Black People : Self Hate - Symptoms & Remedies

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Destee, Jun 5, 2005.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hello Family,

    It's been said that self-hate is one of our biggest problems, if not the biggest. I believe that it manifests itself in more ways than what might be considered obvious. I started this thread in hopes that we can list some of the ways that self-hate shows up in us, and what we can do to counter that symptom of it.

    Yeah ... list a sympton of self-hate and the associated remedy.

    I'll start ... :wink:

    Symptom: Fighting with Sisters and Brothers on this forum, trying to tear each other down.

    Remedy: Challenge ourselves to not have to be "always right" ... be willing to at least give the other person the benefit of the doubt ... actually listen to them, as they may be presenting some information that has truth in it ... though you may not be able to agree with it (all).

    Okay ... yall next ... how does self hate manifest itself, and how do we counter it?

    You're also welcome to offer additional remedies for self-hate symptoms already listed.

    Looking forward to this!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Symptom ... choosing others than your own, for mates.

    Remedy ... re-learn to love (want) yourself and your own.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. daroc

    daroc Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    remedy

    maintain an open miind
    that does mean disvalue the truth but simply acknowldge everything
    we r not always going to agree- but be mature about it- acknowledge differences
    dont make it a thing about wrong and right- discussions are not black and white
    have faith
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i have a problem with always being right.
    i HATE being wrong.
    must be some kind of macho thing.

    but the reality is: if i'm always right, how come i ain't rich?
    still working on the answer to that one, fam.
     
  5. brother Malik

    brother Malik Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You know the self-hate that lives within us has virtually become part of our DNA. I know for me, containing my self-depreciating thoughts is very difficult. Most of us have been raised in AmeriKKKa and therefore have been indoctrinated into the Black-as-subordinate mentality. It's hard to break that mentality. Having been indoctrinated, Black subordination actually feels natural in a horrible, terrifying sort of way.

    For instance, without a doubt, as a young man I absolutely preferred light-skinned women with long, "good" hair. I had to literally teach myself to value the pure, amazing beauty of Black women. I had to keep looking at Black women on the street and in magazines, and teach myself that their looks are superior. It took a while, but I got it now. I actually feel so bad about that earlier preference. How sick I was to have preferred the looks of my oppressor over the awe-inspiring beauty of a Black woman. Now I'm always tryin to get sisters to stop straitening their hair. It's fine the way it is. Fo real.

    So I guess my suggestion would be to start to learn what your definition of what is authentic Black history, looks, intellect, ect..., study it, and teach yourself to value it.

    I need to think of a better answer though.

    Umoja Sasa
    Malik
     
  6. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    symptom: Continuing to promote Willie Lynch inspired Skin Ton prejudice

    solution: Recognizing that all shades of Black is Beautiful, and realizing that you aren't making a "political statement" by how dark or light your woman/man is.
     
  7. Sekhemu

    Sekhemu Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Symptom: Denial of complicity in the destruction of your people. Reinforcement of Socio/political/economic/religious ideas that contribute to maintaining the white ruling class and status quo.

    Solution: Re-invest more disposable income in the black community. Parents take more responsibility for their children, for example, attending parent teacher conferences. Exposing children to more than just sports and video games, broaden their horizons.

    More black males and females, getting involved in mentoring.

    Keep our neighborhood clean, start throwing trash in the garbage.

    Challenging Preachers and Imams to lead by example. Stop denegrating spiritual systems without having a thorough working knowledge of them. Worship and pray to a Deity that looks like you, and not like your oppressor.

    These are a few of the solutions I have to offer.
     
  8. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    One of the biggest factors of self-hate in our community is the the large number of bruthaz who grew up not knowing or having poor relations with their fathers.

    Many seem to carry this internal childhood rage for most black men they run into the rest of there lives and it greatly affects them subconciously and often times conciously.

    It seems to play itself out in how we related to and are often suspicious of eachother as black men.

    As a black man who grew up not having the best relationship with his father, I can say that it definately affected the way I saw older black men...especially in my childhood.
     
  9. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    how do you fix it in the ones who are affected by it?
     
  10. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    James

    I think the solution is to educate both our males and females on REAL sex education and family planning instead of that politically correct jive being forced on them in school and on television and radio commercials.

    The fact is people have sex and it's in our nature to having it abundantly and spontaneously, but we have to be responsible with it and not only understand the consequences but the solutions to any problems that may arise.
    Abortion and adoption are viable solutions that need to be considered more in our community instead of being so taboo.
     
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