Black Relationships : "Shacking up" before marriage

Not everyone needs or wants to get "married" some people live together as life time mates, without the document called a marriage certificate and live together happily.
OK, I'd like to respond to this, what I call, a true Jack Tripper comment. It's one of nervousness and fright of being truely bonded to your mate with faith. FAITH is what people have when they decide to marry. Do you have faith in your mate? If you do, and they do in you, what harm is it to get married? You get tax benefits for goodness sake!
Lifetime mates have no legal bonding. Nor are shackers given legal authority over say, funeral arrangements. That's how you shacking up folks want to be backing up your best friend? Being roomates, you hold little or no water over your mate when it comes to legal issues, especially when the rest of the family disagrees with you. Shoot, you really aren't even family. I've seen it. My homeboy thought he was in with the girl's family until they jumped in and took over. He couldn't do nothing but watch and see things done their way. Then he got kicked to the curb.
Could you really have your roomate's back? You think you have your roomate's back, but wait until the law blocks you from being involved. As roommates and happy live-ins, you have little or no rights. I STRESS THIS. Marriage is a whole nother ball park and most people are just too chicken to do what they need to do. Get married. Quit living in sin. Bottom line.
Those that are gay, John Kerry has a plan. I believe it's a newly created union status. I don't think that covers those shacking up though.
Those shacking up, please don't ask for special rights. That would mean Jesus is on his way.
 
mosesgthre said:
FAITH is what people have when they decide to marry. Do you have faith in your mate? If you do, and they do in you, what harm is it to get married? You get tax benefits for goodness sake!

One reason is the fact that men get screwed beyond belief when divorce occurs. I know...I know...."When people marry they shouldn't think about divorce". When most marriages end in divorce they should. Divorce is a part of the marriage process now that it's so common. Yeah, people get benefits and all that stuff, but to me and many other people..that's not a good enough reason. Faith has nothing to do with it. Faith makes people hold on and then finally divorce after 20 years of a bad marriage. Marriage is a nice idea...but the reality is that even if you marry, it doesn't mean you have a stronger bond or commitment than a couple that is not. It's all in your head if a paper makes that much of a difference....not in your heart. Some people are comfortable...men and women...with living together and not being married because they are honest about the state of relationships nowadays. Not to say you go into it with a bad view on it...but just a realistic one. I would consider living with a woman that I love....I will not consider marrying her because I no longer believe in marriage and what it stands for. It's nothing more than a head-game. People get married for many reasons...and IMO faith is not on the top of the list. Neither is love.
 
mosesgthre said:
Not everyone needs or wants to get "married" some people live together as life time mates, without the document called a marriage certificate and live together happily.
OK, I'd like to respond to this, what I call, a true Jack Tripper comment. It's one of nervousness and fright of being truely bonded to your mate with faith. FAITH is what people have when they decide to marry. Do you have faith in your mate? If you do, and they do in you, what harm is it to get married? You get tax benefits for goodness sake!
Lifetime mates have no legal bonding. Nor are shackers given legal authority over say, funeral arrangements. That's how you shacking up folks want to be backing up your best friend? Being roomates, you hold little or no water over your mate when it comes to legal issues, especially when the rest of the family disagrees with you. Shoot, you really aren't even family. I've seen it. My homeboy thought he was in with the girl's family until they jumped in and took over. He couldn't do nothing but watch and see things done their way. Then he got kicked to the curb.
Could you really have your roomate's back? You think you have your roomate's back, but wait until the law blocks you from being involved. As roommates and happy live-ins, you have little or no rights. I STRESS THIS. Marriage is a whole nother ball park and most people are just too chicken to do what they need to do. Get married. Quit living in sin. Bottom line.
Those that are gay, John Kerry has a plan. I believe it's a newly created union status. I don't think that covers those shacking up though.
Those shacking up, please don't ask for special rights. That would mean Jesus is on his way.


The answer to this is very simple. It is up to the couple, they decide what is the most convenient situation for the both of them. We/U cannot use "logic" to convince a couple what they want in a mate, and happiness in general.

THis has nothing to do with religion. So I think it's very unproductive and chauvanistic to throw in one's religious perspective when it come to marriage. After all many atheist get married
 
I agree with you Brother Sekhemu. I don't think it's right for people to judge how other people live. Everyone should be allowed to decide for themselves whether they want to legally marry or remain single and live together. For those who are religious, I know you will disagree. For those who believe strongly in the institution of marriage, I know you will disagree. A couple committing themselves to each other but not legalizing their bond can be as strong as spoken marital vows. And it's not true that a single couple doesn't have legal ties to each other because in many ways they can. To some if the only advantage to marriage is for the tax breaks and financial benefits, then marriage is the way to go. But let's face it, this will probably be an issue for debate as long as "religion" is a central part of our society's government. Practicing a religion should also be a personal choice and not a government sanctioned authority.

Queenie :spinstar:
 

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