Black Relationships : Should Men Pay For Dates?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Liberty, May 21, 2016.

  1. Liberty

    Liberty Banned MEMBER

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    Also, on feminine energies vs masculine energies, imo.... Feminine energy is that thing that compels women to beautify the home and everything around her, including her man. Masculine energy is that thing that compels men to fix things, provide and protect. One is not greater than the other. They compliment each other.

    Go to a bachelors pad and you can usually notice right off the bat that it lacks a "woman's touch". (no décor, mix match furniture)

    Go to a bachelorettes pad and you can usually notice right off the bat that it lacks a "man's touch" (broken fixtures, (etc.)
     
  2. Hermetic

    Hermetic Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    From your examples, I get the impression that many women of later generations lack feminine energy these days an vice versa for men. Heck, even in my generation this was evident since many females I knew in college 25 years ago could not cook a decent meal to save their lives. None of these changes are that bad when you have the resources to purchase the goods and services you need. She may not be able to cook a meal, but she can afford to have a decent one prepared by a Chef. He may not be able to repair plumbing and electrical fixtures, but he can afford to pay a person who does have the training to perform such services. I realize that what you have defined were not even on my list of important things I sought from a woman. Everything you mentioned and implied I could do for myself or pay someone to do for me.

    Also, would you be willing to answer my second question?
     
  3. Liberty

    Liberty Banned MEMBER

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    I am sure there are better examples. I just rambled those off the top of my head.

    Did you read post #200? I think I answered your question there. Anyway, the part that I think you are looking for I addressed as:

    "No, I was not addressing divorce court, if that is what you are driving at. I was speaking of responsibilities of keeping house, bearing children, and raising them within a marriage."

    I wrote a lot more. Go back and read it. If that doesn't answer your question, rephrase it and I will try again
    .
     
  4. Liberty

    Liberty Banned MEMBER

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    I think if I had to break it down to the most common denominator, I might go with evolutionary psychology. Women, usually make a house a home, to the best of her ability. Of course there will always be exceptions. Women beautify things around her, including herself and her man. I posted this already.

    Men tend to fix things, protect and provide in their home, to the best of their ability.

    Yes, with women having to work in order to adapt to the differences in todays economy, we are not always able to be our true selves anymore. But, I think that many men and women would prefer the old ways, if they could choose.
     
  5. Hermetic

    Hermetic Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nothing of what you have mentioned that you feel women supply are significantly important in my opinion. All of that can be easily acquired through the purchase of goods and services. Want your home to look a certain way, hire a home decorator. Want your clothing to look great on you, go to a reputable tailor. Want your appliances installed or fixed, purchase the service. The only two things on your list that can not be easily purchased are protect and provide (though protection can be purchased once you have significant financial resources).

    Really, having any of those items mentioned above as being important to a relationship seems quite shallow to me. I may be wrong, but I get the impression that much of what you consider important about what feminine energy can supply can be easily purchased with money. What can be supplied by masculine energy can also easily be acquired with money or done for ones-self. Can you supply some deeper less easily acquired through financial means explanation for what those two energies you have mentioned can supply to each other?

    I can give you a short list of the things I find important.

    1. Emotional, Physical, and Intellectual support for each other. Help keep each other focused on our goals. To be cheerleaders, counselors, helpmates, and lovers to each other.

    2. A shared vision of parenting to help raise children into well adjusted adults.

    3. A desire to grow together in knowledge about each other and the rest of reality. (Talking, Playing, Traveling, Experiencing life)
     
  6. Liberty

    Liberty Banned MEMBER

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    The point I was making flew right over your head. And, now you are off on an unrelated tangent.
     
  7. Hermetic

    Hermetic Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I understood your point perfectly, but I was hoping that your point was different from the impression I got from it. My mistake, I thought your point had deeper meaning than what you had written. It just seems so materialistic to me, so I had hope there was more to it since you were using a concept like energy to represent it.

    Also, I tried to give you examples of what I consider important that couples supply to each other that are not easily acquired via the use of capital. What I wrote is not split between the genders, because what I wrote is not unique to either one. The examples I gave also do not change because of changes in personal and/or group circumstances. All of what you mentioned can easily become a problem do to illness and/or loss of income and wealth.
     
  8. Liberty

    Liberty Banned MEMBER

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    No, don't tell me you understand my point. You obviously don't. In fact, your nature of going back and forth over to no end speaks to catty feminine energy.

    I have always suspected that you were a poster from the last board I posted on. That you are really a woman who I had a beef with, over there picking stupid fights with me. And, you never disappoint.


    All that you have posted is proof that you don't get it. I was responding to Shaka's statement. He said:

    Lol. I really believe I bring to the table the same thing they bring to the table. The want/need us the same as we do them. I always keep in mind that they are getting the same pleasures that I am.

    I was pointing out that there are inherent differences that ALL women share, as there are inherent differences that ALL men share. Estrogen and testosterone produce differences in men and women . Can you understand that?

    It was never about learned behavior. It was never about what men find important in choosing a mate, or what women find attractive in finding a mate. So, ALL that preaching to the choir that you have done was all in vain.

    There are differences in men and women that are HARDWIRED. They have existed throughout eternity even in prehistoric times, so much that we have become somewhat unconscious of them. If it weren't so, homosexuality would run rampant. Homosexuality could be the rule, instead of the exception.
     
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  9. shaka64

    shaka64 STAFF STAFF

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    Wow I'm kind of shocked at the stereotyping. I never ran into the women you describe. I never had a woman tell me my pad needed a woman's touch they just melted into environment i created. When you say lack. Is there a need? The only thing that each pad has to be is clean. My pad didn't lack a woman's touch it didn't need it because it was mine. It had my touch. The home I live in with the wife is a combination of the both of us. Which is really not far from either of our styles. We like the same stuff. we did it like that.
     
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  10. Liberty

    Liberty Banned MEMBER

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    Maybe "lack" is the wrong word. I mean without. If I visited a bachelors home and he had a vase of purple tulips on his dining room table, I would wonder....

    I would never complain about the décor of his home. But, if I were to live in his home, I'd hope he didn't mind that I love purple tulips. And, I bring them home sometimes, because they make me happy. (among other feminine things)

    *smile*
     
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