Black Poetry : Shine

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by AfroBoricuaRoni, Jan 16, 2004.

  1. AfroBoricuaRoni

    AfroBoricuaRoni Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    All that glitters is not gold
    And he shines something fierce
    Illuminating beyond anything that can be mesured in watts
    Blinding me
    Now I can't see the harm I'm doing myself by walking into the light
    The more and more I keep going
    The more and more my vision is impaired
    But I don't want to turn around
    Can't manage to detour my voyage in him
    Because stepping out of the light leads to darkness
    And darkness equates loneliness
    When all I wanted was companionship
    And to be kept
    And to be held
    And to feel loved
    I'd rather not have loved at all than to have loved and lost
    Because now I'm missing what I had
    Or rather what I thought it was
    Praying...
    that he would just shine on me



    Roni
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very well done love this piece
     
  3. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this is a nice poem
    to have once
    can be so much
    a missing in the blend
    feeling you on this
    nice drop
    Peace
    Blue :heart:
     
  4. AfroBoricuaRoni

    AfroBoricuaRoni Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wow! thanks guys! i'm getting a lot of good feedback from this piece.

    here's the thing, i know how to read it to a certain extent but i want more feeling and power behind the words. i wanna perform for the first time at the five spot and i'd love any tips and pointers you could offer.
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh to have loved and lost....I liked this. Never read anything I wrote live, so maybe others will have pointers for you. I would think that it would help to bring yourself back to the place you were in when you wrote this....
     
  6. whisper

    whisper Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i really liked this one real nice
     
  7. phenomenalwoman

    phenomenalwoman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    All that glitters is not gold.... but this is. good job
     
  8. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister...this reached deep...
    I've walked into the light before
    and some parts of me...never returned
    I feel you on this...
    Love the way you captured this...
    Your writing in this was masterful

    :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

    Loved it!
     
  9. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    :bowdown:

    This was sho nuff sumpn else!

    You went anotha futha! :toast:

    I agree w/the others! This was a great piece!

    It was poignant and reflective and wistful and bittersweet!

    FABULOUS!







    And :birthday:
     
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