Black People : SELF-HATE-How do we stop it?

oldiesman said:
you're abolutely right in what you say,and i unfortunatly don't have the answer,but i do have a theory and that is that there are forces in this country in place to keep blacks divided and at each others throats[yes i know it's not news]but what we have to understand is that alot of those perportrators look like us so we need to stop holloring white this and that when things are shaky,we have to start being more aware of what's goes on around us on a daily basis in the community the schools the church,it's alot of little things almost sublinial if you will that go right over our heads,and remember that everytime that there's a black on black crime no matter what it is that these forces prosper[that's why i wrote the post about liquor stores]we just go about our buiseness and say[well that's the way it's always been]and that's the problem,if we've learned anything from over 400 yrs here it's that the people still have a voice but we have to stick together[THE REAL CHALLENGE]remember the montgomery bus boycott,well it's gonna take something alone those lines on a national scale to effect any sort of scent of real hope i don't know what the boycott would be but i do know that something that strong would get those lazy a## politicians attention and make em do something...there's so much wrong being done to us by others and us,when is enough truly enough!

Brother, you made some strong points here. Regarding those forces that keep us divided, I agree. We may not be responsible for everything we think, but we ARE responsible for what we do. We've got to stop DOING destructive and counter-productive things to each other or at least keep them under control. If there's any thought in our head that doesn't lead to something positive, we need to fight that thought and eventually beat it so that we don't act on it. I know it's hard, but bad behavior habits can be changed.
 
anAfrican said:
ok, guys; thanks - you've "gone the extra mile" with this "demonstration" of the need for a thread of this nature.

would one of you PLEASE give us a demonstration on "How do we stop it--starting TODAY?"??!!!
sheesh!

Bro. anAfrican, Thank you for continuing to ask this vital question. If self-hate is not recognized as our most pressing issue and continuously worked on, we will destroy everything we build.
 
How do we stop it ............

One productive way is to start with self each and everyone of us
then allow self to have heart and reach inside what the next brother or sister
is saying counter it with your own thoughts and share them without judging
we have to take a look at ourselves in this american land and close the gap
that has been laid upon us , self hate comes through what one believe and belief
there moral structure of ego's , no one can't change a person but can change
themself , it's all in the thinking pattern we have been targets so we target against
each other .

we haven't learn how to not point blame , i found that a strong unity starts small
all it takes is real honest and true heart to make a change i think to wing another,
is to start promoting Love and understanding with a few who share the same goals
if i could pull 5 strong brothers together i beleave we could make a major change
and put a hurt on the word hate because our unity would be strong we would be like
a ole banwagon once folks see the good of this ride they will jump on or be left out
not many want to be left out

promote love even when you disagree or when one try to judge your motive or feel
your ego been stepped on , knowing how to control these emotions is a strong way
to end hate against your brother or sister , we need unity and bad and all it takes is to
drop your hero way / I know i'm right / it's about me thing / my way no way crap / and
look at the big picture that's painted and willingly to make that step forward first and
not wait for others to move every black soul need to be a leader not a following tag...

I can go on and on deeper and deeper ...........MHO
 
Bisabee said:
Brothers O and Kemetkind, I think it was good that you guys expressed how you feel. Your negative feelings about each other were right beneath the surface in the tone of your comments to each other anyway. It also goes to show what keeps many of us apart from each other in that we have these negative feelings about each other that we don’t manage well at all.

Most people, at some point, have negative feelings about others in their group, but some people in other ethnic groups are taught from a young age how to manage the feelings to better prevent breaks and rips in their relationships with others. I don’t think most Black people have been taught or learned non-destructive ways of expressing or managing their negative feelings towards each other. This comes out in the way many here talk to each other in a very nasty and disrespectful way. This in turn creates animosity in the person spoken to in this manner and soon they retaliate—and the cycle never stops.

What I’ve noticed too about some of the comments made is that it seems that some people will go to any length to win a point or a debate. They don’t care if they insult, or belittle another person as long as they “win.” Who, in their right mind, would want to build anything with this type of person? We've all got to show more sensitivity and not wound with our words.

So when it comes to stopping self hate, remember the other person is NOT going to change, at least not right away. So your behavior can’t depend on what they do or say. Your behavior depends on YOU. If you change your behavior toward the other person, in most cases, their behavior will begin to change toward you. It has to start with you. Remember, you can either change a person, accept the person, change the way you think about the person or leave the person alone. Any other tactic is going to be counter productive.

This is just a start, but we've got to start somewhere.


Well sister, I for one shall make a change by going back and ignoring some of the comments directed to me and will for now on allow folks to take their shots, withstand them and keep moving forward. But just to let you know. I am not "ticked" by response or lack of response or support for MY sites. I do not have membership sites and my sites are set up as web portals. I have music sites that are growing daily and on a daily basis get more emails and bulletins than I can keep up with.

But I will say this. There are a lot of people who visit this site daily, who are guest and not members and a number formerly were paid, premium members. I actually have defended this site on other sites. But I am learning. As you say, sister Bisabee "This is just a start, but we've got to start somewhere". What I have suggested is folks start with SELF. Instead, they rather spend time projecting onto others. I guess that is an easier route than them admitting their own failure, their own lack of trust, and their own REACTION to what others do and say.


peace!
 

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