Black Relationships : Should Men Pay For Dates?

Liberty

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Aug 28, 2015
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Lol. I really believe I bring to the table the same thing they bring to the table. The want/need us the same as we do them. I always keep in mind that they are getting the same pleasures that I am
I think that is a bit shortsighted. You are bringing masculine energy, and she is bring feminine energy. And, they are quite different. During the courtship more is expected of you. But, in the grand scheme of things, she is taking more risks than you, imo.

Hopefully, she will be the one. You will get married, and then the games begin. She will be taking on a whole lot of resonsibilities you won't have to bear. You will have your friends over to watch the Super Bowl and you won't think twice about saying "Honey, will you bring us some beer?" She will cook and clean your home. She will bear your children and raise them. Her body will be distorted in many ways, for you and the kids. And, she will probably work 40 hours a week too.
And, her biggest fear will be that you might leave her with all those kids to raise them alone. Or, you might even stay, yet require her to raise the kids alone.

The courtship may last a few months, but the marriage will last decades. And, that's when the risks are all hers.
 

Kemetstry

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Kemetstry

going above and beyond
PREMIUM MEMBER
Feb 19, 2001
26,556
7,277
Detroit
Occupation
Chemist
Oh, Ok. I forgot. Y'all be finding women that pay. I've been giving this a lot of thought, because you guys are making me out to be a gold digger, entitled, etc. Another thing about me is I love to have people over for dinner. So, it isn't uncommon that the men in my life have eaten at my house before we have gone out. Maybe even more than once. So, I'm just not feeling asking a dude out on a date, my treat. Except, to offer contribute to the cost of some high end item on the menu that I just had to have, that I didn't think he could afford, didn't expect to have to pay for, or I felt it would be unfair. But, I have been lucky. Except the one jerk-off, and it wasn't like y'all explain it at all.

If she invited you, with the understanding that she was going to pay in advance... The she order shxt, she eat shxt...LOL

And, I have raised my son to either pay for the girl, or take her somewhere less expensive that he can afford. I can't say for sure what he does that I don't know about.


Facts is facts




.
 

shaka64

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I think that is a bit shortsighted. You are bringing masculine energy, and she is bring feminine energy. And, they are quite different. During the courtship more is expected of you. But, in the grand scheme of things, she is taking more risks than you, imo.

Hopefully, she will be the one. You will get married, and then the games begin. She will be taking on a whole lot of resonsibilities you won't have to bear. You will have your friends over to watch the Super Bowl and you won't think twice about saying "Honey, will you bring us some beer?" She will cook and clean your home. She will bear your children and raise them. Her body will be distorted in many ways, for you and the kids. And, she will probably work 40 hours a week too.
And, her biggest fear will be that you might leave her with all those kids to raise them alone. Or, you might even stay, yet require her to raise the kids alone.

The courtship may last a few months, but the marriage will last decades. And, that's when the risks are all hers.
**** sista! is that what you are used to, or gone through. I'm so sorry. Real Black MEN don't act like that. I have been married to the same woman over 25 years (dated her for 2 years). My wife may have worked a 9-5 for 5 of those years. We ran a business together for 10 years. I do 85 % of the cooking. We watch all sports together. We like the same stuff. We did it like that.
 

Hermetic

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May 30, 2015
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I think that is a bit shortsighted. You are bringing masculine energy, and she is bring feminine energy. And, they are quite different. During the
The courtship may last a few months, but the marriage will last decades. And, that's when the risks are all hers.
1. Please explain what these feminine & masculine energy concepts are? From your statements, I get the impression that you feel "feminine energy" has greater worth than "masculine energy".

2. Does your last statement about risks being all hers in a marriage consider marriage laws? I am pretty sure that many men of substance that have moderate to considerable resources would disagree with you on the risks being all the woman's.
 

Liberty

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Aug 28, 2015
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**** sista! is that what you are used to, or gone through. I'm so sorry. Real Black MEN don't act like that. I have been married to the same woman over 25 years (dated her for 2 years). My wife may have worked a 9-5 for 5 of those years. We ran a business together for 10 years. I do 85 % of the cooking. We watch all sports together. We like the same stuff. We did it like that.
No, I didn't go through that. I was a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom), but most sisters aren't. But, being a SAHM meant we didn't share many household chores, it was mostly on me, like the finances were on him, generally. But, I still had more to risk than he did. Especially, because I risked my career for 7 years. Took responsibility for bearing and raising our child, and all that goes with that.
 

Liberty

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Aug 28, 2015
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**** sista! is that what you are used to, or gone through. I'm so sorry. Real Black MEN don't act like that. I have been married to the same woman over 25 years (dated her for 2 years). My wife may have worked a 9-5 for 5 of those years. We ran a business together for 10 years. I do 85 % of the cooking. We watch all sports together. We like the same stuff. We did it like that.
No, I didn't go through that. I was a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom), but most sisters aren't. But, being a SAHM meant we didn't share many household chores, it was mostly on me, like the finances were on him, generally. But, I still had more to risk than he did. Especially, because I risked my career for 7 years. And took responsibility for bearing and raising our child, and all that came with that.
 

Hermetic

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 30, 2015
533
155
No, I didn't go through that. I was a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom), but most sisters aren't. But, being a SAHM meant we didn't share many household chores, it was mostly on me, like the finances were on him, generally. But, I still had more to risk than he did. Especially, because I risked my career for 7 years. And took responsibility for bearing and raising our child, and all that came with that.
It seems you are taking your own impressions of feeling you risked more in a previous relationship and then generalizing it across all relationships.
 

Liberty

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1. Please explain what these feminine & masculine energy concepts are? From your statements, I get the impression that you feel "feminine energy" has greater worth than "masculine energy".

2. Does your last statement about risks being all hers in a marriage consider marriage laws? I am pretty sure that many men of substance that have moderate to considerable resources would disagree with you on the risks being all the woman's.
I am not sure why you got the impression that I feel feminine energies have greater worth than masculine energies. I am simply stating that women are different that men, they always have been and are hardwired as such. Men are typically hunters and gatherers, while women are more domestic. Ideally they work insync.

Though men and women can survive, and thrive, without each other, it is common for them to appreciate the energies of their counterparts. For instance, I have a phobia of insects. I appreciate having a man around if a spider is in my home. Likewise, my man will not die of starvation without me, but he appreciates that he can count on me to prepare meals. That is just a basic example off the top of my head. There are a million as such.

No, I was not addressing divorce court, if that is what you are driving at. I was speaking of responsibilities of keeping house, bearing children, and raising them within a marriage.
 

Liberty

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It seems you are taking your own impressions of feeling you risked more in a previous relationship and then generalizing it across all relationships.

Not at all. In fact, without going into details, I came out better than most women I know. Most women do/did what I did AND worked 40 hours a week.
 

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