Black Relationships : Should I tell this brother to date white women?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Aisha, Dec 12, 2005.

  1. Aisha

    Aisha Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am dating this brother right now and the more I get to know him the more I think he should date white women not black women. Here are the reasons

    1. He doesn't eat any type of soul food. He doesn't even like mexican, italian, etc. He just likes american like pizza & hamburgers.

    2. He frowns at the fact that I put braids in my hair. He calls any type of extensions "weaves". I hate that. A weave is a weave.

    3. He's Republican (nothing against republicans but don't know very many blacks are republicans)

    4. He's Catholic (nothing against catholics but I don't know very many blacks that are catholic)

    5. Any time I talk about black issues (for example anything about the Katrina Victims) he says I sound Militant.

    6. He has no black friends (I just found that wierd) And allows them to use the "N" word around him.

    I am going to break up with him and hope that we can remain friends but I want to suggest that he date white girls. I never ever thought I would tell a brother that but I just don't see a sistah wanting to date him. Am I wrong??:look:
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I wouldn't push him to a white girl , but i would break it off
    and allow him to fine his worth and mate , over all NO you not
    wrong sound like he grew up in a middle class area of whites
    and never had a chance to mix with his bruthas & sistas of his creed.

    But telling him to get a white girl is not the answer sista.
    Letting him go is because you can't tame him so he need to help himself.
     
  3. Aisha

    Aisha Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am not trying to tame him. I don't want to change him that is why I am breaking up with him.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I fully understand that , it was a fraze used to say let him go
    but pushing him off on a white girl i wouldn't suggest that let
    him fine his own way and likings ......Great choice to move on
    because it seem he don't understand his own people and you sista .
     
  5. Aisha

    Aisha Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh Ok. I got it. :thanks:
     
  6. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What was it about him that attracted you to him? What was it about you that attracted him to you? The things you've mentioned about him would make a person question how he identifies himself and who he identifies with but there was something about you that attracted him to you. The obvious thing is because you're a sister girl he may be attracted to his race. For this reason you should not turn him on to white girls. Trust me if he was interested he would already be exclusively dating them. There is sister out there for him. Let him find her....


    Peace.....
     
  7. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    SMH

    Sounds like he's a whiteman dipped in chocolate who is testing the sweetness of chocolate. He needs to spread his wings and soar anyway. Black skin necessarily doesn't make you "down for the cause". How were you feeling him in the first place? Is it worth staying with him? Can you imagine every discussion turning into a debate? Ultimately it's up to you. Sleep on it, some people can compromise. He also seems ignorant to Black culture and issues. You might as well be with a white man going through all of that.........LOL
     
  8. Aisha

    Aisha Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When I met him I thought he was cute (still do) and he is real nice. He's a gentleman and he is really smart, but it's those others that turn me off. He doesn't have to be Malcom X but dang can a sistah get at least a brotha like Kanye West? Sometimes I think he wants to be with me because he can bring me home to mama (if you know what I mean).
     
  9. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister Aisha:

    True relationships are not meaningful unless you are able to grow within them and learn from them. I think it is sad when a black person is unable to associate with other members of their race, but I have witnessed it many times. This disconnect is common among those who are not raised among their people. This young man you are dating sounds like he grew up in a white neighborhood. I've met several people from this background, and almost all of them have an identity crisis. People's perception of the world is often based on what they been taught. Lily white schools and neighborhoods don't teach young black people the reality most will face when they enter society (or leave their parent's home). In fact most are aggressive in giving black kids a false perception of the world.

    I don't think you should encourage any black man to date white woman (or any other women outside of his race). After all when/if he grows up and becomes a multi-millionaire (CEO of a major company), all sisters is going to be giving him venom for being with non-black woman. I can imagine the comments now: Black Women, "Why don't you give sisters a chance?" Your ex-man, "I did but they felt I was not black enough, and one even encouraged me to date white!" Sisters, "Ya right successful blackmen give any excuse not to date black women...no one loves us...I think I'm going to write a book about it!"

    No sister, the last thing you should do is push him into the arms of other races. I think you should use your relationship (whether it be as a girlfriend or just a friend) to educate him about black people who don't share his particular background. He may never see things your way, may never develop into a Malcolm X, or Kanye West....however, you can still open his eyes to many things.
     
  10. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am going to say, no, do not push him off onto another race. If he's dating you, obviously he does like Black women. I'll go reaosn by reason to see if I can answer a few questions of my own....


    1. He doesn't eat any type of soul food. He doesn't even like mexican, italian, etc. He just likes american like pizza & hamburgers. Believe it or not, everyone does not like every type of food. Especially if they have never been exposed to it.

    2. He frowns at the fact that I put braids in my hair. He calls any type of extensions "weaves". I hate that. A weave is a weave. A lot of people call braids "weaves." It may not be a "weave" but it IS fake hair, and most people do not differentiate between the styles.

    3. He's Republican (nothing against republicans but don't know very many blacks are republicans) Probably a good number of NAACP members, plenty of upper middle class folks and half of the church I was baptized in. Republican values are usually conservative values, though this is not always the case.

    4. He's Catholic (nothing against catholics but I don't know very many blacks that are catholic)Surprisingly, there is a large number of Black Catholics in this country. Places such as Boston seem to have high numbers in this aspect.

    5. Any time I talk about black issues (for example anything about the Katrina Victims) he says I sound Militant. Sadly, no everyone will be "down for the cause." Again, this fits in with conservative values. The conservative view seems to be "stop complaining, and stop giving people a reason to complain abouot you."

    6. He has no black friends (I just found that wierd) And allows them to use the "N" word around him. Perhaps he never spent time with Black people. People flock to the kinds of people they have things in common with. For example, if he loves the opera, would you expect him to attend a Snoop Doggy Dogg concert?
     
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