Black Spirituality Religion : Sharing my own personal experience

Discussion in 'Black Spirituality / Religion - General Discussion' started by larry, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. larry

    larry Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Just something I felt correct to share here.

    I started young about 5 or so going to an AME church in my hometown. My grandmother took me there, my mother wasn't so much into it, but she worked hard at a steel mill for me my brother and sister (while my father was LITERALLY a national black / rich / celebrity). Imagine the complex that builds. Anyway back to the point, this is how I was introduced to "religion" / "spirituality" / emotional group therapy I suppose.

    It resonated with me at different times as I grew up and became aware of myself. When things got sad for me in my everyday life, it felt good to let out certain emotions in the AME church around my grandmother / friends / family etc . . .

    Of course as I grew up my resonance with the AME church fell off. Move to around 18 / 21. Life is changed, I live in New Jersey and am in New York city practically 15+ hours out of the day. I was taken to a Baptist church, I think, by friends in NJ. Here they have "altar call" like most other churches to give yourself to "christ." Ok, one day I go up as I'm feeling VERY conflicted about things in my life.

    Fast forward to around 22 or so, I have a VERY INTENSE experience after using a very popular drug amongst many people (not trying to step over any lines here so that's why I worded it this way). This experience basically Formats my brain (the way I feel about it). My mind is quite blank, and as a result my mind is VERY quiet. So for one the first times I was aware I sit down and begin reading the KJV of the "bible." I start at the beginning and once I get to numbers or deuteronomy I have to switch to the NIV version as the KJV was to difficult to understand. As I said my mind was very blank and very quiet and I was able to take in the book at a much faster rate than what I was used to reading and comprehending.

    During this time, roughly 30 to 40 days I read the entire book, I spend about 4 to 6 hours a day maybe more reading, that was pretty much all I did for those 30 to 40 days. Around day 5 or 10 I wake up one of those days (I was sleeping on the floor of my house at the time because that's what felt right. I had a bed and an upstairs with rooms, I just chose to stay downstairs on the floor) and just simply wrapped the blanket I slept on around my waist and went on with my day. I went out in public like this and everything, I went EVERYWHERE this way, on airplanes, grocery stores, business deals you name it. It felt right, I was VERY docile at this time, and VERY patient with my words, my movements, Everything.

    Close to the end of reading the "bible" a friend introduces me to 7th Day Adventist church. Mostly a black 7th day church in NY city. Here I learn more in depth things about the words in the book, how they relate to each other etc . . . Not just new testament but lots of old testament things.

    I leave the east cost around 24 or 25 and am now in California. I continue in the 7th day adventist churches in California. Things go HORRIBLY wrong in California, now I'm back to my hometown. Again I seek out a 7th Day church, but really for the 1st time I'm in a 95% white church.

    Things stop resonating in this church, I feel things are missing and are off. The reason for this is because when I read the "bible" it felt to me like I was reading the words of a "black" (read melanated) person. I feel that the churches I've been to in my past have something really off about the message in the "bible." Also I feel in my own my mind and heart that I'm one of the "jewish" people. I am from the tribe of Israel. I'm not a gentile as I've been told, I'm one of the "chosen people" as in the nation that will bring all nations to reconciliation. I feel "big nose" "curly hair" "white skin" is for sure not a Jew. I feel black people are Jews. I hold onto to this info for a long time, and just keep it in my head.

    Around 26 or 27 I hear the words Black Hebrew Israelite, someone actually called me one and I'd NEVER heard that term before so I'm wondering how can I talk like someone or some group I've never heard of before. While reading the "bible" for the first time in my life I take much if not ALL of it literally. I follow as much of the rules as I can in the book. I change my diet severally. I stopped eating pork at around 12 years old because it made my heart hurt one day (so I thought it was probably indigestion, but I didn't like the feeling and felt it was a pork chop that did it to me). I stopped eating dairy, I stopped eating non vertebrae fish etc . . . As the book progress and rules changed up a little in the new testament I followed those rules as best I could. My family when they saw me thought I was crazy for not eating certain foods, they thought I looked sick, I felt great, I felt healthy. I knew it was odd that the churches they went should have them eating the way I was since I got it from the book they say was truth.

    Another big part I got was to not deal in other "religions." Other cultures, as it was the biggest reason the Israelites were punished. And one of the BIGGEST no no's I saw was "Egypt" (Mitzráyim? Khemet?). It was mentioned very shortly in the torah and there wasn't much detail about WHY I should leave it completely alone.

    So this governs most if not all my thought about what I read, what I listen to, what I believe etc . . . Fast forward to today and why I'm writing this LONG post. I'm at this website because I looked up "do white people have melanin." I was sure they did, because if they didn't I'd think they could NEVER be in the sun. I'm thinking "black" (I don't like calling our people that word hence the quotes) people are the true chosen people because of melanin and other things. So now I feel compelled to talk with my people freely and share with them and see what we can learn together. I think it's time for me to see if ancient Khemet or Kh'maat are indeed what my heritage really is. I'm under the impression that dynastic period egypt is NOT who my people are. PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHY I GOT A CALL FROM A BLOCKED NUMBER WITH NO ONE TALKING RIGHT AFTER I WROTE THAT LAST SENTENCE, anyway. And then again, anyway.

    So I suppose that's that and I'll just leave it at that and hopefully I can get the right information and get put onto the proper track so that I can know who I am, come out of the slavery conditioning I'm quite sure was put on me through my family because of how we were treated not too long ago.

    Man that's a lot of info there, thanks for reading if you did, thanks for commenting if you, thanks for any help and info you may have to add to my journey. Hopefully my story doesn't sound too off the wall and hopefully some people have very similar stories that they get some good clarity from my story, or could help give clarity to me. Whatever the case may be, I'm all for vibrating at a correct frequency and putting the correct vibrations out to those who come in contact with me. Thanks again.

    larry
     
  2. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In the Spirit of Sankofa and Peace and Love!




    .......Welcome to Destee.com larry, glad to have you,

    Very impressive write for several reasons, honesty is declared, all is placed on the table, your mind remains open, like a parachute, and working.

    This journey you are on is shared by many undergoing the same...answers are desired from the various sources available to us, which is understandable. Keep on keeping on larry, using the mind of discernment, as you have.

    In particular, I marvel at the insight you've shown attesting the words of the Bible to be from melanin people that are God's chosen, the degree to which personal acceptance is undeniable. Earlier, you where encouraged to keep on, which is to say, pursue Kemet and Maat depending on self and applied knowledge in order to discern truth from falsehood, so to speak and wherever that falls; as you've been doing...Lastly, well wishes on the journey, you are almost home...Peace In,

     
  3. larry

    larry Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you Clyde. I tried to give thanks to your post but I couldn't see how. Also I left out some parts about the word jew the letter j being made up out of ancient Hebrew. To me this means I'm not jew as it doesn't exist, was made up for malicious reasons. Just had to clarify that.

    All this boils down to I think melanated people may be dealing in some odd places. I'm trying to find my bottom line is all, as you said Clyde I share with as much honesty I know how to.

    Thanks again
     
  4. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    yvw(you are very welcome) larry,

    And thanks for wanting to thank my post, the feature will not be available until your post count is 25, at least 11 or 12 more to go, larry :). When that happens, at the bottom right of each post the Thanks icon appears.

    Yes, the letter J is 20th century stuff and could not have existed during the time of biblical accounts, however, in order to communicate with the majority of people today, its permissible to identify with the term Jew as a paradigm shift, only.

    Great way of putting it, we melanated people are all over the place, so to speak; and all one can do is try to do the best of his or her's ability in finding oneself, no law against that. Again, the insight you shared about believing the same as so-called Hebrew Israelites, yet refusing to be labeled as such reflects and reeks of honesty, throughout...Peace In,

     
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