Black Relationships : Should I tell this brother to date white women?

[ibrahim]

I am dating this brother right now and the more I get to know him the more I think he should date white women not black women. Here are the reasons

1. He doesn't eat any type of soul food. He doesn't even like mexican, italian, etc. He just likes american like pizza & hamburgers.

2. He frowns at the fact that I put braids in my hair. He calls any type of extensions "weaves". I hate that. A weave is a weave.

3. He's Republican (nothing against republicans but don't know very many blacks are republicans)

4. He's Catholic (nothing against catholics but I don't know very many blacks that are catholic)

5. Any time I talk about black issues (for example anything about the Katrina Victims) he says I sound Militant.

6. He has no black friends (I just found that wierd) And allows them to use the "N" word around him.

I am going to break up with him and hope that we can remain friends but I want to suggest that he date white girls. I never ever thought I would tell a brother that but I just don't see a sistah wanting to date him. Am I wrong??

Why did you suggest he date white girls?
Isn't there any other race apart from white?
And what is the answer you would give yourself after the reading the many replies?

 

[kente417mojo]

I am dating this brother right now and the more I get to know him the more I think he should date white women not black women. Here are the reasons

1. He doesn't eat any type of soul food. He doesn't even like mexican, italian, etc. He just likes american like pizza & hamburgers.

2. He frowns at the fact that I put braids in my hair. He calls any type of extensions "weaves". I hate that. A weave is a weave.

3. He's Republican (nothing against republicans but don't know very many blacks are republicans)

4. He's Catholic (nothing against catholics but I don't know very many blacks that are catholic)

5. Any time I talk about black issues (for example anything about the Katrina Victims) he says I sound Militant.

6. He has no black friends (I just found that wierd) And allows them to use the "N" word around him.

I am going to break up with him and hope that we can remain friends but I want to suggest that he date white girls. I never ever thought I would tell a brother that but I just don't see a sistah wanting to date him. Am I wrong??

Instead of urging him to date white girls, why don't you just tell him to stay single until he realizes that he's black.

 

[Sun Ship]

Why did you suggest he date white girls?
Isn't there any other race apart from white?

Instead of urging him to date white girls, why don't you just tell him to stay single until he realizes that he's black.

I need to be the so-called “devil’s advocate” for a minute..:grin:…I seem to have more respect for this conservative brother's manhood than many who are posting here. Though I may disagree with his politics and ideological views, I still will give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s a freethinking MAN, who’s in control of his own destiny (right or wrong). No one can "really" tell this brother what kind of woman he should be with! If this brother end up with a white woman it will be because he CHOSE to be, not because he was coerced or pushed! At the end of the day, Black men get with white women because they CHOOSE TO!

It seems he’s not the one with the problem (as far as dealing with sister Aisha; obviously he’s clear about his beliefs! And if he's dealing with a sister who's opposed to he ideas and vice versa, then that just tells me he’s in it for something that don’t know ANY politics…and we ALL know what that is…....

Maybe the sister ought to tell him to go get a white woman for the shock value…so he can feel the sting…maybe that will make him think. But what’s so funny about this is that there is nothing this brother is about that makes him a candidate for automatic “whitey-dom”. I'm sure White women politics vary like anybody else! And I’m not defending white women! I’m just using common sense…! I’ve heard a few sisters tell open-minded radical and liberal brothers they’ll be better off with a white woman…!

We act like this brother is a lap dog waiting for a command (maybe from GW..lol) or an okay from a black woman to date a white woman… It’s obvious that he hasn’t been swayed by anything else many Black folks believe or have said…

 

[kente417mojo]

I need to be the so-called “devil’s advocate” for a minute..:grin:…I seem to have more respect for this conservative brother's manhood than many who are posting here. Though I may disagree with his politics and ideological views, I still will give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s a freethinking MAN, who’s in control of his own destiny (right or wrong). No one can "really" tell this brother what kind of woman he should be with! If this brother end up with a white woman it will be because he CHOSE to be, not because he was coerced or pushed! At the end of the day, Black men get with white women because they CHOOSE TO!

It seems he’s not the one with the problem (as far as dealing with sister Aisha; obviously he’s clear about his beliefs! And if he's dealing with a sister who's opposed to he ideas and vice versa, then that just tells me he’s in it for something that don’t know ANY politics…and we ALL know what that is…....

Maybe the sister ought to tell him to go get a white woman for the shock value…so he can feel the sting…maybe that will make him think. But what’s so funny about this is that there is nothing this brother is about that makes him a candidate for automatic “whitey-dom”. I'm sure White women politics vary like anybody else! And I’m not defending white women! I’m just using common sense…! I’ve heard a few sisters tell open-minded radical and liberal brothers they’ll be better off with a white woman…!

We act like this brother is a lap dog waiting for a command (maybe from GW..lol) or an okay from a black woman to date a white woman… It’s obvious that he hasn’t been swayed by anything else many Black folks believe or have said…

I think I see where you're coming from Sun Ship. The reason I said what I said has more to do with #2 and #5. To me, those two issues make me feel as though he's trying to distance himself from black people and anything that has to do with being black. It makes me feel as though he's not comfortable with himself or black people in general. All the other issues are small but telling ones. For instance, IMO, most religion is B/S, so I can't solely condemn the Catholic religion even though they are a group of pedophiles. I don't eat soul food, so I can't fault him for that. I mean soul food is not the most nutritious, healthy food on Earth by any stretch of the imagination. Having no black friends doesn't mean anything to me, because depending on what he's into, there might not be a lot of black people with the same interest. Democrate, Republican...is there really any difference? Neither one does for black people so who the hell cares. The fact that he chose either side is more of an issue than which side he chose.

My thing is, if he's not comfortable with himself being black, he's no good to any race of woman.

 

[Sun Ship]

I think I see where you're coming from Sun Ship. The reason I said what I said has more to do with #2 and #5. To me, those two issues make me feel as though he's trying to distance himself from black people and anything that has to do with being black. It makes me feel as though he's not comfortable with himself or black people in general. All the other issues are small but telling ones. For instance, IMO, most religion is B/S, so I can't solely condemn the Catholic religion even though they are a group of pedophiles. I don't eat soul food, so I can't fault him for that. I mean soul food is not the most nutritious, healthy food on Earth by any stretch of the imagination. Having no black friends doesn't mean anything to me, because depending on what he's into, there might not be a lot of black people with the same interest. Democrate, Republican...is there really any difference? Neither one does for black people so who the hell cares. The fact that he chose either side is more of an issue than which side he chose.

My thing is, if he's not comfortable with himself being black, he's no good to any race of woman.

I know there is a lot of sincerity in your post…but let’s think about this for a second…if Black men and women keep “socially mismatching” and keep trying to get those of us of various cultural and social persuasions to change…this kind of frustration over the years may lend to unforeseen consequences, basically convincing some Black women or men that they CAN’T FIND someone BLACK that’s of like mindedness…which I believe is not true, but sometimes perception is everything…with this in mind, they could be unwittingly setting themselves up to ponder choices outside of their group. So maybe Aisha needs to focus on somebody who is of like mind, because I feel she is just as much in error trying to deal with somebody who's so opposed to her way of thinking, as is the brother she is dealing with.

There is many ways to look at this.

Just something to think about

Peace