hell but he got beat up again last night"

    She wouldn't be able to show her face around their anymore.



    I used to like the drama, but now I'm too old and have too much going for me to be trying to impress some of our ghetto-fab sistaz.

    I'm no criminal and don't have time to be going in and out of jail for bricking silly negroes upside the head just because they can't take a hint and want to flex.....

    And now thanx to Tupac, these days most fools don't stop beefing with you until you kill 'em.


    Even if you don't meet her in her own environment, you still have to deal with her entire ghetto family, and her scandelous friends. Somebody is always getting hurt, getting shot, going to jail, needs some money, wondering can I hook them up with a job.


    That why I keep my @ss out the hood and mess with only middle class and foreign black women.

    It's hard though, because some of the sexiest sistaz on the planet are in some of the worst neighborhoods.
     
  6. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brother Monetary, you know what made your post so powerful and uplifting??? It's practicality...(smile!)

    Sometimes I see so much philosophy of this and that up in here, that its very evident why some folks are having difficulty in their relationships...

    Like you said, ladies love to laugh and be entertained... If you got that ability as man, then there'll never be a shortage of them knocking at your door, and leaving messages on your phone... THATS why these thug cats get over, and the intellectual brothers get left out in the cold... We want to argue that point as inference that I am saying that cats should slip into a different disguise, and become instant thug... No I AM NOT - BECAUSE YOU CAINT! If you are not a thug, you can never be one, but you can exhibit some humor, and all of us have a crazy side... Let it show... Drop the philosophy book, and be yourself...

    It is not because sisters don't want a brother to be smart and intellectual, but she doesn't want that all the time!!! Do you want that all the time, some sister cracking atoms all day??? God, what has happened to us that every freakin' nuance of every detail must be spelled out to us??? Read between the lines sometimes... Next thing you know Black folks will only know how to dance from an instruction manual...

    PEACE!~
    ISAIAH
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very interesting fine and thread here .......
     
  8. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Pan, I don't hear these ghetto divas talking about they want some intellectual brother(smile!) I hear the sisters at Destee's saying that, and that is why they are here on a daily... I think brothers at Destees are confusing these sisters with the ghetto divas in the neighborhood... Might that be a possibility???

    PEACE!~
    Isaiah
     
  9. Sun Ship

    Sun Ship Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is just one of many approaches to a "real" reality...

    Brothers Isaiah and Monetary, the fun I have had with Black women here at this site, is also replicated in real life…I appreciate the nature of your post and what has been said…but I think you brothers are mixing apples with oranges.

    First of all, there was nothing overly philosophical or metaphysical about alluding to the fact how too many sisters, because of past experiences, have become so stuck-up and prejudging of Black men that they can’t even say “good morning”. I still speak to my Black women and help them in anyway possible even with the knowledge that too many of these sisters have lost their home training and think very little of Brothers. I was dealing with the specifics of the subject…

    Laughter and frivolity is good medicine…But there is a time when you want sisters to be a little more concerned about spirituality, social issues, lifestyle choices and more important matters. Superficial fun has its place and can be even a part of more serious matters…I teach, converse and learn with humor all the time…

    If I couldn’t find a sister who is into discussing the works of Jacob Lawrence, Romare Bearden, Jazz culture or some of my other interest…be it Africanisms in diasporic culture, solar energy, vegetarianism or Pan Africanism, I’m going to still interact and have fun with Black women, in general. You can find 100’s of intelligent Black women to kick it with if you choose, just don’t talk "too much" about things worth talking about or go too deep or get too serious…like I said, “I can operate in any construct”. Based on a simple observation of life…at some point, sisters want to laugh, go somewhere and relax, and eventually come back and have some good sex…it’s that simple.

    Keep’em laughin’ and keep them moanin’…drop some knowledge strategically …keep it slightly rhetorical, opinionated and short.

    Let them be right whenever it’s not too dangerous to your mental health or overall spiritual development. Let them express that freak freely, without thinking about the consequences. Sisters want to have a freeing experience, like a novel…that’s why they like to date men who keep the ballin’ rollin’. There’s nothing wrong with this…it’s meets a man's common denominator…

    Like I said, “Fair exchange, no robbery”. I stopped giving sisters books and I talk about deeper subjects every blue moon.

    I like coochie too much and peace of mind.

    I have a life independent of the socio-cultural misgivings of Black women. Like one brother use to tell me, “ I use to hear a sister laugh at the fact that she couldn’t cook, I just laugh with them and go home and cook something for myself”.

    If brother Samurai tell a few of those intelligent women he talks to and help all the time, how he’ll like to knock the back out of that punani…they'll be sitting on his doorstep. Like they say KISS (Keep It Simple Samurai) :D

    PS...WARNING: there are hundreds of usuable varibles to these social constructs...:grin:


    Peace:cool:
     
  10. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i ain't no comedian, maybe that's why i only had one child.

    my synopsis of this advice is that black women ain't that deep.
    treat them like a child and you will be rewarded with sex.
    that's good as far as it goes but it don't go far enough for me.
    what you end up with is sex object, not a life partner.

    under this system, the more intelligent black male will vanish from the gene pool for lack of reproductive opportunities.
    the sisters are "dumbing down" the black race, then?

    BTW - the thugs i know of are not present when it comes time for those college tuition payments.
     
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