self esteem

Discussion in 'Black Teenagers - Teenz Exprezzed!' started by Froggy1, Jul 30, 2005.

  1. Froggy1

    Froggy1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    anyone for some reason mask their true self esteem? I use to do that and still do sorta. ive never thought of myself as handsome even after the girls ive dated. ive always been called gangly lanky slimjim skinnybones pantherman just weird
     
  2. Deepvoice

    Deepvoice Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel you on that Froggy, when I was younger I was always called black and dark-skinned names. Hispanic and white girls have told me different alot of times so now I'm just plain confused about my attractiveness. I've been more into my anger and wanting to do some damage to people so long I think I have my mind more on putting people in the hospital than on girls,lol.
     
  3. Nubian One

    Nubian One Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is a sensitive subject for me.. I'm extremely self conscious.. and my self esteem isn't so great either...

    *sighs*...

    Also, I wish I didn't care some much about what others think.... others being parents, family, friends etc..
     
  4. Sun Ship

    Sun Ship Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Be strong and full of courage...for sensitivity is a strength

    I see that most of you are young and your post are tugging at my heart somewhat…Look everyone has something they have to deal with or they are trying to deal with or overcome. Everyone has someone who could probably get to him or her, a little deeper and could jack around his or her self-esteem easier than someone else could. Some people who now have some of the strongest self-esteems in the world, have been where you’ll are, at sometime in their lives. Though overtime you will be able to deal with this a lot better, now is a good time to start.

    You have to embrace those things that are part of you naturally. Most times people use you to mask their own issues, things that secretly bother them about themselves. By pointing at your “perceived” shortcomings they are redirecting any possible criticism away from themselves towards hopefully you. Believe me, those who make fun of you and get inside of your head, are many times more self-conscious than you are…Believe me…

    A thin skin is not always a bad thing, if you can turn it into sensitivity, as in being sensitive to the less fortunate and others who are struggling to rise beyond their conditions in life…now don’t mistake this with sacrificing your feelings to losers or slackers who are trying to play on your sensitivity…you can run across this type of parasite even when dating, those who take “kindness (and sensitivity) for weakness”.

    Trying to always change what or who you are, or getting back at a person won’t fix self-esteem issues. When people see that what they say doesn’t affect you or you have embraced your looks and feel comfortable in your own skin, usually they'll stop using you as a pincushion. So thicken your skin and don’t allow people to “see you sweat”. Get away from the foolishness of foolish people or if that’s impossible, be bold enough to stop it at the door. Make friends with those who are sensitive people like you, but who don’t play on or play into low self-esteem.

    But never let the toughening of the skin, make you become less sensitive to life and others…for a sensitive and caring person is worth their weight in gold and the world would stop on its axis and civilize life would come to an end without you…believe me.

    Peace,
     
  5. Sodwn2earth

    Sodwn2earth Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Self-esteem seemed to be a bigger problem for me in middle school. I hated the way I looked, and thought I was very unattractive. As I entered high school, I still felt that way but as I began to get older, I saw that there was no one I cared to impress so I could have cared less about what people thought about me. But self-esteem issues really do hurt us in our teen years and if severe, can turn into complexes. When things such as that begin to bother me, I try to concentrate more on what I'm good at and do more of what I enjoy with people who enjoy it also.
     
  6. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    It'll get better, teens.

    As you progress into your adult years you will find that you will care less about what others think. When you have your own family to take care of, bills, college, etc. you tend to realize other people's negativity just doesn't matter.

    For now though just stay true to yourself. People that talk about others usually have a deficiency in themselves that they cover up by putting down everyone else. Don't let their insecurities get you in the way of being happy.
     
  7. Wisdom7

    Wisdom7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The true mystery

    They say the true meaning / mystery of life is to "Know Thyself". It's funny how, if we don't ever deal with that self esteem issue at a young age, it snowballs as you get older. I have learned what I wish I would have found out when I was a teen.

    Love who you are. Everywhere you go in life, people will either like or dislike you. You can't keep changing to please others or you will twist yourself up like a pretzel, and not know whether you are coming or going.

    Listen to your heart, find out your likes and dislikes, how to respect yourself and others, and let the layers of yourself unfold naturally. There really is a diamond in the mist, and you'll find it if you look inside.

    Don't worry about how you look. People who are worthy will love you regardless. :jumping:
     
  8. notbeautiful

    notbeautiful Active Member MEMBER

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    I used to have crazy self esteem issues. I think Everyone goes through it. I was Miss Piggy, big mama, and all them names. It took a lot of ignoring and affirmations to heal me from those days. Sojourner Truth said it's the mind that makes the body, so I take that to heart. You have to affirm yourself and your greatness and other people will see it, too. If they don't, they're lying. It's just that flamboyant. :number1:
     
  9. Riada

    Riada Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes, as a Black woman, it's critical for us to affirm ourselves constantly, to just remind ourselves just how wonderful, smart, beautiful, valuable, and all of that good stuff (LOL) that we are because if we don't do it, who else can we depend on to do it for us?
     
  10. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Esteem issues effect men and women equally although they often manifest themselves in different ways. The key to having positive self esteem often starts with a strong home environment, which unfortunately is lacking in too many homes in our community. In lue of that, self-affirmation is necessary.
     
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