Black Relationships : SHE LEAVES ME IN PIECES ON THE GROUND... pt. 2

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Isaiah, Mar 8, 2006.

  1. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2004
    Messages:
    3,210
    Likes Received:
    62
    Ratings:
    +62
    You could call this part II of a thread I started when I came to Destees in 2004... I know there are some newbies up in here didn't get a chance to respond to this piece, so I'd like to put the idea out there again. Has any of you had this kind of experience??? Man, it's beautiful and all messed up at the same time.... I guess that's life in microcosm...

    SHE LEAVES ME IN PIECES ON THE GROUND...

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This is an experience I have not often had in this life, but when it happens it is the most earth-shatteringly profound thing I've ever endured...(smile!) It is that sista who is so fine - in my eyes - that she leaves me in pieces on the ground... She separates me from my senses, she causes tears to roll from eyes involuntarily, she makes my heart go into major palpitations... She makes my nature riiiiiiiiiiise like Catfish did the 4Tops(smile!)

    Now, I am not a shy person, but this woman I cannot think of a thing to say to her... I figure she's heard it all... That, and the fact that her presence has hit me like a ton of bricks dropped from the Empire State Building, sends me into a panic about what I should say when I come around to thinking straight, when my heart stops beating so fast, and I can, at least, hear my thoughts over the rumble of my heartbeat... Phew, it's so unbelievably powerful these experiences!!!

    Once again, they don't happen every day... They don't happen but maybe 2 times every two years, but they happen, always, at the wrong time, man...because they always cause the same dumb reaction(smile!) Fellas, I aint asking for any advice on how to handle such incidents, because I don't really believe there's a solution(smile!) And since it don't happen all that often, I'll probably have forgotten any advice I might get...

    What I want to know is has this happened to you??? Has there been a sister whom your eyes beheld that just made you turn away, and then do a double-take because you couldn't believe the girl was like REAL??? Yeah, she just looked like she walked outta your profoundest fantasies, without any warning, no signs from anywhere... What was your reaction, brothers??? Were you able to compose yourself, get yo self together a minute, and drop jewels of poetry on the sista???(smile!) Don't be shy, fellas, if that was not the case... True confessions are great for the soul...(smile!)


    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  2. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    Messages:
    4,762
    Likes Received:
    232
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bay Area
    Ratings:
    +234
    I Have A Story To Share......

    It has indeed happened to me, and as a matter of fact, it's happening to me right now.......

    There is this awesome sister here at work, that's in my department, and on my team....

    For the sake of not revealing Identities, I'll refer to her as "D" (her first initial).

    When I was promoted to the position that I'm in now a little over 2 years ago, D was in the same training class that I was in........I walked into the class, and all the seats were taken, except the one next to her.......So I looked around one more time for another option, and then opted to sit next to her.......She initially acted like "why is this dude sitting next to me"......I acted as if her displeasement didn't phase me (even though it did; just the usual response I tend to get from sisters these days :rolleyes: )......After a few days, she began to open up to me.......One day during class break, she got on her cell phone and called home to her boyfriend ( :().....She was asking him "what he wanted for dinner".......I thought it was rather weird that he was home, and she was at work, and she had to ask him what she wanted him to cook........I mustered up the nerve to ask her about it, and she said that "he's not working right now"........How typical. :rolleyes:

    And one day we even went to lunch....She started telling me about how this other woman called her house, and was telling her that she has been involved with this dude (the same one that she was calling home for) for the past couple of months.......This really hurt her, but she was trying hard to hold it together, like it didn't phase her.........Me, with my Uncanny Kemetic ability to read minds and what not, :D I could tell that she was really hurting.

    Anyways, we didn't talk too much after that, as the training class was coming to an end, and we initially went off to work for different departments. I would hear about her from time to time, about her saying or doing something outlandish in the department she worked in. I thought that being that the department she worked in consisted of mostly Black women, I felt as though she was trying to keep up some "image" in front of them, of this hard Sister, because I felt as though that really wasn't her. Either way, I wrote her off, as having alot of growing up to do (she was around 25 then; far too young for what I'm used to dealing with in women).


    Anyways, D finally got transferred up to my department.......We worked several rows over, but she quickly became friends with this other girl from NY that sat beside me.......D would come to our aisle to visit the NY girl, and they would talk for a few minutes althroughout the day, and I would "casually listen" (OK, I was eavesdropping--so sue me!! :D) to their convo's.......D began telling the other girl about this new guy she was seeing, named "BRIAN".......After awhile, it turns out that Brian was this guy that worked part-time at the same gym that I work at, except at another location.......I only met Brian a couple of times, but my lasting impression of him was just another shiftless, lazy brother who had a slick tongue that he used to woo women with. Unfortunately, "D" was another of his victims........This bothered me a bit, but since I had more or less "moved on" from my interest in "D", I wrote it off, by saying "oh well, she'll learn one day" to myself...........Lo and behold, they moved in together for a brief period, and Brian took advantage of her in the worst of ways (mainly financially and emotionally)........"D" was visibly very hurt by this, as it began to effect her work performance, and not to mention her attitude, which had become totally unbearable, since she had decided to fortify her stern "I don't need nobody" exterior to the Nth degree........She even cut off the NY girl, who seemed to be generally concerned for her, and really liked her as a friend.......After all this time, "D" then decides to start speaking to me again, and she shares with me a letter that she decided to write to Brian's mother, about the way her son had treated "D". It was very painful to read, especially since I began to take interest in "D" again........

    Then comes the time when I had my fire, losing nearly all my possessions.......I was extremely surprised when D was one of the first people who donated money for me ($300!!), especially considering how selfish she tries to present herself.........This made me take even more interest in her.......Time goes by, and the time comes for our semi-annual seating reorganization that our department likes to do (for some odd reason :rolleyes: )........Now, I find myself on the same aisle as "D", and only 3 cubes back.........

    I get to see her daily comings and goings, and I also see that she's done alot of growing (with still more to do).......She bought her first home, which is very good, but she has also been struggling with some health issues--most of which, I think, is/was attributed to her stress--moreso, her stressing herself out needlessly.......Sometimes she comes off as really "high-strung", which, as we all know, can effect you on physiological levels. This has manifested itself in the form of some weight gain, which for her is causing even more added stress.......I personally think that she looks very good with the weight (but what do I know, since I like "thick" women anyways)...... She has since then been talking to me about some personal training techniques, natural/wholistic health remedies, and the like.......At this point, I look for any and every reason for her to engage me in convo.


    I realize now, what I fought to deny for so long, that I really like this young lady......I've realized, that for every reason I have not to like her, I have just as many reasons to like her. Even though she is excessively mean sometimes for no apparent reason (she was recently having vision problems, and finally bought these funky-cute little glasses, and she got sarcastic with me when I tried to compliment her on them), moody (she was on probation with our supervisor for being "insubordinate"), snappy, and can be vindictive, she is thoughtful, funny, inquisitive, deceptively intelligent, quirky (on dress-down days, sometimes she would wear her pink Nike Air Max, with these little rainbow-colored socks!!), and very naturally feminine. She wears no make-up or accessories of any kind.......She is really the "girl next door" type of woman, that I have adored all my life. Even her blemishes that she has is extremely alluring to me....... And her feet are absolutely beautiful (yes, I'm a foot person). :D

    I guess I'm willing to over look so much of her "attitude", because in coming to know a little about her, I've come to see through it as a facade. She's not really this mean person that she portrays herself to be; she's just been hurt from all her past situations, and hasn't allowed herself to heal. For the most part, she's a loner, which it quite typical of an only-child (I'm one as well). She came from a good family--even though she's from a small country town (hey, we can't all be perfect :rolleyes:)

    People I talk to here that know her well, say that the man to win her heart, is going to have his work cut out for him.......But, if/when he does when her, she'll turn into a total "*****-cat".....I realized I have it rather bad, because this past weekend I was dining alone in a local Chinese restaurant, and I found my thoughts drifting to her......I quickly snapped out of it, thinking "what am I doing? It's not like she's somewhere thinking about me......." :( So when the waiter brought me my check and fortune cookie, I thought about her once again (they say fortune cookies are geared toward whatever thought the reader of the fortune was thinking at the time that they opened it)......And the fortune said:


    "There is a gradual improvement. Feelings are sweet and tender".​


    What TF?

    An improvement of what? Whose feelings?

    This messed with my Spirit all weekend........So much so, that I took the fortune with me to work, and it's sitting here on my desk as we speak. I even showed it to one of the older women here who knows the situation......


    So, I know what you all are thinking: "Why don't you just say something to her?"


    Yeah, yeah, but what you smart-alecks don't realize, is:

    #1) Work relationships are highly discouraged at our job.

    #2) Even though #1 is the case, people still do them, but everyone's business becomes common knowledge. "D", can be very blount, to the degree that she's been known to tell all her business, along with everyone else's.

    #3) There seems to be a couple of other dudes here that are vying for her attention as well. Though she doesn't seem to give them much attention in return. However, one of the dudes does have her cell phone number, and they talk from time to time (as he like to try to "brag" about). Even though, "D" has made it known from time to time that she sees this particular brother as being "spineless", and that she doesn't respect spineless men.

    #4) "D" can be very, brutally fickle about the men's who company she might choose to entertain. I don't want to be the butt of embarrassment, especially not here at work, given the issues in #2. "D" is the typical example of a Black woman "loving everything they claim to hate, and hating everything they claim to love", especially regarding men. I don't want to be another victim of that.

    #5) I'm leaving for Chicago soon anyways. Even though she's talked before about being bored with, and outgrowing this area, and given that I've tried to "suggest" to her to at least visit Chicago (for my own "unselfish" reasons, of course :D ), she's so stubborn and head strong, that she shoots the idea down at every turn.

    #6) Well, there really is no 6........I just don't think she would like me in that way. As much as I like this woman, I see no point in setting myself up for needless rejection. :bye:

    In the meantime, I've felt like I've been making a complete fool of myself as of late.......Though I don't think too many people have noticed (though I'm sure a couple of people have), I find myself peeking over or outside my cube,
    to see when she walks past :huh: .......I make it my business to find something on her desk to stop and comment about.......And doing even get me started on the Godiva Chocolates that I bought her for Valentines Day...... *shakes head*

    Anyways, that's the story, and I really feel stupid sharing it. I like this girl, and I don't really know what to do about it. Or if I should do anything about it at all.

    Sorry Brother Isaiah, for bogging down your thread with my meaningless prattle. I'll go away now, and wallow in my own self-pity.

    :bye:

    PEACE
     
  3. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    Messages:
    4,762
    Likes Received:
    232
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bay Area
    Ratings:
    +234
    UPDATE:

    She just sent me an e-mail: :geek:

    From: "D"

    To: "SAMURAI36"

    03/08/06 1:07 PM

    Re: N/A


    you need to listen to some of my music


    My response:

    From: "SAMURAI36"

    To: "D"

    03/08/06 1:08 PM

    Re: N/A


    Fair enough........I'll listen to some of yours, if you check out some of mine........(And no, it's not Reggae, I know you hate that :-P )

    Her Response:

    From: "D"

    To: "SAMURAI36"

    03/08/06 1:09 PM

    Re: N/A


    OK

    So what does all this mean? She has barely spoken to me all day...... :confused:
     
  4. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    Messages:
    4,762
    Likes Received:
    232
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bay Area
    Ratings:
    +234
    Oh, and the song she sent me was "DRAPED UP" by the H-TOWN ALL-STARZ.....

    Anybody ever heard of this?

    Well, needless to say this song sucks to high-hell, but whatever.
     
  5. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2006
    Messages:
    1,539
    Likes Received:
    119
    Ratings:
    +120
    she leaves me...

    it happens to every man at some point[i know of two like that]but being older and experienced[not to mention married-smile]i just take a deep breath,speak and bear it,i know how you feel,belive me.
     
  6. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2003
    Messages:
    10,784
    Likes Received:
    4,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +4,472
    sam...chalk it up as a life lesson learned....
    being with someone at the gig can turn out horible...
    i've got my own stories and also...look at eddie murphy in boomerang...lol
    and from my experience...moody women stay moody 4 the rest of their lives...
    chicago will be a good place for you...just go up there with a positive attitude...
    because negative energy of any sort affects your karma....


    one love
    khasm
     
  7. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    1,307
    Likes Received:
    33
    Ratings:
    +34
    Isaiah .....yeah bruh it has happened to me......yep even me I think that happens at one time or another to all men......with a couple of them I've been able to get my head out of the clouds long enough to turn things in my favor but most times when I run up on one like that it's over......I still try though .........



    Samurai we've bumped heads in the past but on this one man I feel you ......there are some women that send me spinning but like oldiesman and a few older cats that raised me always said....ain't nothing to it but a try.....a Brother gotta try right.........man put it out there and at least you won't have to go through life wondering "what if".........that's a bad feeling bruh I've experienced it personally and am trying not to again which is why I put it out there........if she's interested you're in and if not .......can't blame a Brother for trying...........Good luck with that bruh I honestly wish you nothing but the best....



    MississippiRed
     
  8. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    Messages:
    4,762
    Likes Received:
    232
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bay Area
    Ratings:
    +234
    Thanks for the words of wisdom, Khasm, and especially you, Red.

    I'll meditate on it some more, and see what comes of it.

    It truly pains me deeply that, considering all the things I've mastered in my short life, that this issue I have with my dealings with the opposite sex continues to be a great mystery.

    PEACE
     
  9. Agent_Jack

    Agent_Jack Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2003
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ratings:
    +2
    AHH. Draped Up goes hard son. But I digress. I feel ya on your situation man, I really do. It read like an episode in a previous chapter of my life. But life is too short to just sit on your hands man. You cannot let these reservations keep you from going after what you want. Its only a girl man. Albeit a girl you have a huge crush on, but still. I don't think any man likes rejection, but you gonna take some cuts in life when going for the gold. Its simply part of it. I rather fail 20 times than to say I never tried at all. Fear of pursuing my Queen does not bode well with my aspirations of becoming the King/Warrior that I know I am. Besides, she likes you anyway from what I can tell. At the very least interested. She dropped 300 dollars on you in a slick way. She invited you to listen to her music preference, probably because she knew you would not be into it, but that is still an intimate encounter beleive it or not. She knows you are interested in her as well. A drink after work(if you drink) is an easy starter kit to see where you stand. I seriously doubt she would turn you down after what I read. Wish ya the best man.
     
  10. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    1,307
    Likes Received:
    33
    Ratings:
    +34

    Not a problem bruh you're very welcome........disagreements and the minor stuff aside in this world we're all we got......and as such we have to support each other through thing life throws in our way........


    MississippiRed



    Red
     
Loading...