Black Poetry : She was sweet to me.

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by skuderjaymes, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    She sat on my lap,
    kissed me on the cheek,
    then laid her head over my shoulder.

    It was sweet,
    and it reminded me of an earlier time,
    when we were so in love.
     
  2. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    she kissed my neck...caressed my shoulders
    giving my back a casual once over

    "I'm sorry," she whispered, before starting to cry
    i tightened my grip...gave a little sigh

    i was there, again.:(
     
  3. candeesweet

    candeesweet going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Being in a feminine state for a masculine man
    Can and will turn anyone
    On for the degrees of being whole enveloped
    Within both of us
    Mastering the way to love
    Each other for one another
    Consiously.
    Come and have a seat on my back of exstacy.
     
  4. TotalView

    TotalView Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    James,

    Pretty little gem, this. I love the dichotomy. She seems to be exhibiting love but he's only reminded of an earlier time.

    Reading this I was mindful that some of the more vivid memories are those that involve motion. She is totally and fully animated. Beautiful and simplistic imagery. Lovely read.

    (smile)
     
  5. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Thanks Kiwanda,

    I appreciate that you got that. The implication is very quick.. subtle..
    I didn't realize it myself initially. It reminds me of the another piece.. "Fine"..
    where his subject and hers are so disconnected.. it's like they are walking
    side by side, but in two different emotional dimensions. I would love to hear
    her side too.. but it doesn't come.
     
  6. Nahshon

    Nahshon Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    short sweet and to the point...reminders of emotions once felt...nice
     
  7. TotalView

    TotalView Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    James,

    You're welcome. I thought of "Fine" as well while reading this piece. Actually wondered if they were the same couple.

    I heard her side clearly, through her emotions and gestures. You captured her essence wonderfully. No words from her were needed.

    (smile)
     
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