Black Poetry : shoot the moon

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by redlady, Apr 17, 2002.

  1. redlady

    redlady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The sun is rising
    It is dawn
    I awaken on the beach
    Sand is in my hair…on my clothes…on my face
    I slept here last night
    I taste the ocean in my mouth

    I see another figure on the beach
    His dark hair flowing around his shoulders
    Straight like wire..his moccasins filled with sand
    His bow and arrow over his shoulder
    He sits and stares at the ocean waves
    They crash the shore line he seems dazed

    we were together last night
    He shot arrows at the stars
    We fell down in drunken laughter
    We made love under the moonlit sky
    His brother followed us to the beach
    Tagging along feathers in his hair
    Wanting to be with us and around us

    Twang
    As we shot his arrows at the moon
    Twang as I screamed for him to poke it in the eye
    Mr. Moon is always staring at us from above
    I remember black russians and happy hour
    I remember his little brother
    Ducking behind sand dunes but always there
    Pest…little brother…pest

    walking back towards home
    we see little brother asleep on the beach
    Why is he still sleeping I ask….
    As we get closer, we see the arrow in his chest
    The tiny circle of blood
    The feathers around his head
    I thought we shot the moon last night
     
  2. shaz

    shaz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this is gripping and yet another good reason to advocate sobriety
    thank you for sharing
     
  3. brotherman

    brotherman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hmmmmmm, I am not the brightest but curious for the ultimate translation of what just transpired
     
  4. MsBerry_98

    MsBerry_98 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Magnificent portrait...

    Much :heart:
     
  5. redlady

    redlady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    brotherman, it is just a short story about two people who let their alcohol and foolishness get the best of them...unfortunately death was the outcome.
     
  6. brotherman

    brotherman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I will from this point be called duh'der man when in your presence... alcohol and foolishness hunh? A revisit to the post in light of that lets me know that this was a tiiightly arranged piece. my apologies for not seeing it the first time....
     
  7. msluciousb

    msluciousb Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You my dear are a gifted writer!

    This epic poem was well written.
    The story of love smitten and alchol
    and arrows hitting.
    Falling into a trap not familiar to some.
    And if their be any , their are many...
    Who know just where you are coming from.
    Well done!
    BLESSINGS ON YA HOUSE!
    MORE, ENCORE ....I LOOK FORWARD TO READING
    MORE OF YOUR WORK!
     
  8. redlady

    redlady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thank you for enjoying my story...i have a lot more where those came from.
     
  9. GA_Sunshyne

    GA_Sunshyne Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Redlady.


    more, huh?? :) then by all means... bless us!!

    i for one... cain't wait. the imagery & word placement
    in this piece... fantastic!! thanks for sharin' & Welcome!

    :heart:
    Elayne.
     
  10. GQ

    GQ Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Love your scribe power red!!!!

    :heart:
    GQ
     
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